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[flabort]

Because it hasn't absorbed ludicrous amounts of greenhouse gasses yet, the industrial age not having taken place yet; it's still pre-history, for that fact, with those creatures of legend such as Hydras and Undulating Giant Winged Shrimp that Breath Fire running around.

Why do <40 hives not produce enough honey to support >10 dwarves, while >40 hives have reduced output?

[wierd]

Because dwarves dont really know how to properly care for bees, nor how to properly produce mead-- Those are industries invented by those with inferior beards. (aka, Humans)

This is why dwarves totally destroy a hive when they harvest the honey it contains, while a proper apiarist would be able to harvest from a hive without seriously affecting the colony, and also why they cannot have many hives at the same embark site.

Bees are actually quite territorial, and will brutally murder bees from rival hives.
Because dwarves arent very good at bee keeping, they don't colorize their hives, resulting in reduced honey production when there are large numbers of hive boxes.

Combined, these two factors add up to poor honey production.

How do dwarves "mince" alcohol when they make "roast?"

[4maskwolf]

They freeze it, then chop up the frozen block.

How do humans not bump their heads trying to enter my underground trade depot that was presumably dug out for creatures the size of dwarves?

[flabort]

Presumably the path to the trade depot was dug out larger in anticipation for covered wagons, which are tall enough to fit humans inside, so the tunnel will fit a human.

Why do grapes and strawberries get brewed using a different task then plump helmets and other previous-version-wines?

[4maskwolf]

Because the brewing of those plants is intended to be relegated to your lowly novice brewers, while the legendary brewers work with truly dwarven ingredients.

How, exactly, does one caravan mule carry so much stuff in it?

[Aslandus]

Mules are actually meaty pinatas on wheels (sometimes called hooves by dwarves, but they're wheels), they have a lot of space inside for storing goods and the weight doesn't affect their rolling much

Why are elves the only ones that can harvest fruit from trees?

[SlyStalker]

Because elves fail to see the true value of the ultimate crop, the Plump Helmet.

Why can't engravers engrave an engraving of them engraving an engraving of them engraving an engraving more often? (Inception)

[Quartz_Mace]

Because elves fail to see the true value of the ultimate crop, the Plump Helmet.

Why can't engravers engrave an engraving of them engraving an engraving of them engraving an engraving more often? (Inception)

Dwarves go insane too much already.

How do Dwarves create functional, fully fletched bolts out of solid metal, wood, bone, etc.?

[Aslandus]

Dwarven crossbows are capable of firing so accurately the bolts don't need frilly fletching to hit their mark... of course, there has to be a skilled dwarf firing it too...

Why do my dwarves refuse to use the archery targets I set up for them in the dark caves they call home?

[Baffler]

By royal decree, no military squads can begin training unless they have a barracks assigned to them. A special dispensation is sometimes given if the area used for archery practice overlaps with the squad's barracks, but the usefulness of this dispensation is still contested.

Why do the goblins send dozens of raw recruits to attack my fortress? You'd think they would give them at least a few months worth of training first.

[MobRules]

Attacking your fort IS their training.

Why do dwarves quickly obey any order to pull a lever UNLESS it's an emergency and a drawbridge needs to be raised IMMEDIATELY, in which case they always have something better to do?

[Aslandus]

The more tense the situation, the more they need a drink before they can resolve it

Why do kittens only give skulls when butchered?

[FallenAngel]

Because Urist McButcher secretly snacks on the small bits, because cutting up animals for a living makes you hungry.

Why are Dwarves so similar to cats (not great at obedience, can climb up but not down)?

[Garath]

The cat is the next evolutionary step from the beard... or the previous, who knows. Since the beard is what controls most actions on a dwarf, the dwarf exhibits many similarities

[pisskop]

The cat is the next evolutionary step from the beard... or the previous, who knows. Since the beard is what controls most actions on a dwarf, the dwarf exhibits many similarities

Why do cats exist without hosts?