Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[WoobMonkey]

They're too busy sucking the blood of their serfs.

Why do Goblins insist on laying 'siege' with fewer than half of the troops needed to take down a single steel-clad swordsmaster?

[McDonald]

They hope for simple strikes, direct hits.

Why do my farmers complain about lack of seeds, when there are over 900(0) of them?

[Tawa]

Because they live in constant fear of your over 9000 plump helmets running out and having to resort to eating seeds.

Why do married female dwarves have a child every year?

[sal880612m]

... No prophylactics.

Why do some immigration groups have only two and others have up to and beyond 20.

[CaptainMcClellan]

Dingoes.

Why will a dwarfette swim after her baby for days, but still use the same baby as a shield?

[Cobbler89]

Considering the mortality rate involved in dwarven swimming, in either case the mother clearly prefers to be united with her child in death.

Why do dwarven fathers not join them?

[sal880612m]

They are all too busy explaining to the overseer that they can't plant crops because there are no seeds.

Why does starting a fortress basically entail the spontaneous creation of 7 brand new dwarves?

[Cobbler89]

Each fortress is Armok's act of creation within creation.

Why can dwarves be assigned to alchemy if they have no idea what alchemy is?

[CaptainMcClellan]

For the same reason humans can be assigned to philosophy without knowing what it is.

Why is it that there will sometimes be civilian forts with a lord or lady, but absolutely no guards or other inhabitants, especially why is this in an otherwise empty town?

[WoobMonkey]

Poor dental hygeine, congruent with a tendency to invade the personal space of others, has been well-documented among nobility since at least the Age of Myth.

Why can't Dwarfs, with access to flour, sugar, eggs, and milk, make any baked goods?

[m-logik]

Flour is for roasting, Dishmab. Only roasting.

How do wild egg layers reproduce with no nest boxes?

[Bumber]

Spontaneous generation.

Why do they need nest boxes in the first place?

[CaptainMcClellan]

To keep their rears warm in the winter and shaded in the summer.

What causes twenty lairs to generate right beside each other right next to a Capitol City? ( And for bonus points: WHY did the lair-cluster start spontaneously generating unworked leather all over the place!? )

[WanderingKid]

I know it's improper in this thread, but "Wut"?  I'm torn between trying to give you some random answer from Wizard of Oz porn and Teletubbies.  Sorry Cap, but that's... esoteric.

[CaptainMcClellan]

I know, but it's something that happened and made me wtf pretty hard. I can't even go to the Eastern part of Spicyparched or my FPS drops from 63000ish to 0. And the one time I was able to get enough FPS to examine things, there was a bunch of assorted leather. Each time I reloaded the save, even more leather of more varieties. So... I just plain don't know what went on with that. And it wasn't during world gen either. ( Well the cluster maybe, but not the FPS black-hole or the fountain of leather. ) There's also a bronze colossus stuck in stasis in it. And there's no mod whatsoever. Also, the whole reason I went in there was to retrieve the corpse of one of my old adventurers, but I can't access it anymore. It worked fine when I went there and got killed by like 5 snake-people.

I need some kind of insane de-rationalization to be able to cope with my masterpiece dwarf corpse being destroyed/inaccessible.