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[Mr Space Cat]

Because they're dwarfs. Dwarfs can be really kinda stupid sometimes.

How many minecarts could a miner dwarf mine if a miner dwarf could mine minecarts?

[Knit tie]

None. A minecart would just run him over.


"Todok had a little lamb,
Her husband axed it dead.
How it goes to mines with her
Between two chunks of bread"

Dorfify another nursery rhyme.

[fortydayweekend]

As I was going to CatOnslaught
I met seven dwarfs all in a fort
Every dwarf had seven stacks
Of cages filled with seven cats
They also each had seven zones
Seven cats in every tile alone
Every zone had seven tiles
In each direction - z, x and y
All the cats had seven kits
And all these cats were some dwarf's pet
How many tantrums would there spiral
If all were killed by an overseer felinocidal?

[blazing glory]

As I was going to CatOnslaught
I met seven dwarfs all in a fort
Every dwarf had seven stacks
Of cages filled with seven cats
They also each had seven zones
Seven cats in every tile alone
Every zone had seven tiles
In each direction - z, x and y
All the cats had seven kits
And all these cats were some dwarf's pet
How many tantrums would there spiral
If all were killed by an overseer felinocidal?

1,all the cat's belonged to that crazy cat lady...

Why are elephants so mean to the dwarves of boat murdered?

[Nidilap]

It is said in whispered legends that if an elephant were to taste Dwarven blood, it would lust for it until it died. Before that, the dwarves started to mine a huge hole near their homes. Elephants wanted to see if they were peaceful, some stupid dwarf, or dog, hit one and BAM. Dwarves were seen as invaders, not neighbors.

[CaptainMcClellan]

To take up fishing and cheese-making, in a brand-new home!

Why don't dwarves grow flower gardens?

You can't make booze from flowers.

Why are there no light sources in DF?

-You can't make booze from flowers:
Wrong. It's just way more difficult. Ginger beer and rose wine are two examples of possibilities. ( Albeit, according to my current knowledge both usually need regular beer and wine added in to achieve acceptable levels of alcohol. )

[nekoexmachina]

You can't make booze from flowers.

(sorry to interrupt, but) you can, cause you can get booze from anything that has any kind of stuff edible by yeast, e.g. different sugars mostly.
dandelion wine is not such a joke, it just tastes weird.

Ginger beer

not an example really, cause you use ginger roots; also you need a base of any malty mash for it to become a proper ginger ale, e.g. any kind of beer mash as a base for fermentation + ginger as an addition for taste. You could try using ginger as only ingridient in fermentizer apart from sugar/honey/whatever, but result would be again weird.

Actually you could put virtually anything into fermentaizer as an addition for your beer for added taste AND you could use virtually almost any vegetable thing as malt, but taste would be honestly really strange.

I honestly do not know anything of booze production in terms of hard liquors (dunno how to say it in english, "hard liquors" is google-translate of booze-with-30+-degrees-of-alcohol words from my language).

There is no production-accepted example, eg. you wont' buy any non-standard product in virtually any place over the earth, cause the ingridients used for fermentation of alcohol are choosen for reason called 'taste'; however you could try http://www.ratebeer.com/beer/13th-century-grut-bier/89348/ as an 'exotic' example of beer with no hops, which is a beer with key ingridient replaced to a bunch of semi-random (at first glance) stuff. This way beer was brewed back in 13th century in local area of grut brewery, cause of strange laws of that area non-allowing the hops to be used in any cookery.


There was a crouse on janux(*) on chemistry of overall fermentation process; also there is a great book (**) on this topic (which is more  practical than theory, however which contains a lot of stuff you should know to make a good pint of ale) if you want do dive in deep.
(*) https://janux.ou.edu/landing/course.chem4970.html
(**) http://www.howtobrew.com/sitemap.html

[CaptainMcClellan]

Right what nekoexmachina said.

[Vyro]

Why do all the tame animals follow the burrow alert immediately whereas half the dorfs proceed to dick around outside, subsequently get caught, eviscerated and cause a tantrum spiral amongst the remaining workers?

[CaptainMcClellan]

Because. Well actually there's two possible reasons.
1) To make them an even stupider plot analogue to humans. When given a community-wide warning, at least one-fourth of humans will disregard it the same way. Animals however, will run for whereever they deem "safe" once the loud noises start.
2) The animals are secretly in charge, feigning ignorance while they use dwarves to do their bidding. In particular, cats are the top of this hierarchy, allowing their other animal brethren, and even their children to be slaughtered in their stead.

[Nidilap]

Why are predatory animals such fucking canon fodder? Wolves, coyotes, lions, tigers, cougars, they are all so easy to kill! The only exception is the Grizzly Bear, but even then,his cousin the black Bears so easy! Why?

[Graknorke]

Why are predatory animals such fucking canon fodder? Wolves, coyotes, lions, tigers, cougars, they are all so easy to kill! The only exception is the Grizzly Bear, but even then,his cousin the black Bears so easy! Why?

Dwarves are both hardcore and disgusting to eat, so nothing hunts them and they have the strength and tools to kill most anything else.

How does a soap wall join onto a metal wall?

[klefenz]

By pushing the metal into the soap

how can a totally unprepared dwarf perform a brain surgery succesfully?

[Vyro]

how can a totally unprepared dwarf perform a brain surgery succesfully?

The same way he does the diagnosis first - since no surgical tools are being invented yet, it is the beard that's involved. The beard and a lot of alcohol.

Who named the Troll "Dang"?

[jcochran]

Dang's mother.
"Congratulations on the new troll."
"Dang"

Why are dragons so useless?