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[Shurhaian]

They're shy, and don't ever mine where they might be observed.

Why do military dwarves attack everything but their designated target, given the choice?

[Komra]

Your entire military is planning a rebellion against your cruel, omnipotent rule. these are the first signs shown in every fortress. Euthanize them immediately.

Why do dwarves complain about carrying new shiny things across a river due to 'dangerous terrain,' but don't hesitate to construct a floor over a volcano caldera?

[Frogwarrior]

Volcanoes rarely have carp.

Why don't monarchs have any sort of material or item preferences whatsoever?

[Kilroy the Grand]

Volcanoes rarely have carp.

Why don't monarchs have any sort of material or item preferences whatsoever?

They were pregenned with the world, your dwarfs are made on the spot.

[SirAaronIII]

Why do a pool of blood and a pool of magma look exactly the same? (Both bright red double-tildes IIRC)

Blood is dark red.
Since the previous poster didn't put his/her own question...
Why do marksdwarves always insist on using the good metal bolts on the ranges?

[Komra]

Because they are uppity soldiers who absolutely ust use the highest quality item, no matter what1 you can, however, give them a VERY STERN talking to in the military menu, and supply them with bone bolts for training only and metal bolts for combat.

why can dwarves only make rock swords from obsidian?

[Shurhaian]

Obsidian IS a rock (or close enough, in game terms; a stone). Specifically, one that cleaves into very sharp pieces, which can then be set in a length of wood. Rocks with that property are relatively rare.

Why do underground plants, sealed away from the elements on the surface, have seasonal cycles, whereas all surface plants are year-round?

[Spaghetti]

Cuz dwarves dont want to farm all the different plants all season every year that would suck!

Why does the dwarven steel battle axe with proffesional skill glance off a human iron breastplate but a good punch from a novice jam the rib right through the lung?

[Komra]

The dwarf you are commanding was eager to show his squad-mates his Karate prowess, and so allowed his axe to be blocked so as to increase the punch's impressiveness.

Why are dwarven ghosts represented by such strange characters on-screen?

[jaxy15]

Because dwarven ghosts ARE pretty strange characters.

Why haven't dwarves obtained gunpowder yet?

[MonsteR]

Why haven't dwarves obtained gunpowder yet?

Dwarves have discovered the secret of gunpowder no less than 278 times. To date, no survivors have been found.

Why are dwarven children not satisfied with my lovingly crafted gabbro toys, and instead seek to incite insubordination by declaring parties all day long?

[acetech09]

If YOU had the choice to either Party or play with rock toys, which would you do?

Why can you dump an infinite amount of items onto a single square?

[The Merchant Of Menace]

For the same reason 2 kiitens can't stand beside each other but 10000 dragons can share a tile as long as 9999 of them are lying down.

[Komra]

Why can you dump an infinite amount of items onto a single square?

Or, the items are stacked atop one another. since layers are variably high (see: fitting titans in a DWARF-size fortress with no issue), a perfectly-balanced stack can go as high as it needs to be.

how do dwarves know that they have been adopted by a kitten?

[MaximumZero]

Ever wake up with a cat lying on your face? That's how they know.

With all the inventions of the day, why am I forced to mod in shovels?