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[WoobMonkey]

Urist McForumite cancels answer question: job item missing or destroyed.

How tall is a QSP stack of 300 pieces of rock?

[klefenz]

The same size a boulder. Dwarven QSPs compress matter in a reduced volume.

Why dont the dwarves ever wear all that jewlery they make?

[cyberTripping]

wearing -gold amulets- slows you down. Next thing you know, you're unable to make it to the booze stockpile before it's drained, and you're stuck outside when the fort locks up for a siege.

Why can't my dwarves just sticks bars and charcoal into barrels or pots? Why do they need to use bins, despite having plenty of barrels available?

[4maskwolf]

Why can a dwarf not take two seconds to take the bag OUT of the barrel rather than tote the whole seed barrel?

[Bumber]

wearing -gold amulets- slows you down. Next thing you know, you're unable to make it to the booze stockpile before it's drained, and you're stuck outside when the fort locks up for a siege.

Why can't my dwarves just sticks bars and charcoal into barrels or pots? Why do they need to use bins, despite having plenty of barrels available?

They figure you can't put a square bar in a circular container. (Charcoal happens to be in the form of BBQ brickettes, apparently.)

[flame99]

Why can a dwarf not take two seconds to take the bag OUT of the barrel rather than tote the whole seed barrel?

Dwarves are extremely lazy creatures, and it's hard work, getting pocket-dimension containing bags out of pocket-dimension containing barrels, and unless explicitly ordered to do otherwise, they'll just leave it in there and take the whole thing.

Why do dwarves see fit to leave bits of blood lying around, when it's a well-known fact that touching said blood causes your beard to melt off? And why is it that when I give up trying to get them to get rid of the stuff and just make them wear boots instead, they decide they're apparently fatally allergic to boots?

[wierd]

The answer to both questions is quite simple:

Both end up with beard melting blood on them, and getting anywhere near them will result in beard melting. Dwarves are particularly fond of their beards, and as such are unwilling to take the risk.

Besides, the pool of forgotten beast ichor in the hallway that nobody wants to touch makes excellent kobold poison, since blood spatters dont count as traps, and thus trap-avoid has no impact on contact syndrome progression-- and kobolds dont even wear the socks they steal.

(Nobody really knows for sure what they actually DO with them...)

How is it that mass is continually created on a DF world, yet surface gravity is not affected?

[klefenz]

It is affected, dwarves just get used to it.

Why cant dwarves encrust gems into the weapons they make?

[4maskwolf]

How large is a tile in dwarf fortress, some ask.  Well, here's the answer.  It's small enough that a lamb causes dwarfs to crawl to get by it but big enough that you can fit ten thousand dragons in it as long as 9999 are lying down.

And that's final.

[cyberTripping]

Why cant dwarves encrust gems into the weapons they make?

Weapons aren't some fancy trade commodity, they're made to kill! Menacing spikes of iron? Sure. And engraved images are the weapon equivalent of racing stripes.

Why does my last remaining dwarf decide to take a break, have a drink, conduct a meeting with nobody, and then eat before pulling the lever?

[doomyoshi]

Why cant dwarves encrust gems into the weapons they make?

Weapons aren't some fancy trade commodity, they're made to kill! Menacing spikes of iron? Sure. And engraved images are the weapon equivalent of racing stripes.

Why does my last remaining dwarf decide to take a break, have a drink, conduct a meeting with nobody, and then eat before pulling the lever?

He has moral qualms about washing the dining room with magma and hopes you change your mind.

Why are all my immigrants useless?

[Erils]

Why are all my immigrants useless?

They're not useless. Just draft them into the military, give them random jobs, or start studying !!SCIENCE!!

Why do mountain gnomes like tearing teeth out of dogs, but don't do anything else to them?
That's what happened in my fortress and now my tame dogs have no teeth. They have no other injuries, just a lack of teeth.

[WoobMonkey]

To make dentures, of course!

How do dwarfs store all the terror they import from the goblins?

[☼!!Troll Fur Sock!!☼]

They don't store it. Because of a bug that doesn't allow you to create terror stockpiles, it gets scattered all over the place.

How can a dwarf/animal/everything get pregnat if it was separated from every other of it's race by 30m thick rock wall for years?

[Lord_lemonpie]

Spores, Spores everywhere.

Why can a yak cow be stricken by melancholy?

Spoiler: Actually just happened to me (click to show/hide)