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[Sscral]

You forgot to ask a question.

Why aren't whips made of leather?

[jaxy15]

Because we all know leather is a bad material for weapons!

Why can't adventurers breathe fire?

[Frogwarrior]

Because all of the fire would start on the same tile as the adventurer, and thus would all get blocked by your shield.

Why are Forgotten Beasts made of snow or ice immune to magma?

[Eric Blank]

It's the forgotten kind of frozen water. You know, high melting and boiling points, extremely high specific heat...

Why are my multi-legendary masterwork steel-clad soldiers dying like flies to beasts barely 10 times their size, number, and with very little mithril as the only thing better than iron in their equipment?

[Sscral]

Because masterwork steel thongs aren't providing enough coverage.

How does a dwarf carry/drag a whole ((adult)(huge))whale carcass all by himself?

[Komra]

How does a dwarf carry/drag a whole ((adult)(huge))whale carcass all by himself?

If a dwarf can haul hundreds of pounds of rock all day, a whale shouldn't show much challenge. Or if it does, the vast amount of blood slicking the area around any GOOD fortress should be enough to slide anything through with no trouble.

Why do dwarves refuse to change clothes until an article entirely disintegrates?

[SirAaronIII]

They understand that bags and ropes are more useful than clothes.

Why is "fire" hotter than magma?

[Broseph Stalin]

!!Exclamation Points!! are excellent heat conductors.

Why aren't there any objectively good civilizations?

[Urist Da Vinci]

!!Exclamation Points!! are excellent heat conductors.

Why aren't there any objectively good civilizations?

Because Dwarf fortress has a "Grey and Black" morality system. Heroes are only heroes from the perspective of their own civilization, but absolute evil does exist...

Why do Dwarves make 'short' swords? I mean, we have craftdwarfship and human clothing is "large" (when seen by a dwarf), why not some other phrase?

[Mr Frog]

Dwarves don't scale down their weaponry, hoping that their small size will make their weaponry seem larger in comparison and thus more intimidating (this is stupid, but you must remember, these guys are ideally drunk off their asses 24/7). As such, a dwarven short sword is actually the same exact size as a human-made one.

Why do a pool of blood and a pool of magma look exactly the same? (Both bright red double-tildes IIRC)

[Shurhaian]

Because magma is the blood of the world.

Why do moody dwarves disdain magma workshops in favour of their (normally-coal, in-the-instance willpower)-fueled counterparts, but only sometimes?

[Mr Frog]

A true dwarf would never degrade themself with magma when they are perfectly capable of powering a forge through sheer !!HOT BLOODEDNESS!!. (The ones that do are Not True Dwarves and therefore don't count.)

Why did the water in my well shaft settle 1 z-level lower than the reservoir supplying it (physics be damned)?

[Komra]

Well, obviously, the sheer amount of water being drawn out of the well has created an area wherein the water level is decreased. That, or the small black hole powering the well's retrieval system is throwing a hissy fit.

Why is there no trace of oil in the ENTIRE WORLD? This would herald a new age of weaponry, people!

[The Merchant Of Menace]

Because dwarf fortress worlds are rarely more than 1000 years old.

Why are you able to find coal in a year 1 world?

[jaxy15]

Armok instantly creates the minerals first.

How do civilizations have metal and stone, even though everything looks unmined?