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[Urist McRas]

Well, they carry it for the rest of their lives. That's the reason for suicidal behavior.

Why can't dwarfs dig without picks? Sand should be totally diggable barehanded.

[BlackMuffin]

Dwarf hands are too small to effectively dig up sand. Picks are normally built with explosive tips, which is much more useful on soil and sand as it is looser and softer than stone. This is why both stone and sand can be mined faster by dwarven pickaxes than human pickaxes.

Why do walls built from non-magmasafe components not melt while furniture made from the same material will melt immediately when submerged in lava/magma?

[Urist Mc Dwarf]

Because walls are blessed by Armok to be indestructible.

Why do dwarves cancel jobs such as fishing or hunting to hunt for vermin? And why do dwarves hate eating vermin anyway? They'll eat pretty much anything.

[Urist McRas]

They hunt vermins to mimic cats. Since cats don't eat their prey, dwarfs also dislike it.

Why can't dwarfs make bed from stone? It looks much easier then making a door or a mechanism.

[WoobMonkey]

They can, but wooden beds give them dreams of murdering whole forests full of elves.  Once you've had a night like that, you never turn back.

Why don't dwarfs look in the direction they're about to dodge, BEFORE jumping away from a harmless fish/turkey/forgotten beast?

[TalonisWolf]

Because they can't stop maiming the animals long enough to tame them.


 Why are picks so good at severing limbs?

LIES!

The mounts are to friggin tall to get up on. In frustration, they then maim the stupid thing.

They can, but wooden beds give them dreams of murdering whole forests full of elves.  Once you've had a night like that, you never turn back.

Why don't dwarfs look in the direction they're about to dodge, BEFORE jumping away from a harmless fish/turkey/forgotten beast?

The fish/turkey/forgotten beast is like a Minecart Crash, they can't look away!

How is it that dwarves manage to rip apart the fabric of reality, time, or space on a daily basis, yet never take advantage of this to doom the elves?

[Urist McRas]

Dwarven society runs on a delicate sanity balance. Dooming the elves is a simple and sane goal, it may not be achieved by simple, safe yet powerful means. Instead one should use something complicated and unsafe, like weaponized forgotten beasts.

Why there are no bald dwarfs?

[Erils]

Why there are no bald dwarfs?

There are. They just make wigs out of the beards of dwarves who have fallen into shame and no longer deserve the right to have a beard.

Why does everyone hate elves?

[SkyRender]

Why does everyone hate elves?

 How much would you like a bunch of height-ists who get huffy when you try to sell them wood, yet are willing to offload half a forest's worth of the stuff to you?  Bunch o' hypocrites, I say.

 Why is it that every time a siege happens, every single Dwarf seems to think this would be a perfect time to go saunter off into the wilderness outside the fort?

[BlackMuffin]

Where do you think they go to the bathroom, mate? When you gotta go, you gotta go.

Why do I keep getting told no distillable items exist when I've got 49 stacks set aside just for brewing?

[Dwarf4Explosives]

Because dwarves think they can trick you into ordering them to make larger amounts of booze.

Why do dwarves vary from "mentally stable enough to have half their family killed whilst remaining ecstatic" to "going on a rampage because they didn't have a bed two days ago although they have one now"?

[SkyRender]

Why do dwarves vary from "mentally stable enough to have half their family killed whilst remaining ecstatic" to "going on a rampage because they didn't have a bed two days ago although they have one now"?

 Some Dwarves can't be reasoned with.  They just want to see the fort burn.  What, you thought psychopathic tendencies weren't modeled in Dwarf Fortress?  Hah.

 If Dwarven nobles know that what they're requesting is impossible to make, why do they keep requesting it be made over and over again?

[Urist Mc Dwarf]

they are machoistic

Why do brokers take breaks from napping and eating only while the traders are present?

[WoobMonkey]

To give foreign merchants the impression that they don't need or care about their goods.  It's a ploy to drive down prices.

Why can dwarfs make an axe out of fungiwood that will cut oak, but can't fashion a pick out of rock that will dig through sand?

[jcochran]

Because beard hair is harder than wood, so they can make an axe. However, rock is harder than beard hair, so they can't make a pick.

How can dwarves carve enormous rooms in sand, yet not have their roofs collapse?