Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[Imp]

Because he's actually interested in what he's teaching and takes up a lot of time with personal anecdotes and with 'overteaching'... it's not enough to just 'do it right', his axe students also have to do it exactly like he does.

Why is it so much easier for me to think up answers than it is to think up questions?

[Liber celi]

Because in your heart, you know the answer already. Embrace it*. Embrace the darkness*.

*Liber Celi Inc. can not be held accountable for any financial, bodily or spiritual harm arising from embracing inner or outer darknesses. Embrace responsibly!


Why can't dwarves wash out their wounds with rum?

[Grim Portent]

Male dwarfs, much like certain fungi, constantly shed spores. These spores drift into the beard of female dwarfs known to be in a 'receptive state'. Unlike in humans this state is most likely to be found in married dwarfs. Once the spores have reached an appropriate female she is belabored with a parasitic beardless entity known as a 'dwarven baby'. This can only occur in uninfected individuals. As levels of spores in the air increase with the passing of time the rate of infection rises to the point where all married female dwarfs will become infected the moment they have successfully expelled the parasite. The parasite itself is then attacked by the localised dwarf fauna known as a 'beard'. This beard mentally suppresses the expelled parasites mind and forces it to gradually integrate into dwarven society.

Why can we not shear dwarf prisoners beards to make thread from?

[acetech09]

Shearing a beard is unthinkable for any dwarf, even if he is a prisoner. Crime against dwarfkind.

My BART train leaves in about eight minutes so I have to leave work now. Can somebody else think of a question for me? kthxbai

[flame99]

Why hasn't Dwarf Kart caught on?

[acetech09]

Why hasn't Dwarf Kart caught on?

Because it's not fun. It's !!fun!!. Therefore, nobody has survived to tell us about it.
(Wasn't going to answer effectively my own question but thread's dropped to page 2 and emergency measures must be taken)

If there is no light in caverns and 'sight' is via touch and beard-whiskers, then how do dwarves know the colors of cave creatures?

[wierd]

The don't. It is REALLY just an alcoholsim induced form of synesthesia, similar but not identical to, the "psychodelia" associated with LSD consumption in humans. "The color of the music", and all that. In this case, the inputs from their sensory whiskers are mistakenly processed by their visal cortex as a kind a "false color vision", which is also why dwarves insist that they see giant humanoids made out vomit, and enormous beetles made of brown jasper. The degree of intoxication, coupled with this unique form of sensory input, produces very unusual and singular hallucenations, of which there is a sensory process to create the illusion of color in a completely lightless environment.

Interestingly, dwarves share a highly curious degree of specificity and consistency when describing the same percieved creature.

If there is a moon, why are there no tides on ocean embarks?

[WanderingKid]

Mermaids have learned to counter the tidal affects, because their seaweed houses kept blowing down.

What in the hell possessed this moron of a goblin thief?

[Yerv]

He was hired by the elves, must've been some fickle years in his career.
Why does a vampire that has killed 88 people get killed easily by the most common metal available?

[!!Fyre!!]

I have been unable to get my dwarves to trade with the mountainhome...ever. I have seperate mayor and brokers so the meetings aren't causing a conflict. This past caravan I had the "anyone may trade" option turned on and anywhere from 14-32 idle dwarves as well as having all labors on my broker turned off for the entire time they were here (nearly 3 months) and no one ever bothered to take a stroll over to the depot. It's like this every time dwarves come to trade, but my broker will happily clear his schedule on his own the moment elves or humans enter the map. Maybe if I magma bomb the next few non-dwarven caravans my broker will make some new dwarven friends.

[flame99]

People are too busy trying to kill it with steel and admantite, so natural selection kept the ones weak to copper in the gene pool.

[acetech09]

*Pulls the starter cord*

What part of the octopus is the source of octopus chitin?

[Yerv]

Octopi and squid are not actually cephalopods, they're insects!
Why are octopi and squid not cephalopods?

[acetech09]

Because Armok couldn't be bothered to type cephalapolpods properly.
Cephalapods.
Cepholaopods.
Ceph... nvm.

How do dwarves know that there's danger in a fortress when nobody ever leaves?

[Imp]

How do dwarves know.... Beardsense.  Don't even need to read the rest of the question to know the answer; one size fits all.

Which came first, the Beardsense or the Beard?