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[Scootagoose]

They breath the various chemicals that are released when dwarves drop various things into the magma pit.




Why do dwarven archers stick to running at the enemy using the crossbow as club, even if they have a bunch of bolts?

[pisskop]

Badassery is proving you can do it in the worst possible way.

Why don't dwarves invent a crossbow with a  bayonet?

[gbrngfol]

Because they think a sharp crossbow is pointless.

Why have dwarves not made a kittenapult yet?

[flame99]

They tried. The kittens wouldn't have it. They opened up a rift, similar to SCP-2559-J, and swallowed the fortress. The portal to the Overlords realm is closed now, but it's on the verge of opening. All the cats are trying to open it again, but it requires a willing dwarvern sacrifice. They hunt vermin and bring them to unhappy dwarves that hate them. They drive them to suicide, but so far the rite has been unsuccesful. So remember, slaughter all your kittens, lest they slaughter us!

Why haven't any Forgotten Beasts been added to the lists of SCPs?

[hops]

The SCPs are still too focused on containing Armok, the maker of these, first.

Why don't elves just take over the world already? Time is on their side.

[Liber celi]

Aye, but the steel axes are over here on the superior side.

Why don't goblins just stay home and try not to die painfully?

[Larix]

Their fortresses are slowly slipping out of their control, taken over by abducted dwarfs and their offspring. They're looking for a place they don't have to share with so many beards.

Why do hunters go into 'sneak' mode the moment they embark on a hunt - while the hunter is deep inside the fortress, surrounded by other dwarfs and hundreds of steps outside their mark's attention range?

[Komra]

They were playing too much Oblivion and think that sneaking around their friends will improve their skills.

How would dwarves deal with an enemy's mobile siege engines?

[flame99]

Magma cannon.

If magma cannons are so important to dwarves, why isn't it a dwarvern word?

[Graknorke]

Because they don't have words for magma or cannon; having a word for a combination of the two would be running before they can walk.

What strange magic to medical dwarves weave to heal the obscenely deadly injuries?

[wierd]

No magic at all. Dwarven blood is a natural antiseptic; note, infection *ONLY* sets in once dwarves stop drinking alcohol, and sober up. Dwarven blood alcohol levels are sufficient that dwarves are able to catch fire easily, and burn with tremendous heat. Germs don't stand a chance. Medical dwarves just mummywrap the bejeebus out of their victi..er.... "patients" to control the bleeding (and to keep them strapped to the table for experiemen....errr.... "surgical proceedures." ) because dwarves routinely experience these kinds of life threatening injuries, nature finds ways to make them have naturally strong constitutions.

Now, what are dwarven livers made from, exactly? They filter more alcohol in a day than 2year olds pee into public pools across america on a hot summer day!

[Mr Space Cat]

Ah yes, you see, when Armok first made the worlds, and it came time to make the dwarves, he first fashioned them from the mountains and carved their organs from gems. Then he spat on them to make them soft ugly meaty bloodbags with beards. Unfortunately, these first dwarves were incapable of consuming the alcohol Armok first gave them, and they died from alcohol poisoning. So Armok reshaped them, and in place of the diamond liver he used a sponge one instead. Armok had a bit too much sponge left over when his masterworks were finished, and so he (d)umped the sponge bits from his bloody heavens down to his designated garbage dump, and that's where giant sponges come from.

How do dwarves carve artifact statues and cabinets and beds from a single gemstone?

[Komra]

Artifacts are indestructible by nature, so even an insanely thin item (say, a monomolecular-sheet gem bed, made by combining atom-thin slices of gemstone) will still remain sturdy. Any engravings are actually just shaped holes.

Why aren't there trebuchets/ Additionally, why dosn't anyone use special siege ammo (fire, bio-weaponry, MAGMAAAAAA-infused dolomite shells, etc.)?

[Scootagoose]

Because the dwarves rather hit castle walls with their FISTS!




Why don't humans use science against !!SCIENCE!!?

[pisskop]

Science is afraid of !!SCIENCE!!  That's why we stopped alchemy, after all.  Wah wah wah, Human rights violation.  Psychologically cruel experiments. . .

Why don't dwarves use pipes for water/sound?