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[JimDale]

Beards are the dwarves' placentas.

Why is my militia commander not bothered that much by the body of his dead friend in his bedroom? And also the fact that he has to step over it to go to sleep, and even when the corpse was still there when he and his lover were in bed?

[Jellycat12]

He got over his brothers death.

Why do newborns have full heads of hair?

[Callista]

Why not? Human babies often do.

How does a Urist McTripletMom hold on to three babies at once?

[birdy51]

By juggling them.

Just how do dwarves tame their dragons?

[Corai]

They beat them with a hammer, then lovingly cuddle it. Then beat it again. Then lovingly cuddle it.

Why don't bandits attack you when you embark on their camp?

[Gavakis]

Because they are sad little lonley bandit's and allways protect you because they think they are our friends.

Why are bronze colossus's statues at random?
( as in a bronze colossus will drop a cricket statue instead of a a man?)

[TopHat]

The statue is the colossus's heart and this can be any shape. The rest of the body breaks apart.

Why do dwarves think that wasp stings are worthy of an announcement.

[Tsuchigumo550]

Because wasps are the ANGRIEST INSECT KNOWN and DEMAND ATTENTION. No one is stupid enough to deny them that lest 5000 swarm the screen.

Why do dwarves decide that when on fire, that's the best time to drink alcohol?

[Jellycat12]

They can't feel heat.

Why do children never clean their rooms?

[MoonLightBird]

They never live long enough.

Why do bears like booze so much?

[Jellycat12]

They are dwarves in suits.

Why can mushrooms be used as wood?

[pisskop]

These are not just mushrooms, these are evolved mushrooms... In order to cope with the horrors of the crundles, the mushrooms are much more fiborous and as a result one could live in one, were it big enough.

What evil elf magic transpires to change the trees into giant monsters?  How do we stop it?

[Jellycat12]

The way we stop everything.

How can elves be so annoying?

[martinuzz]

Because you forgot to kill them.

Why does a dwarf not wake up when being dragged to a cell for a hammering?

[Xob Ludosmbax]

You wouldn't wake up either if you had just managed to fall sleep after being awake for three months straight. 

Why doesn't the fortress's leader (expedition leader, mayor, whatever) stop for a minute so that the outpost liaison can talk?  If someone is following you around for months, it should be painfully obvious that they have something they would like to discuss.