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[gunpowdertea]

Now I repeat: Why can Gobbo McSuperBowman win in a range fight running around in an open field, when Urist McAwesomeXbow x8 is behind fortifications 3z levels up? Boom headshot x8 without taking damage how?

The Dwarves like to taunt the Gobbos: "You duffy Gobbish k-niggits! I fart in your general direction! I wave my private parts at your auntie! I ... aaargh!"
It's their own bloody fault, really.

Why enjoy Dwarves seeing animals and their kin starve in cages? (Why do they not feed them?)

[Zanzetkuken The Great]

They believe that death is an art that must be seen to completion, or the cages are built so that they cannot be seen inside of.

Why does magma not melt the soil, going all the way down to magma-safe rock?

[Cassandra]

Because Armok built the world with dwarf-beard fibres in the soil.

How can I have a 'coating' of magma on my body, and not actually die?

[Eric Blank]

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

They believe that death is an art that must be seen to completion, or the cages are built so that they cannot be seen inside of.

Why does magma not melt the soil, going all the way down to magma-safe rock?

Because as the magma heats up it's surroundings, it loses heat and cools. The material it contacts would not be completely melted. "Contact metamorphism" produced where a dike or pluton of magma runs through/contacts a material can be very interesting, geologically speaking, but as far as I've been taught it is rarely widespread throughout the materials contacting the magma. If you just dumped magma across the surface, it would cool long before it really melts into the bedrock below, or even through the soil. This is why Hawaii doesn't just plummet to the center of the earth as all that lovely mafic lava pours out across the surface, and DF respects this to an extent, although it can't yet simulate the metamorphism that may occur in materials contacting the magma flow for extended periods (or magma cooling in layers and forming new terrain.)

...Because DF isn't THAT good with the concept of heat exchange. But it may melt the fat eventually. Or you're just fire-proof anyway.

So, why in Armok's name does Urist McSimpleton think it's a good idea to walk into a channel he just made that is filling with water? Why do they always instafreeze/drown themselves/get washed off a cliff to their doom? What the hell, Urist?

[GoombaGeek]

Dwarves cannot see water until they come into direct contact with it. Natural selection has made sure they can recognize that a long trench filled with floating carp isn't safe to cross, but they refuse to believe that such things as waterfalls or water flow exist. And if it's an artificial channel, there is no way they can see if water is filling it or not. Magma is prized by the dwarves because they can see it.

My question is this:

o_o

[misko27]

Perhaps raised by elves?

Why can merchants automatically know whether traps are blocking the entrance for wagons? Or whether it is accessible to wagons at all? Or even whether its accessible at all ever?

[Megaman3321]

Spores.

How does a dwarf produce spores, anyway?

[Joben]

I think Goombageeks question has a one word answer: werebeast.

[hops]

Why do Masterwork Elves whine about deforestation when their pets burned up the forest and pissed off the dwarves for ruining their resources?

[birdy51]

Because they are both hypocrites and tyrants, only worthy being of being dipped in molten lava.

Just how do Dwarves go months at a time without food, water, or rest?

[Xob Ludosmbax]

As always, it's the beard.  When a dwarf is eating or drinking, most of the food and drink gets dropped into the beard.  Then, when the dwarf becomes hungry or thirsty, the dwarf will pull alcohol preserved crumbs from their beard.  This is also the reason that dwarves detest water, as it does not preserve the stored food.  As for sleep, they're manic depressive, it goes with the territory. 

How does a screw pump clean and desalinate water?

[Cassandra]

Screw pumps have DORFBEARD™ filtering systems, of course.

Why will a kobold ignore the priceless artifact in the same freaking room... To steal a worn sock?

[Maestro Ugo]

Because they steel for fun - not to make material gain.

Why do dwarves never defecate?

[gbrngfol]

Do you know how much FPS it would require per dwarf? Armok made all creatures have no waste material so that we do not have to endure the FPM.

Why do Steel Coated War Rabbits still get ripped apart by teeth when their skin is too hard for teeth to puncture?

[vadia]

Shh Teeth are made of Candy.

Why do lungfish fly?