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Author Topic: Could someone explain... The thread where we muse over what causes certain wtfs.  (Read 474440 times)

Tersr

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I've seen maps that had more cotton candy then microline, but it's mainly dwarfs have yet to find a use for microline and other rocks.

Why would something that feels no pain survive?
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Shooting something made of a semi hard metal with no organs is a fucking stupid idea anyway.

jaxy15

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They DO feel pain, but in the form of nudging.

Would a dwarf without a beard be completely powerless?
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Dwarf Fortress: Threats of metabolism.

Sscral

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No, it would still be able to carve things out of wood, make rope reed clothes, capture animals and load them into a wagon, and drink sunshine...

Why don't elves skip the whole 'Beat them with a pokey stick!' part of fighting and just bite everyone to death since they're going to eat them anyway?
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A three year old just made an artifact doll from the skull of his dead kitten. I can only assume the mind control lasted past death.
"Look, mommy!  Now I can play with Mister Fluffles forever!"

Ipwnurmom221

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Elfs invented swiss cheese (gasp). Elves also invented swiss meat, which is remarkably similar. This is where swiss meat comes from.

How did Cacame come to be, completely ignoring the elven suck-gene?
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"I haven't seen my parents in nearly a year, I can't move a foot in any direction, I spend all my days being attacked by animals, and I've been forced to drink sheep puke- wow that's a nice floor grate!"

Tersr

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The gene is rather easy to change into the dwarf gene, he just noticed how elves sucked and "became" a dwarf.

Why do elves sell what they kill to protect?
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Shooting something made of a semi hard metal with no organs is a fucking stupid idea anyway.

Sscral

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They are defending their legitimate economic concerns from the dwarf commies.

Why do elves suck so much? By natural selection of their having gigantic populations that subsequently get killed off to a very small number.. over... and over... and over again, leaving the strongest/smartest/least elfy alive.

Shouldn't they be supermutants?
Logged
A three year old just made an artifact doll from the skull of his dead kitten. I can only assume the mind control lasted past death.
"Look, mommy!  Now I can play with Mister Fluffles forever!"

Tersr

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A Smart/Strong elf, what are you, high an elf?

Why can't dwarfs use beards as weapons? They can cut through stone, or so the dwarfs say.
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Shooting something made of a semi hard metal with no organs is a fucking stupid idea anyway.

Theifofdreams

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If the beards were used as a weapon, it would expose the normally thickly protected beard-heart to their enemies.

What would happen if elfs managed to grow dwarf beards?

thor82

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Something strange happened today:
i did not have sieges for the first 8-10 years of the game.

the moment that i added the "train wardogs" task to the kennels... i've been put under siege.

obviously i absolutely didn't have ANYTHING to protect me.
is this normal?
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jaxy15

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If the beards were used as a weapon, it would expose the normally thickly protected beard-heart to their enemies.

What would happen if elfs managed to grow dwarf beards?
Dwarves would convince them to cut down trees and mine rocks.

Why aren't whales considered megabeasts, though they are big as a roc?
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Dwarf Fortress: Threats of metabolism.

Tersr

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They may be as big as a roc, but they are only as strong as a rock.

Why can't dwarfs wear, above all else, large socks?
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Shooting something made of a semi hard metal with no organs is a fucking stupid idea anyway.

MaximumZero

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They may be as big as a roc, but they are only as strong as a rock.

Why can't dwarfs wear, above all else, large socks?

The toes get bunched up, and that's just plain uncomfortable.

Why can't you put booze in rock jugs?
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Holy crap, why did I not start watching One Punch Man earlier? This is the best thing.
probably figured an autobiography wouldn't be interesting

Eddren

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Because Jugs are for milk, and that would just be unsanitary.

Why do Dwarves lower themselves to using wooden weapons?
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Ah, my dwarven heart beats with fierce pride for this.  I can't take it anymore!  I have to go do something profound.

acetech09

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Cause if dwarves trained with real weapons they'd be getting blood all over the barracks, which, as we all know, would stink up the place... ever since the universal beard guild is running a strike on scrubbing mud, blood, and vomit off of underground surfaces.

Or if using them against enemies, their beard activates its deep-rooted survival instincts, ignoring the dignity of a weapon and insisting on self-preservation. I once saw a dwarf, that when cornered by some goblins, grabbed a spear with 'ELVES RULE' on the side of it and punched holes in both of the goblins heads... true story. The dwarf then proceeded to go insane.


Why do screw pumps suck water nearly infinitely fast?
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I challenge you to a game of 'Hide the Sausage', to the death.

MaximumZero

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Because when a dwarf works, s/he works.

Why are +prepared dog lung roasts+ so damned tasty?
Logged
  
Holy crap, why did I not start watching One Punch Man earlier? This is the best thing.
probably figured an autobiography wouldn't be interesting
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