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[pisskop]

Well to be fair, an asexual ball of plasma cannot, in fact, fuck.  And Urist thinks he'll end upwith a bitchin tan.

Why aren't dwarfs capable of autonomy?

[misko27]

Because if they were, they would wipe themselves out.

Why do you recieve no help from any dwarven armies, And its just you on your own, but in world-gen, They are responsible for all battles?

[Mr S]

Because that would require diplomacy.  And we all know dwarven !!Diplomacy!! tends to end badly for the guest speakers.

Why can't we just give the useless mini-sponges children Dwarven Root Beer, and save the real booze for Urists who work (sometimes) for a living?

[Sus]

What is this "root beer" of which you speak?
Besides, a growing child needs his booze. Otherwise, he'll end up with an over-developed brain, and that will end ...badly.

Fucking mechanisms, how do they work?

[Zanzetkuken The Great]

What is this "root beer" of which you speak?
Besides, a growing child needs his booze. Otherwise, he'll end up with an over-developed brain, and that will end ...badly.

Fucking mechanisms, how do they work?

Slipspace shortens the distance.

Why do dwarves never pick up their weapons?

[xoseph]

Slipspace shortens the distance.

Why do dwarves never pick up their weapons?
[/quote]

They're thinking about what they are going to do when they're on break.

Where is this circus everyone keeps talking about?  Is it some kind of elvish thing?

[misko27]

ohh, yay! The circus is a special place full of Clowns! To find it, Follow the trails of Candy! Many forts go to the circus, and have lots of fun! And candy!

More seriously, It is the nickname for the special place at the bottom of veins of

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Adamantine, The Blue metal

Its a very special place with special properties, which is why we use the nick-name instead of the actual name, it'd ruin the surprise.

Why do Necros attack forts regardless of size? Its so weird that they will attack a band of 7 dwarves who just showed up as often as a heavily guarded fort of 200.

[Tersr]

THey don't care, a dead body is a dead body.

Why doesn't fire seal open wounds?

[Sus]

Because Dorf Physics. In Dwarfiverse, quite unlike our world, fire in fact inflicts open wounds. How that works is anybody's guess.

If dragons aren't immune to dragonfire, how can they breathe it out in the first place?

[FlickerFly]

The dragons breathe out a gas which gets lit on dragonfire when it contacts open air.

How do dwarves catch so many fish without equipment?

[Sus]

Prehensile beard and/or trout tickling.

Why don't foreign (human, elf etc.) merchants ever ask what you require of them?

[FlickerFly]

They visit a lot of towns & forts throughout the year, it would be a pain to keep track of them all.

Why don't ice constructions melt?

[Darkgamma]

They visit a lot of towns & forts throughout the year, it would be a pain to keep track of them all.

Why don't ice constructions melt?

When things get constructed out of ice, they enter a quantum state where temperature is off for FPS reasons (all that quantum stuff's really CPU-intensive, y'know)

Why does an elf merchant drown himself inside a lake just to bring me an ambush of fifty tree-hoppers?

[gunpowdertea]

Why does an elf merchant drown himself inside a lake just to bring me an ambush of fifty tree-hoppers?

He was trying to save you the work of constructing a drowning trap to start a war with the tree buggers.

Do Dwarven workers / unions / fortresses ever get an ISO 9001 certification? After all, the bookkeeper and manager definitely know exactly what's going on and seem to write it down.

[Xob Ludosmbax]

They tried, but after the fifth auditor died of magma poisoning due to a mislabeled lever, they can't seem to find anyone willing to do the certifying. 

Why do dwarves use cotton candy sutures?