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[Blizzlord]

Because they have a firm belief that every intelligent creature has been tainted by elfkind. Nobody wants to eat anything tainted by elven blood.
It is the pointy ears I says!
How come dwarves haven't killed anything by using water pressure itself? Their pumps seem like they pack a punch, but I see no goblin mush on the walls.

[pisskop]

No hose or nozzle.  But yea, the pumps are strong enough to wash Urist Mcdropout, pump operation into the river to drown...

Why haven't shurukens been invented by elves?  or at least they chuck rocks?

[Flying Fortress]

it's ‼Super Happy Tantrum Time‼

May I sig that?

Why haven't shurukens been invented by elves?  or at least they chuck rocks?

Because anything as awesome as throwing cannot be comprehended by elves.

How do goblins know there is an entrance to my fort around the mountain, over the river, and through the woods; yet they can't figure out how to see/avoid the hallway full of 500 serrated disks?

[Sus]

it's ‼Super Happy Tantrum Time‼

May I sig that?

Of course.

[GreatWyrmGold]

Flying Fortress: I assume dwarves hide their traps. After the fist dies, machoism takes over until panic does. Either that, or "We're already here, so we might as well keep going down this tunnel. Besides, how many more traps could there bAUGH MY SPLEEN!

Why do goblins keep attacking dwarves?

[GoombaGeek]

Why do dwarves have beards? It is a rhetorical question.

Why do human traders accept so many figurines even when they're at war with the elves and should have higher priorities?

[crazysheep]

Because they use the figurines to dump on elven heads.

Why do dwarves have beards?

[MaximumZero]

They don't. A dwarf is merely a vessel for the beard to consume alcohol.

Why can you make picks out of copper and silver, but not tin?

[GoombaGeek]

They don't. A dwarf is merely a vessel for the beard to consume alcohol.

Why can you make picks out of copper and silver, but not tin?

Are you kidding? Tin is bendy and melts at a really low temperature (stovetop, even). Dwarves probably think it's below them. Besides, they probably used up all the tin making bronze and casting crap.

I think dwarves should be able to "convert graphite to diamonds" at a screw press with over 10,000 power attached to it. Do u liek mai aweshum sugestin?/??!!!1!

[Sus]

Um, no. Synthetic diamonds do not work that way. [/assburger]

Who picks the embark location in-game, and why does (s)he hate dwarves so? Or are the dorfs just too stupid/navigation-challenged to manage an embark on actually survivable terrain 90% of the time, landing in the ass end of a terrifying glacier instead?

[vadia]

Um, no. Synthetic diamonds do not work that way. [/assburger]

Who picks the embark location in-game, and why does (s)he hate dwarves so? Or are the dorfs just too stupid/navigation-challenged to manage an embark on actually survivable terrain 90% of the time, landing in the ass end of a terrifying glacier instead?

Elf guides who have interesting things to fill their pipes with.

Why did the elf liasons stop coming?

[Komra]

The elven government decided that ambassadors were really only a liability. Their tree-preservation agreements often just led to overseers being reminded of dwarven hatred for trees. Ever since killing the official became a standard method of declaring war, application has been low anyway.

Why do huge numbers of migrants always show up in year 1? It's not as if there's much of a life awaiting them.

[misko27]

They want to get to the fort now, when its small and pitiful, istead of after the overseer has set-up a migrant disposal area.

How do dwarves embark on a unpoppulated island that no one has ever been to, and should not know even exists?

[tahujdt]

They discover it with their Dwarven Beardsense™, and then they pour magma over the sea until such time as there is a useable bridge. The gobboes, hippies and humies can't detect it for the same reason that they can't detect traps. If they can't make a useable bridge, then they just pour water onto the ocean for the HFS of it.

Why hasn't my school network blocked Bay12 Forums?

[GoombaGeek]

They discover it with their Dwarven Beardsense™, and then they pour magma over the sea until such time as there is a useable bridge. The gobboes, hippies and humies can't detect it for the same reason that they can't detect traps. If they can't make a useable bridge, then they just pour water onto the ocean for the HFS of it.

Why hasn't my school network blocked Bay12 Forums?

Because we're so educational.

Why am I wasting my third spare ever on these forums?!