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[pisskop]

Their thick hair protects them, and all dwarfs are mandated to see monty python productions.

Why did my axedwarf refuse to grab his axe when he was drafted?  He said, no axe, anaconda is there, but the anaconda was the creature I sent it to kill!

[Blizzlord]

Maybe he thought that the anaconda was too immediate of a threat and decided to try and kill it before grabbing the axe was a good idea.

How come blood clones itself when you dump it in the cistern?

[Monk321654]

This is a side-effect of dwarven animal training (hit animal with hammer until it forgets that it hates you, then lovingly cuddle it).

I must sig this.

[Komra]

Contaminants are present in fluid on a strict there/not there basis. As long as a single ATOM of blood or other contaminant is still present, the extremely sensitive creatures of Armok's worlds can detect it. The Great Blood God would not have His greatest creation be forgotten, after all.

Why does the world have a temperature and border control on/off switch set?

[Iosyn]

Because if the elves don't turn on border control they get wiped out in worldgen from dwarven invasion-- and armok creates glaciers by turning off the sun.

Why doesn't Urist McEmo go lie down on the minecart rails?

[Joben]

He like the sound you can hear when you put your ear on the rail.

Why is my Legendary Macedwarf using a copper spear when given her choice of melee weapon?

[Corai]

She likes to try new things.

Why are humans so violent compared to dwarves?

[GoombaGeek]

Humans kill some things because they are angry. Dwarves build things to kill everything because they are very angry.

If instruments can't be used by anyone at all, why are they bought so freely?

[pisskop]

The instruments secretly have narcotics in them...

Why are the no boogeymen in fortress, even in one dwarf challanges?

[Wrex]

The Bogeymen know why the fear the cheese.


Why are kobolds so reiduclously effective at disembowling random dwarves?

[Corai]

Because me.

Why do humans prefer hunting over helping you fight bandits?

[Xantalos]

Because if the elves don't turn on border control they get wiped out in worldgen from dwarven invasion-- and armok creates glaciers by turning off the sun.

Why doesn't Urist McEmo go lie down on the minecart rails?

Armok is Terry Crews? DOUBLE SUN POWEEEEEER!

[Sus]

You can't eat bandits now can you?

Why do miners enjoy trapping themselves in a pit?

[Blizzlord]

Because they are desperate for attention, and getting stuck and needing help is the easiest way to get attention.

Why haven't dwarves invented magnets?

[Sus]

Because that involves going into the Insane Clown Posse territory, so for dorfs that want to stay alive, it's a no-no.

How do forgotten beasts and titans made of steam or fire even make it through worldgen, given a baby can punch them to smithereens?