You may be a fighter, but your mom wants you out with more energy than you have to stay in. You will find that anything of value in life is worth fighting for. This fight ends in a draw -- you are evicted, but your mom is pooped.
That bitch!
Soon you meet her and snuggle up nice and close. All is forgiven -- for now. Get ready to be born in a flurry of waving arms, screams, and a slap on the bottom.
Maybe I spoke too soon...
Happy Birthday, and welcome to the world. From now on, life will begin to change rapidly. You will have to learn to accept responsibility, build up your resources, and manage yourself physically and emotionally.
The events that transpire over the course of the next few days include:
Your mother is proud when someone points at you and tells her you look just like a "little porcelain angel."
So I look lifeless and manufactured? Thanks, mum.
Your father buys you a baseball bat and glove for you to use in "a year or so," when you get older.
You develop a mild respiratory infection that causes some concern, but no later problems.
Before we get properly started, let's begin with a few questions to establish your personality.
1) I will probably try to answer these questions honestly.
True False
2) The people who know me best like me as a person.
True False
3) When I am ill I become short-tempered and snap at people.
True False
4) I am likely to speak whatever comes to mind.
True False
5) An important part of every job is knowing whom to impress.
True False
6) I think that questions like this are stupid and meaningless.
True False
