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[Sensei]

Remember- post your first action even if you're starting your character.

Note: Edited OP to make that clearer.

[Krath]

GO CRAZY AND STEALTH SLICE SOMEONE'S HEAD OFF

[Yoink]

NAME: I AM KROBLAG
GENDER: I WEAR A LOINCLOTH TO COVER MY MAN-BITS
SKILL: SWORD-ing THINGS
ITEM: REALLY BIG SWORD. HAS SOME FAIRLY FRESH BLOOD AND BRAIN MATTER ON.
BIO: KROBLAG IS CURSED TO WANDER THE EARTH ENDLESSLY, SEARCHING FOR SOMEONE WHO CAN'T MATCH HIS SKILL AT ARMS, AND THEN CUTTING THEIR HEAD OFF, AND REPEATING. HE HAS BEEN THROUGH THAT CYCLE MAAAANY TIMES, DUDE.
ACTION: LOOK AROUND BRIEFLY, AND THEN FLEX BARBARIAN MUSCLES, CAUSING SHOCKWAVES THROUGH THIS STRANGE STONE BUILDING.

[IronyOwl]

Rappel out the side of the building using my chain and claws.

[Imakuni]

ACTION: LOOK AROUND BRIEFLY, AND THEN FLEX BARBARIAN MUSCLES, CAUSING SHOCKWAVES THROUGH THIS STRANGE STONE BUILDING.

If you cause this building to collapse on all of us, I swear...

[Tarran]

It's not like me to sign up for such silly crud as this, but WHATEVER, I'M JOINING ANYWAY.

NAME: TARREN THE EVIL TWIN OF TARRAN
GENDER: MALE
SKILL: HAMMERMAN: BONUS TO USING STATUETTE
ITEM: A PLATINUM STATUETTE OF THE EARTH. ON ETERNAL FIRE.
A BACKGROUND. YOU EXPECT A BACKGROUND IN A GAME LIKE THIS? YOU CRAZY.

SMACK SOMEONE'S HEAD OFF WITH MY STATUETTE. (any person but me is a perfectly good target. Roll a dice or just have me target a player you hate, I don't care.)

If you cause this building to collapse on all of us, I swear...

I swear that if you swear I'll smack you so hard with this statuette that your head will be usable as a ping-pong ball.

Because I can.

No I am not being serious at all in this post. Read this post in a non-serious, shouting voice.

[Imakuni]

I swear that if you do that I will force bolt your head off and then polymorph it into a literal ping pong ball.

[Tarran]

If you do that, prepare for the inevitable full-sized earth--that is also on fire--to smash into you at light speed.

[Ochita]

Insanity inducing dance party move go.

[Sensei]

Oh god, so many posts! And many of them even sillier than I intended (I guess I should have given you guys better leads for motivation, but I don't mind you all attacking each other).

Toaster

Exit the building while defending myself from attackers.

(1) You hop up on your pogo stick. You don't hop nearly fast enough and are hit by a magic Force Bolt in mid air. You're knocked clear off your pogo stick and fall out of the parking garage. Then someone ELSE falls on you, killing you. YOU ARE DEAD. It's okay, a car falls on them and kills them too.

Joe(Nirur Torir)

I grab the report and obliviously walk out of the building while trying to figure out where Mary went.

(4) It was pretty good timing. Some chunks of garage fall down right behind you. However, your vision is poor- you can only see that you've come onto a street corner by a four-way intersection, bordered all around by two or three story buildings. You feel a little celestial.

OCHITAAAAAAA

(1+1) You get down groovy! Before you can sufficiently drive anybody nuts, rubble falls on you, injuring your legs and causing you to be trapped. Which is bad. Fun fact: I wrote a turn in which you died, but your ninja action just barely saved your life with a +1.

War (Imakuni)

Cast force bolt at Killroy

(6) You hit Killroy and someone else, and knock out a support on the parking garage. It is starting to collapse! You feel a little celestial.

Killroy (jc6036)

Hold my left eye and scream in agony, all the while kicking my victim to death. Pick up my club after the slaughter.

(3) You do a pretty convincing act of being agonized and vicious at the same time. While you remove a lot of blood from your victim, you're also bleeding out of your eye socket profusely- you're starting to feel woozy! A force bolt hits you and knocks you down. You feel a little celestial.

Raptor McNinja (Krath)

Go crazy and slice someone's head off!

(4) You pull out your katana and give a good chop to someone lying on the ground. It looks like they were getting mugged. Well, you'd hate to leave a job half finished! You feel a little celestial.

KROBLAG (Yoink)

ACTION: LOOK AROUND BRIEFLY, AND THEN FLEX BARBARIAN MUSCLES, CAUSING SHOCKWAVES THROUGH THIS STRANGE STONE BUILDING.

(6) Against all better judgment, you do that. The roof will cave in any moment.

SHARAX THE HUNGERING (IronyOwl)

Rappel out the side of the building using my chain and claws

(1) You start to climb out, but a pogo stick hits you and you fall. You luck up at the sky, glad you're not dead... then there's a shockwave. The entire parking garage lists and a car falls off. You are not glad any more. YOU ARE DEAD.

TARREN THE EVIL TWIN OF TARRAN

SMACK SOMEONE'S HEAD OFF WITH MY STATUETTE.

(6) You smack the statuette's head off. Poor statuette. YOUR STATUETTE IS DEAD.

WARNING! THE PARKING GARAGE IS COLLAPSING.

Survivors:
Joe (2, lost glasses), War (2), Killroy (2, no left eye, bleeding) Raptor McNinja (2), Kroblag (1), Ochita (1, trapped in rubble)

Deaths:
Toaster (Force Bolt-Induced Pogo Accident), Sharax (Pogo Accident Induced Rappelling Accident), Tarren's Statuette (Smacked)

[Tarran]

Moonwalk out of the parking garage. While crying over the death of my statuette.

[jc6036]

use the pile of bodies at the bottom of the garage as a cushion, and jump out of the garage,  When Im there, rip off my shirt and use it as a bandage.

[IronyOwl]

Cackles the Mad
Skill: +1 to jumping
Item: Rocket Launcher
Cackles is a clown demon. That's not a euphemism- he looks like some sort of clown or jester, with a pogo stick for a lower half. He enjoys juggling, laughter, and the wanton slaughter of his terrified victims.

Head on over to the tallest building I can find.

[Imakuni]

Teleport away.

[Nirur Torir]

I think I'm only be a few blocks from the office. Mary should still be working; I just need to get this report to her and I'll get to keep my job! I sure hope I hand her the correct one. It's hard to tell the difference without my glasses.