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[Charismatic]

This is the In-Character thread for Slaughtersprayed, which has been created after an unfortunate series of events:

1. I made the original post about two days before making the transition to a new computer.
2. I left everyone hanging for a long time due to laziness and ckuttered schedule.
3. When I finally did post a save, it had a couple irregularities that ruined compatibility.
4. I "fixed" the problem by replacing the offending .txt file with the one from the actual raws- which also had the irregularities.

Turn should be up today, hopefully covering up to Autumn.

[Charismatic]

Journal of Charismatic the Great, Founder of Slaughtersprayed
1st Granite,1051

   Today we arrived at the place that would have the honor of hosting the great fortress of Slaughtersprayed. Admittedly, it didn't look like much, but that was soon to change.

I ordered Master, our party miner, to dig out a small area for us to live in. It doesn't look like much, but it will work until we can get some proper quarters going. The big room on the end is for me, of course.


Meanwhile, I've sent Conan, the only dwarf with an axe, to cut down several trees. He looked perplexed. "Won't that disturb the elves?" he asked, axe slung over his shoulder.    "Precisely," I said, sending him on his way with a pat on the shoulder. The smile on my face was almost demonic. "Precisely."

16th Granite,1051

Praise be to the Miners!



28th Felsite

   As I write this, it has turned to summer. Meanwhile, some migrants have arrived: A Soapmaker and a Weaponsmith. Meanwhile, our food reserves have run dry, for reasons I cannot fathom. Oh well, more plant gathering for me.

7th Galena

   I have found why everyone was inexplicably starving- No farm plots were built and the greedy bastards had already eaten all the seeds. I immediately rectified the problem and now everyone is eating again, except for BodyGripper, who is trying to hunt vermin at a faster rate than Drifter's two cats. I swear to Zustash, if Drifter turns out like Lur (was that her name?) from Headshoots he will be taken onto the archery range and used for target practice.
[OOC: Yeah. I kind of fucked up and let the game run unpaused while I played some Quake Live. It's good the game pauses when migrants arrive,or the fortress would already be boned.]
   The bedrooms are all constructed, the migrants are settling in, and Adil is being kind enough to plant seeds in the farm for me. After all, his metalsmithing won't matter for a while, and I really need to tally the beer-to-plump-helmet comsumption ratio of the average dwarf, to determine the maximum yield of crops per square Urist...
...Aaand that's up to Autumn. We have some seeds and fruits gathered from the top of the large plateau I dug into, yet BodyGripper's dwarf still hunts vermin. Also, I'm doing a little experiment. I'm seeing if, by assigning a male and a female dwarf to side-by-side beds in the same room, I can make them fall in love and get married. Finally, three dwarfs are up for dorfage.

[The Master]

"Sir! I'm just worried, are we running low on food? I'm starving, and if I don't get fed soon, I'll just have to settle for eating YOU. Also, I WANT BEER!!!!!!! WE'RE LOW?! I HATE THIS PLACE! THIS PLACE SUCKS!!! WAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!"

The Master is throwing a tantrum!

[RabidAnubis]

From the journal of RabidAnubis, AD 1051.

Fools of us!  Why did we elect him as leader?! 

Sorry, let me explain to you the situation Allas (Give , as you know.  I am certain you will be judging some of us soon, maybe even me!  You know the situation is bad if you can kill me! 

So, when we left we thought that soon we would have nice dwellings in the earth.

YOU WANNA KNOW WHAT?  The bastard leader gave us small rooms, and gave himself one that was at least fie times as big!  Selfish bitch!  Doesn't he know how to treat a lady? (At least that is my current form) 

Luckily, a few months ago we struck very valuable metals.  We got two immigrants (Idiots, just like us)  We were starving for several months until Charismatic finally noticed that we were STARVING!  Then he's like, "Let us plant a few fields" and I was like, "NO SHIT!"  We were lucky he noticed!  Probably because he wasn't getting one of his fucking large meals!

Either way, I've set up traps lately, and they are magnificent!  I love messing with those!  I hope he assigns me to make more!  Tables, thrones, and doors are boring!  No ingenuty required!  It's the Same old same old, but to know I'm helping the military is something different, benefiting our survival and not our comforts.  I don't need comforts now, I've been sleeping on the grass for a whole season and half of that was IN THE RAIN!  BAGHHHH!!!!!!

[Reverie]

This post has been intentionally left blank.

[RabidAnubis]

Ignore.

[The Master]

                                                                                The kills of The Master
One Kill

Flandre, d. 2011

[Charismatic]

I like how you're so irate, Anubis, when your dwarf is the one who gets to sleep right next to my dwarf as part of the social experiment .

17th Limestone

Oh goody. More freaking migrants.
An Engraver, a Miller, a Craftsdwarf, and a Tanner, and about fifty more nobodies I can't be bothered to count.

In the meantime, the underground bedrooms are looking excellent.
The food stores... not so much.
I have also ordered a hospital and barracks to be dug, so that we may rest our wounded.
I have also ordered the butchers to kill all but two of our war dogs. The surviving pair will serve as breeding stock. In other news, some moron engulfed the entire fortress in miasma by leaving a half-eaten dog roast on the main stairwell. I'm fairly certain BodyGripper went off to get a roast, almost ate it, then remembered he was supposed to be hunting vermin and dropped the damn thiing.
1st Timber
We are making a small militia of marksdwarves. Their bolts are made of dog bone, their armor of dog leather, and yet they call themselves... The Frosty Diamonds. In the meantime, I have begun work on the Elfburster, a gigantic execution tower for those tree-hugging cowards.
17th Timber
Today, a caravan came. I told someone to build a caravan so we could trade with our fellow dwarves, but no one listened at first. While cursing the laziness of our dwarves, I met a strange fellow by the name of Voltaire. The records said he was a tanner, but he begged to differ. Apparently, he wants to work in mechanics.

There. That'll keep you at it.
21st Timber

Meanwhile, the Zustash-damned depot was finally built, and now some imbecile named Tulon is wasting Conan's time. The conversation went like this:
T: Hello Conan. My name is Tulon, and I'm here to discuss your-
C:OH GOD BEER
T: Um, excuse me?
C: OHGODMYTHROATHURTSGIVEMEBEERGIVEMEBEERGIVEMEBEERPLEASEOHGODMYTHROAT
T: ... I think you want beer...
C:ANDMEATDEARGODMEATIDONTKNOWHOWCHARISMATICLIVESOFFOFGREENSTUFFANDWERANOUTOFDOGSTOKILLTWOMONTHSAGOMEATMEATMEATMEATMEAT
T: ...meat...
C:ANDMETALWHYINTHENAMEOFZUSTASHS'SEVENTHLEFTTESTICLEDONTWEHAVEMETALOHGODDIDIMENTIONMYTHROATHURTS
T ...and ore. Thank you.
C:OHGODMYTHROAT
T:And we want the following objects...
C:OHARMOKWHYMUSTYOUTORTUREMESO
I'm kind of scared, because Conan is the only one with an axe and some motherdwarfing idiot forgot to pack Katana's sword. Oh well, time to get a drink... OH ARMOK THERE'S NO BOOZE AT LEAST THERE'S STILL FOOD OH ARMOK THERE'S NO FOOD AT LEAST THERE'S STILL A CARAVAN...


End of turn should be up tomorrow.

[The Master]

WHERETHEHELLISTHEGODDAMNBEERANDFOODDAMNITIWANTMOTHERELFINGBEERANDBOOZEWHYTHEHELLDIDISIGNUPFORTHISSHITAAAAAAAAAWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The Master is cancels tearing Charismatic's head off, went insane.
The Master has gone Stark Raving Mad!

[RabidAnubis]

Second Journal Page of RabidAnubis's Journal  AD 1051, 1st Limestone.

I got a transfer after all of my complaining......  Into the room of the overseer.  Most people would call this a privilege, to be in the biggest room of the fort, but I think it's because... The writing on the inside of the throne chair is getting shaky(You need to state what I am making, thank you, I would like to know what each character is making, or at least a generalization) I think he wants to.... make me marry him.  Why the hell would I marry a bastard like him?  First he doesn't give me even a REASONABLE room in the fortress, which wouldn't be an issue if he didn't have such a great one himself, and then the selfish bitch decides that because of my complaining to make me move in with him!  JESUS!  Sigh..... I guess that I should ask him why he made this move.


Bottom of the Second Journal Page Of RabidAnubis's Journal  AD 1051 18th Limestone

I asked him why.  He gave me some sort of bullshit reason that he moved me out of my own shitty room into his excellent one, "Because the new migrants needed rooms, and I think you deserve better than to sleep on the floor in one of those places, because you are a fine lady."  Thanks for the flattering, BUT NO.  I see where you are going at MR!

Further Bottom of the Journal (The leg of the stool) of RabidAnubis's Journal  AD 1051 1st Timber

I guess I caught my "LOVER" in the room, and when he left I looked over the bookkeeping records.  A few things of note.  He did write down earlier this year that the experiment was going well!  You know what his experiment was!?!!?!? PLACING PEOPLE IN THE SAME ROOM TO SEE IF THEY WOULD FALL IN LOVE!  BASTARD!  But MUCH more importantly, is that we have been running out of beer for a long time!  Oh my god.......  On a less important note we are running out of food.  SO HE DECIDED TO BUTCHER TWO POOR PUPPIES?  WHO CARES ABOUT FOOD!  THE DOGS WERE SO ADORABLE!!!!

21st Timber

Thank god we got the trading done!  Now we have Booze!

(Could I see my relationship screen?)

[BodyGripper]

(Posting so I don't forget about this thread)

[Charismatic]

Oh look, a save.

http://dffd.wimbli.com/file.php?id=4741

[BodyGripper]

Is this still going on?

[The Master]

Negative.

[Charismatic]

It should be going on... I PM'ed Conan twice, but haven't gotten any response... Don't know if anyone's still interested, honestly.