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[Kumquat]

With a severe case of eggsplosion, everything my cooks have to work with are eggs, flours, dwarf sugar and dwarf syrup, and the occasional piece of royal jelly. No cooking of anything that has any other use or can be edible raw.

So what's the result?

DWARFCAKES!

[ext0l]

A plump helmet roast made with plump helmets, plump helmets, plump helmets and more plump helmets, all of varying cuts.

MMMMM, SO REDUNDANT

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

[Fen]

My dwarves eat plump helmets and drink plump helmet wine. Mostly because I've just recently managed keeping them alive and boozed more than a couple years and have new, more important things to learn to do (like seiges). But also because I'm a lazy, lazy fort-ruler.

[Eric Blank]

Currently the few non-tallow items i can find are prickle berry bisquits.
Exceptionally minced pyreling mushroom for the bread and exceptionally minced prickle berry intrusions for a sweet and spicy snack.

There's also a well-prepared beef stew stack, featuring cow meat, cow intestines, and cow lung. Definitely better than pure voracious cave crawler fat bisquits...

and a horse cheese stew also featuring pig cheese and dwarven pig meat.

The least appatizing? Woody wyvern tallow mash. Two helpings of mushy, kinda chunky woody wyvern fat in a bowl. I HATE the taste and texture of gristle from ribs or steak IRL. This is nothing but fried fat.

There are so many masterworks though. My chefs are amazing. Just need to have tallow stored by the soapmaker's shops and forbid it as cooking ingredients...

[BodyGripper]

In my imagination, Rock Nuts are actual edible stones.

I imagine they're kinda like Grape Nuts.  In other words, I agree.

[zehive]

*looks at fort overview
*4,000 meat, 2,500 drink, 200 plant, 1800 other (cheese?)
my dorfs like meat and cheese and booze

[Urist Da Vinci]

*looks at fort overview
*4,000 meat, 2,500 drink, 200 plant, 1800 other (cheese?)
my dorfs like meat and cheese and booze

Do you buy all the meat-n-cheese fast food and cheap booze off the caravans?


Is anyone else bothered by how dwarven cooks mince everything, including liquids?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Beef_mince
Note that minced meat is known as ground meat in north america. The lazy dwarven cook tosses all of the ingredients into a blender or grinder, and then bakes/stews the results into biscuits, stew, or roasts.

[Mushroo]

Is anyone else bothered by how dwarven cooks mince everything, including liquids?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Beef_mince
Note that minced meat is known as ground meat in north america. The lazy dwarven cook tosses all of the ingredients into a blender or grinder, and then bakes/stews the results into biscuits, stew, or roasts.

Dwarfen "cooking" involves no heat, fuel, or utensils... they just chop it all up, mince it together, and eat it with their hands. Kind of like a tartar, I guess.

[Elisebambi]

if there are no utensils, what do they chop it with? Karate doesn't exist in and fort I know of. B:

[BodyGripper]

if there are no utensils, what do they chop it with? Karate doesn't exist in and fort I know of. B:

No, but biting does. 

[Nidokoenig]

Beard-Fu, their bristles are hardened by years of constant exposure to alcohol and are sharp like cheese wire.

As for food my ponies make, my forts don't tend to last much beyond the apple slices and horse meat biscuit stages.

[Forumite]

if there are no utensils, what do they chop it with? Karate doesn't exist in and fort I know of. B:

They use the same thing that they always use, their beard.

My theory is that the skill of a dwarven cook is directly related to how sharp the hair in his beard is. Legendary cooks wield a beard made from thousands of sharp spikes of hair, which they cut ingredients with.

[Pan]

Therefore males make better cooks than females.

[Urist Da Vinci]

Is anyone else bothered by how dwarven cooks mince everything, including liquids?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Beef_mince
Note that minced meat is known as ground meat in north america. The lazy dwarven cook tosses all of the ingredients into a blender or grinder, and then bakes/stews the results into biscuits, stew, or roasts.

Dwarfen "cooking" involves no heat, fuel, or utensils... they just chop it all up, mince it together, and eat it with their hands. Kind of like a tartar, I guess.

I always assumed that the kitchen stove ran on the wood cutoffs and sawdust that the carpenter's workshop generates. When you can turn an abstract tree-sized log into a door, bed, or small bucket, something has to happen to the byproducts.

Canon trumps assumptions though, and they definitely chop/blend, "cook", and eat with hands. They don't even use the goblets that they make to drink alcohol, preferring to do keg stands instead.

[Elisebambi]

:O HOLY SHIT...

I just

got...

Rhesus Pecieus