The following is found carved into a wooden bedstead.Log of Udib "ImBocaire" Aniteb, Dead Weight
So my foot got taken off by a giant badger as soon as I got to this Godforsaken place. I thought it couldn't get any worse. So imagine my surprise when I see, from my bed, that crazy cow Crazy Cow designing an intricately disguised pressure plate and hooking it up to numerous spikes!
That night, when he came in to check on my wound, I knocked him out with a headbutt, forged a note in his handwriting giving me control of the fortress, and decided to set things aright. (What? I'm crippled, doesn't mean I'm handicapped.)
First order of business: Get rid of that damned pressure plate before someone gets hurt.
Next I took stock of the fortress, and HOLY SHITNUGGETS that's a lot of meat for such a tiny fort.
Not sure all of it is palatable, though. I'm liking the regular meat, the organs are palatable, but... what? Firefly brain? Cave spider brain? Who the hell fills a barrel with meticulously cut-out insect brains? This shit's going to need to get cooked for me to even consider eating it.
Now then! Next is the most important. I'm not going to languish here forever, dammit! I need a way to move around so I can get back to work!
...is what I'd like to say, but I've got a bum hand and my back is aching and oooh, this is a comfy bed. I guess I'll just order some ore to be smelted. How much ore do we have, anyway... what? What is this shit? Medium precision? Hell naw, you get back in that office and you tell me
exactly how many pebbles we have lying around here.
Well, my preliminary planning is done. Time to relax in my comfortable bed and let the peons do their work.
OOC: This fort is actually surprisingly well put-together. I guess because so far it only reflects one person's ideas and has yet to become an unholy amalgam of ten different overseers' mutually exclusive visions. I haven't actually unpaused yet, just designated some things and saved... I'll start actually playing this evening after my physics lab is over.
EDIT: Yes, just to clarify, I dwarfed myself as the metalsmith who got mauled by giant badgers in Crazy Cow's turn.