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Hol-

-Derp

[Taricus]

Hehe, the shield cavalry was glad to see the enemy rout. What're they going to do now, ride around not dying for the cause?

[Stworca]

What was that about no pause? Is that one of the restrictions we imposed, or does Rome not have one?

A restriction i'm using since day 1 of playing RTW.
Most of the time i also toss in "General Cam", but a LP with it would fail, due to unclear screenshots that show nothing.

[Zrk2]

Is that the one that keeps it locked on your general? (Derp a herp) I seem to remember a few different setting for the camera.

[Jacob/Lee]

If you were a dwarf, Stworca, you would be a legendary military tactician 

That, or maybe I just suck...

[Kicior]

Why does AI use one unit at a time?

[Sheb]

Yeah, I really wonder what's this Briton strategy of sending one unit at a time to get slaughtered while your whole army is stending 200 m away?

[Stworca]

I believe it's because it was me who was attacking, and on the defensive AI has a low-risk strategy. I didn't know They would go berserk on my peasants though.

It wasn't a "hey, look, an awesome battle" video, it was the first one, a test - so to speak - to see how it turns out and whether them viewers want moar or not.
Any further combat videos will be cut down to action-only.. with la musica!

[Sheb]

Great. When can we hope for another awesome update?

[Stworca]

Great. When can we hope for another awesome update?

I just woke up, mind you! Let me... umm.. no, there is nothing i need to do.. I'll get to ze playing right away. 

[Sheb]

You know that I love you?

[Zrk2]

No hurry, I'm gonna be away for weeks on end.

[NRDL]

Wow this is a nice LP...any chance of me getting a reservation for a general? 

[Stworca]

Spoiler: Ambushing (click to show/hide)

Just to be sure, that everyone who wanted to see it, has seen it : Siege of Lugdunum video.

Let's see how does the enemy army fare after siege of Lugdunum..


Not very impressive.
At any rate, our eastern-choke-point-army is going for another ambush. This time the enemy was prepared though.. and this time, they have swordsmen! Swordsmen are better than warbands in every way. Morale, attack, defense, you name it. They are better than our Scutarii (which we can not produce yet..) and they are still mid-tier unit for Gaul.. Yes, Spain units are crap.


Yet..


We have lost "only" a 100 people, but at the same time it's a crushing blow. There are no reinforcements coming, not yet.


In unrelated news : Numidia is trying to break the siege of Dimmidi. How will their all-ranged armies fare against us?


They will get slaughtered naturally, giving us the town without having to break the walls. Yay!


It's finally OUR turn, and there is a piece of good news involved. I'll let you find it, viewer. You have 5 seconds.


Also, the hounds + fanatics + cav reinforcements have merged with the "Island-Hoping" Caralis army, and we now have a free full stack! YAY! Isn't it a beauty?


We're doing so well, that we help them Romans some more. Not that They don't have 13 full stacks total already..


What is this.. Two enemy generals, army-less?!


Let's put our small force to use, before merging it with the Lugdunum army.


Obviously, we're going for warcry + javelins + cavalry on the flank..


..Which WORKS perfectly..


..unlike that god damn Axe deodorant. Women still pepper spray the hell out of me..


..Some carry tazzer guns too.. Which They use AFTER spraying me, and before a running kick to the balls... What is this.. Frenchmen are running away!?


..i probably shouldn't hit on female MMA fighters anymore..


Then again, head scissors are kinky!


..Except the times where they end in a leg throw..


..But i digress, and.. what are you doing, viewer?! NO! Go to the bathroom, or something!
Our general-hunt was a disaster, as both of them got away.. But we merge with Lugdunum army, and now have quite a force.


Time to end the turn..

Spoiler: Ambushey Ambush (click to show/hide)

ANOTHER Gaul strike force? Quite a decent army. Unfortunately for them our ambush was a success, and..


..We have an enormous positioning advantage. We can see them before the battle!


And position ourselves accordingly. (that was quite a difficult word. Naturally i mean "and")


The battle begins.. and the Frenchmen are knee deep in shit. One of their flanks anyway..


All our infantry uses warcry, and... Look at this, we managed to tag their general!


..and look! He now faces nearly all of our infantry at once!


..what is this? Our cavalry is charging in?!


Enemy general was a FOOL! ..it feels so good, saying this!


Needless to say, the death of their general + 6 charging cav units + all of our infantry having warcry and extremely boosted morale =.. What? No! The answer is NOT 17.


Still, we've lost ANOTHER 300 men.. We'll have to pull back.


Another turn! Numidia is down to one province, Carthage down to 2, Egypt must be advancing quite quickly. Why am i talking about Africa? Because we have quite a jewel there. Carthage itself : We can build our entire roster there.


Starting from upper-left corner, we have.. Crap, Crap, Crap, Crap, Crap, Crap, Naked Fanatics (good offensively, TERRIBLE defensively), Scutarii (Our best defensive unit.. WHich is on par with Hastati, the worst Roman infantry) and wardogs.. (they.. what.. no)

And in the second line, we have.. The very worst end-tier cavalry and our single good unit (Long shield will get slaughtered by ANY high level cavalry from ANY other faction. Except Greece, who don't have end-tier cavalry) : Bull Warriors. Who happen to cost 1200 gold per unit...
And the worse line of ships, that still allow us to dominate the seas (I have naval superiority around Britain too, because i CAN)

Now, all thi.. what the hell is going on here!?!? I went ahead and checked.. Greece is actually down to two provinces, so it's not an invasion on Rome.


Interesting nonetheless.

Spoiler: Ambushers Ambushed! (click to show/hide)

On far northern frontier, we set up another ambush, to hopefully tie up any Britain reinforcements.


We're pulling back from Northern Italy, we'll be back in a few turns. But something doesn't seem right..


Our generals : Inteuniso (The Roman dude without a helmet), BPie (The not Roman Dude) and Barbarossa (The Holy Roman Emper-- the helmet wearing dude). are ambushed by unwashed Romans! INCOMPETENT TROGGS! Thankfully, the Romans didn't pull off the ambush, and we have a chance to position ourselves..


(also, notice the two crossed swords. That's right, we already had two Historic Battles in this place)


Notice our hidden cavalry on both flanks. Notice that our infantry is visible only because they used Warcry just now.


Notice that a hidden cav charge + warcry infantry blob is very effective.


Notice the horse on the right side, staring into your soul.


Find Wally : Roman Edition. Find the last Roman Soldier on the field. (not very hard, because i forgot to disable flags)


Two things need to be said :
- The enemy general was a fool!
and..
- This loss wasn't even a drop in the Roman bucket.


Now this army will finally pull back, and be replaced by our newly assembled Cirta + Hounds stack (you've seen it a few pictures ago)


Romans need all the help They can get, so from now on we're having their cities Cheat buildings in. (Z is my screenshot capture button.. ignore it)


Just because i'm a dick, we'll end this update with a cliffhanger. Stay tuned for MORE Spain Total War!

[Kicior]

Are wardogs better than peasants?

[Akigagak]

Are wardogs better than peasants?

Pigs that are on fire are better at fighting than peasants.