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Hol-

-Derp

[Stworca]

The recording took place before my post was written, thus it's already resolved.

I've decided to go with a long video, and leave the slight choppiness, because cutting every frame drop out would mean cutting out the important parts too. I'll toss some decent music to ease the pain. It's compressing as i read this, now i just need to edit music in and upload.

[EmperorNuthulu]

I'm just going to assume you outflanked, killed them all and lost zero men then.

[shadenight123]

you ran to the bottom of the hill, and every time they moved down you left behind you spear walls, right? :3

[Stworca]

Spoiler: Uphill (click to show/hide)

Their general has "Balance of forces is evenly matched" when fighting our entire army.
Our cav gets demolished by Romans
They try to surround us and javelin to death.

Even our Bull Warriors break at one point. When units with "Excellent Morale" rout, you know things have reached the gates of hell.

We keep swinging, as we go down. No matter how bad things look, we will not withdraw. Not now, not ever.

RTW : Uphill (9:04 Length)

[NRDL]

Stworca, you truly are awesome.  Not only are you a skilled military tactician, you simply just never give up.  I remember on my previous runs, whenever I'd lose ONE BATTLE it would be enough to crush my spirit and make me delete my file.  Not anymore.  I have actually decided to just roll with the punches and never stop fighting, not even when the odds are against me ( although I would very much quit if I faced the kind of threat you're facing now ).  Thank you, Stworca. 

[Akigagak]

Spoiler: Don't open unless you've watched the video all the way through. (click to show/hide)

How the fuck did you win that one? I mean, yeah they fell for the Cavalry bait again, but damn, son.

[Stworca]

@NRDL bah! You're exaggerating. The only thing one needs to do, is learn from his mistakes. When you learn from them, even defeats turn into victories, in the long run.
For example in this fight :

Spoiler: Spoiler (click to show/hide)

I should've withdrawn my cav earlier, instead of losing men against their Aux. Although their Aux could've stopped our infantry if not for the cav.. Hmm.
I also should've moved my infantry even further uphill, we'd lose somewhat less men
Lastly, i should have executed "hook" attacks with the cav. Charging from higher ground gives insane bonuses.

Now i know, and hopefully will remember that the next time.

@Akigagak

Spoiler: My mysterious response! (click to show/hide)

How should i know? I Just randomly click on stuff, and have the pattern of lights do all the work for me.

Aside from the obvious suicidal round shield charge.
Our general did a lot of the hard labor too. Together they have shattered enemy line, slowed a unit here, routed a unit there, had one chase them.. Much time has been bought, at the "cheap" cost of our entire cavalry force.
Lastly, our skirmishers formed another, last line of infantry when we needed them. Looking at the last seconds of the fight, our only remaining line too..

[Stworca]

Thanks to the last battle i'm tempted to shorten the LP to ONE last update. To honor the "Go for the kill" vote that we had two updates ago. I tried making it more interesting, by adding straight cheating to the AI factions, but.. After Uphill every battle is just boring 

A Spain vs Uber Egypt war would certainly take many lives, and field many great battles.. But Egyptian units are inferior to Roman ones, with worse morale, and we have already wiped out chariots aplenty.

It's mostly because we're losing interest in the game (and viewers ). But also, because I doubt we will have -ANY- trouble with Egypt (in all the games i had, i never had any trouble with Egyptian units), even with the cheat-mode that AI factions have.

The AI is just too stupid.. And we have 8 full stack armies raising hell around the world. I wipe out Dacia, Julii, SPQR, Numidia, Germans, severely cripple Macedon, Brutii and even take Scythian capital (Because we CAN)

If someone has any doubts, i'm open to staging some custom battles against viewer-assembled armies. If not, i'm putting RTW on the shelf for a long time.


The last update on its way!

[EmperorNuthulu]

You know, if you really wanted to make us all look bad at Rome total war you could ask if anyone wants to play you online. of course nobody would volunteer out of fear XD.

[Heron TSG]

I'm still viewing, and hot damn that was awesome.

[KaguroDraven]

Might I suggest Shogun 2 for the next TW LP if you ever do one? Supposedly they have finally reworked the AI to be intelligent.

[kilakan]

Shogun 2 AI is terrible.  Simply terrible.  What happens is this :check to see if you have any siege units, if so CHAAAARRRGGGEEE  :IF not, then kite the fuck out of you until you either have to just charge them into oblivion, or they gain the best defensive position on the map, and then sit there  otherwise they run around in circles until you run out of time.   The siege ai is a lot better, and when they attack the ai is a lot better, but when you attack them the ai reacts the same way every time.  Also there is insanely little diversity in the units, everything is either a spear, a bow, or a sword, with spears and bows making up the majority of every army.

I vote you play Empire total war, lots of diversity and can be hard as hell.

[Hyo]

I demand that you create a custom battle for us: whatever you can come up with 50000 denarii as Spain and the following Roman units:

2x Armoured Roman General
8x Praetorian Cavalry
2x Legionary First Cohort
5x Urban Cohort
2x Cavalry Auxilia
1x Arcani

All of them are 9/3/3 of course, on VH difficulty. As for the terrain... Alpine Valley perhaps? And I also want it so that you're the one downhill of course.


Now, 50000 denarii should be a tight budget, at least you'll know what you're facing, and you can choose what units you want in your army.

Besides, we might actually be able to watch you lose for once... That is, if it's possible anyways.

[Heron TSG]

Besides, we might actually be able to watch you lose for once... That is, if it's possible anyways.

I have not seen pics, it has not happened.

[Stworca]

(i've decided to go with this SS for the last update tittle. It's soothing)

Spoiler: I have a golden Ticket (click to show/hide)

Remember how Germans have sent an army just to cripple our advance? Aye, this suicidal attack of ze Germans has allowed me to test a new morale breaking combo.. Staring Javelins, Encirclement aaand..


Puppies!
Here you can insert the tittle screenshot. Our only losses were due to friendly fire javelin throws. German army was decimated. Such is the fate of general-less bunch that dares to call itself an Army.

There is some hope yet for the AI, Julii begin the siege of an independant city.. FINALLY!


We, however, proceed with the Siege of Corinth, as well as Thermon.


Thermon Falls easily, and so our Army sails to Apollonia (sailing is faster)


Will two armies be enough? Most likely yes, but we send another one.


In the following turn Brutii siege Thermon.. silly Brutii.. I begin the siege of Apollonia. (Uphill video is of this battle)


At the same time, battle for Corinth begins. (Initially, i wanted to put up a video of this siege, but it was 29 minutes long, and we curbstomped the enemy)


The battle was an obvious win, due to majority of enemy forces starting OUTSIDE of the city, and us having a very mobile force. Corinth is ours, and with Corinth comes the IWIN wonder that makes everyone happy. (whatever faction you play, aim to take this Wonder, viewer)


Up until this point, i still wanted to slowly take over the world, staging some awesome battles, but..


Julii LOST to independant effin peasants, and their siege is broken. I snapped, and went all Numidia on the game, simply rushing in all directions to get 50 provinces and win. I'm sorry, it's simply too much. Seeing as the Julii couldn't organize an attack against free-to-take cities for two decades, and when They finally did, They LOST?
They have no trouble in sending entire fucking stacks every three rounds against us..

Let us end this.

We have three armies in Greece, right? Wrong.
Another one is on its way, it just had to capture Crete on the way.


We capture the barbaric version of Denmark..


..and Damme, one of the very few German cities left.


There is not enough factions in our "At war with.." list, so we attack Dacia. Sadly Dacians appear to have lost their armies somewhere.. Probably traded them for tentacle porn.


What surprised me is that Brutii and Macedon were actually fighting each other! If not for the stupidity of Julii i would continue the LP if only for that first sign of fair play..
But it's too little, and too late. Athens are under siege.


And Army group Crete has just arrived. FOUR armies in Greece. Check Mate.


Does it reduce our strength on other fronts? Nope. I don't like getting caught with my pants down, so i always keep a trick or two in my sleeve. This time, however, no tricks are needed. As explained by this chart.
The 2 mysterious lost battles were naval.

Spoiler: Empire of Spain (click to show/hide)

At what point have i decided to not wage war against Egypt?
When i've discovered this.


Their capital.. revolted.. WHAT?!
(Well, our capital revolted twice already, but on VH player cities are tripping balls, AI is always at 200%..)
From bad to worse, oh how i wish that Paradox coded the AI..
We take Athens.


So.. i showed off a fancy graph, which shows that we have quite a bit of troops. But with 2 armies in Germany, 4 in Greece, 1 heading to finish off Numidia (SPOILERS?!) and even more hidden task forces.. Do we have enough GOOD troops to tackle Julii and Rome?
Let's see..


I had these ready for an epic 4 stack battle against Julii and Romans, but it seems that it's unlikely, seeing as Julii loose to bloody peasants..
And so Segesta falls.


In the very same turn we attack Arretium, and catch it with its pants down (i has spies!)


These are Marian Reform Romans, and these are Stone walls, so we suffer INSANE loses, but the city is ours.


You would think that it's enough entertainment for now, but i beg to differ.
Hello, Larissa.


And goodbye Numidia.



Perhaps you've noticed that our gold reserves are raising like CoD player's ego.. Exterminating huge cities is a good source of income.
But enough of this! Rome has attacked us, and another epic battle is about to take place!


But first, let's see their arm.. army... The ai.. is retarded..
(in case you don't know why i said that.. They have 5 siege weapons, a unit of 3 triarii, and absolute zero post-reform units.)


The pathetic army of Rome has triggered a chain reaction, which led to the destruction of Dacia. Tough luck, Dacia.



I couldn't end the LP without wiping the braindead faction, now could i? Julii.. I know not what moron was controling you this time, but have him exiled. (No, NOT turned into a diplomat)
Now die.



One could say, that Scythia would give me trouble, because They're the ultimate horse-archer nation.
One could say that, yes.
So i took Scythian capital.


I was also going to wipe out Germans before ending the run, but Domus Dulcis Domus is a lovely easter egg.


Rome? Burn.


..Done.

Thank you for watching, kind viewer. I hope you've enjoyed it, despite the lack of roleplaying or humor.

Morrowind, here i come!