Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

Hol-

-Derp

[Burnt Pies]

I failed the maze, can I have a General anyway?

[Heron TSG]

I would love a General. If not, a random army commander. Either way, victory is assured!

[Stworca]

I notice there is no rule against Assassin Spamming. I shall be an assassin.

On high difficulties it's pointless anyway. Remember when Scipii had 3 stacks in Carthage? After we killed one general, They had another one magically appear in his place. 17 assassinations took place before i didn't bother anymore. AI cheats, period.

I failed the maze, can I have a General anyway?

Try going AROUND the maze? 

The following update (tomorrow!) will have it all : France, Full stack battles, Romans breaking my balls, Island hoping, overseas invasion and elephants.

Also : The Julii intro is : " I hate Gaul". We have the "pleasure" of seeing Julii cooperate with Gaul to kill us and Scipii skip Carthage altogether to stab Spain in the back. How fun.

[Korbac]

Kicking ass as usualy, Stworca! Watching.

[Praecordia]

I went through the tunnel between the two mazes. Can I have a general? I've only really played Shogun 2 (GASP!), and my strategy was "ZERG RUSH NOW LOL." So if I do end up with one, he should be the "trash" general, just launching troops with no formation at the enemy, becuase it will make Spain even more FUN.

[noah22223]

I request general.
AND A SPAINISH CUPCAEK!

[Sheb]

Wow, you went this far. Well, they Roman General must have guessed than an Armenian general from across the Multiverse is now leading Spain. They do not want to loose the world AGAIN.

[Hanzoku]

I too would like a General. Hopefully he won't die in epic fashion, but if he does, it'll be for a good cause!

[EmperorNuthulu]

Can I have a spy, since nobody claims spies! Also, hurray for round shield cavalry, and their awfulness...

[Stworca]

Spoiler: Securing Iberian Peninsula.. who's Sula, and where exactly is this pen? (click to show/hide)

As pointed before, we have some unwashed Gaul sieging Osca. We can not have that. Our walls are pathetic, and provide no advantage, thus : FIELD BATTLE!


Town watch are pathetic troggs, but we pull this one off regardless. With the power of Scutarii and General.


Fun fact, we won't be able to replace any of the lost scutarii for a very long time. Them Romans land.. but for some reason They've sent only 2 hastati and 1 TW force.


We ignore them for now, and sell them our maps.


With their filthy gold, we can buy more mercs to fuel our invasion! Ahoy!


Numidian javelinmen are our no#1 meatshields. City is ours.


Not to lose momentum, we immediately march east. If everything goes well, my master plan shall succeed! Muahaha!


One of the above turns was turn 10 i think. Doesn't matter.  We siege unwashed Frenchmen in one of their cities. The forces are evenly matched, so.. What is this..?!


We can not take them all at once, so i position myself as close to left flank as possible. Their weaker reinforcements will apear somewhere on the left fla-- now this is awkward.. 


But awkward or not, we take the opportunity while it's there.


Kill a random barbarian, who claims to be a general.


And re-group long before the main enemy force arrives. Yay!


Our cavalry forms one giant blob. We MUST win the confrontation against Gallic cavalry on the right flank.


The left flank is where the party is at. Our closed C formation forces Gaul soldiers to spread out thin in order to encircle us. This gives us an edge in the center. (Cavalry isn't included on this random set of lines)


We want to break their center, and encircle their left flank..


While holding the right one, till our victorious cavalry appears to roflstomp them back into stone age.


Trust me when i say, that these "drawings" make more sense than any SS than i've taken.. Anyway.. After their general goes BLAEEERGH


We know that our crazy plan has actually worked out (wtf?!)


And them unwashed Gauls have suffered a French-Worthy defeat


Most of our loses are to the barb infantry, so we're very, very happy with the outcome.


Sheb was so happy with our progress, that he died.


Having no idea what was the city name that we just took, i don't mention it... Narbo Martius?

Spoiler: The god damn AI (click to show/hide)

Another Julii ship is approaching, so we best deal with these hastatii that are already here..


..and hop to Palma. Hola! Que pasa senor? (Yes, them Romans have landed again, with more troops. But it's Town Watch + Hastati trash once again. I'm not showing Romans until They REALLY show up. Note : They didn't land in Osca this time. A win.)


Naturally our Africa Korps (Erwin must be turning around in his grave right now) proceeds to Cirta.


A confusing battle with Numidians takes place.


Some random people die.


Then They flee, so we will have to fight again.. You know, the usual African battle.


On Ze next turn, Palma is ours! I couldn't find a spot to build a watchtower, so we'll secure the sea the hard way.


Also : Cirta round 2.


We used doping, thus victory was ours.


We proceed up to Carthaginian border.. and get attacked by them. (Yes, we will get to that Scipii ship in just a moment..)


Trick to elephants is - as everyone knows - morale. So, after we kill the enemy general, and encircle them once or twice, They rout and fail. (We said NO to all-cav armies, but i was just building some effin towers when these idiots attacked me)


Also : Bloody Frenchmen attack part of our North invasion force. I hit retreat to merge with the other 3 groups.


When it's finally our turn, we discover that Scipii have SKIPPED Carthage, and invade us (Just like the Julii skipped Gaul).
The AI loves me.


The next step would be Gaul having alliance with Britain, Numidia with Carthage and Brutii landing in Spain "Because Greece is too mainstream". Needless to say Julii are on neutral terms with Gaul, and send a proper army this time.


We merge our naked fanatics with our general, skirmishers and Iberian infantry.. Only to get tracked down by those Gallic drunkards again.


But what is this? An ambush? Yup. This basically means, that you see where the enemies are positioned, and for some time the AI is more retarded than usual (I actually like ambushes. They never work).


We use warcry, charge their flank..


..and because barbarians have god awful morale, exterminate the enemies.


So far, so good. Hopefully Gaul-Britain war will take a turn for the better, and Frenchmen will be forced to withdraw more.. Gaul is allied with Britain..


..this is just fucking impossible.

Spoiler: Bridge It, Jones (click to show/hide)

Remember that Julii army that was coming for us? We're making them pay for not using the land.


..and Again.


*fap fap fap* Yeah! Take that! (we've sank the army)


..and with all Gaul forces gathering to screw me up north, we'll take Massalia. (the undefended city to the right. Next to our 0,7-stack army)


Needless to say, this is where you insert the topmost image. We have some extra skirmishers. fanatics and barb mercenaries this time.


..AND IT'S A BRIDGE! WOOOOOOOOOO! (i don't just leave my armies standing around, you know).


Without phalanx, slingers, heavy defensive infantry, archers and anything else that has any value, we have to allow some of enemy forces to cross the bridge, and dogpile them, then retreat, dogpile again and so forth. Warcry + javelin volleys help breaking their morale.


It was quite annoying, and the game crashed on me twice, but we them running.
Needless to say, They got wiped out by our general (general cav vs routing enemies = 700 kills. Easy way to gain stars and experience)


And we still have plenty of time to deal with the second enemy army.


..by crossing the bridge, and doing the exact same thing from the other side.


My friend always told me, that Bridges are my friends.


He died on a bridge.


Somewhere in south-western France.


He was said to charge some Spaniards across it.


It appears that we've won.


After that, Lemonum was in big trouble. They've sent one last army to deal with us, when we got to the city.


But these are Warbands... One of the very few enemies that are even more pathetic than Spanish units.


The last step on our 10 year anniversary journey, is securing Caralis.


With it, we can easily hold Roman ships from reaching Carthage and Spain. Forcing them to attack us through mountains.


With Massalia, we can hold Romans at a chokepoint. Lemonum is a step closer to finishing Gaul, and sea superiority (which i MUST achieve and maintain) we can grow very strong defensively.
Spain isn't going anywhere, you dirtbags.

[Heron TSG]

Glorious.

[EmperorNuthulu]

 And you said Spanish General cav were bad? 

[Sheb]

You should not use bridge. They feel cheaty. That said, awesome. I'm just afraid the Romans won't have time to go through Marian Reforms.

[h3lblad3]

Those blasted reforms were a godsend playing as the Romans.
But absolute hell if you play as anyone else.
My Carthaginians had the Romans pushed back into Italy before those reforms, dangit!

[Stworca]

You should not use bridge. They feel cheaty.

I have to agree here, but i wanted to see how a bridge without phalanx or ranged units goes.

I'm just afraid the Romans won't have time to go through Marian Reforms.

I'm not setting foot in Rome until They get reforms. I will strip them from all non-italian provinces, should they catch any, but i will not attack the shoe itself until we see some urban cohort stacks.

And you said Spanish General cav were bad?

We used 3 Round Shield and 2 Generals versus 2 barb cav. We had to win there.
And yes, the cav is terrible, but it is still cav. The speed is enough to win some fights.

Keep in mind, folks, that we're facing low-life scum in the form of warbands and other terrible units.

In joyful, amazing news : One of our cities has population of 6000+, and in 5 turns we should see the first Bull Warriors group! Yay!
In ball-breaking, terrible news : Romans are at war only with two factions : Carthage and Spain. Gaul are at war only with Spain. Numidia is at war only with Spain. Carthage is at war with Spain and Rome.
Romans never attacked Carthage aside from reclaiming Sicily.
Romans never attacked Gaul

I don't even know how is this possible.. Is it "Vhard" difficulty that is behind it? Hard to tell.