Welcome to the fourth annual-
I'm not really sure it's annual.
Why don't you people tell me these things?
I just got here.
Oy, Urist!
Yes sir?
Send this dwarf to the fun chamber.
No, not the fun chamber, anything but-
*Sounds of grappling and rage, followed by a long dragging sound.*
Now then, welcome to the fourth dwarven race!
It's been some time since such a spectacle of dwarven genius has come about, so enjoy it!
And remember the motto! Losing is fast!
I've decided to try and revive dwarven races.
I've changed and added a lot of stuff, so have a good read. Suggestions are always welcome.
I'll be taking 6 players at first, to keep things simple.
Original idea was SHAD0Wdump's for those not familiar.
Players: 6/6
Name: Arghost
Vehicle Name: Loricatus
Dwarfbucks: 25
Health: I'm still alive ya know
Abilities: what?
Stone Chassis: 15/15 Has small weak points only you know about.
Stone Wheels: 10/10
Copper Knife.
Furnace:
Henchmen: N/A
Standing orders: N/A
Name: Cog
Vehicle Name: Cog's Cog.
Dwarfbucks: 0☼
Health: Fine
Abilities: Proficient Metalsmith.
Steel Shortsword
Stone Chassis: 15/15
Stone Wheels: 10/10
Furnace: Slightly improved, burn more stuff for a speed boost.
Henchmen:
Olon: Kobold, cutebold variety
Health: Fine
Abilities: May be able to pick locks.
Standing orders: Keep on watch.
Name: Dwarmin
Vehicle Name: The Tub of Melting Fat
Dwarfbucks: 50☼
Health: Fine
Abilities: Proficient Cook-Dwarf
Parts:
Iron Chassis: 15/15 +1 durability
Iron Wheels: 15/15 +1 Traction, +1 durability
Engine: 3 Boars (300)
Henchmen:
Crazy henchdwarf/Mad Fryer
Copper Armor
Health: Fine
Abilities: Can board
Orders:Prepare to leap
Standing orders:
Name: Sludge Mc. Waxpit
Vehicle Name: Swinemobile
Dwarfbucks: 0☼
Health: As healthy as a lardbutt can be.
Abilities: Proficient siege operator. Slightly better at launching boars. (50% chance of +1 bonus)
Parts:
-Wood Chassis
-Wood Wheels
-3 Boars(engine)
-Catapult
-3 Boars(ammunition)
-4 rocks of +2 damage(Comes with catapult)
Name: Amxurist
Vehicle Name: Terror of the Roads
Dwarfbucks: 0☼
Health: Healthy
Abilities: Proficient Intimidator
Parts:
Stone Chassis: 15/15
Stone Wheels: 10/10
Screw Pump Engine: Very afraid of you and your crew. +1 speed during aggressive driving.
4x Kobolds
Biscuits, 6/6
Copper Whip
Crazy Henchdwarf
Henchmen:
Kobold: Jregen, male
Health: Fine
Abilities: May be able to pick locks.
Kobold: Gardat, female
Health: Fine
Abilities: May be able to pick locks.
Kobold: Akunrak, male
Health: Fine
Abilities: May be able to pick locks.
Kobold: Takart, female
Health: Fine
Abilities: May be able to pick locks. +1 to future attempts to instill loyalty.
Crazy Henchdwarf: Etur Fistclash, female, collects beards of her fallen enemies
Health: Fine
Abilities: Can board
Holding Iron Spear and steel shield.
Standing orders:
Jregen, Gardat, Akunrak power the engine.
Etur wields a spear and keeps an eye out for incoming threats.
Takart uses a whip to instill discipline on board and, as long as everyone else behaves, is rewarded with 1 biscuit every 3 turns.
Name: Errol
Vehicle Name: The Mad Chemist
Health: Fine. Wearing asbestos clothing.
Abilities: Proficient Brewer
Stone Chassis: 15/15 Small indent in racer holding a !!Pig Tail Sock!!
Stone Wheels: 10/10
Booze Rocket:
Booze x8
Quality Booze x1
Booze Slick: Contains standard booze.
!!Pig Tail Sock!! x1
Henchmen:
Kobold in Disguise, named Warwick
Health: Fine.
Abilities: May be able to pick locks.
Hot Desert:
Simply Get to the other side.
The black tiles are walls put up by the dwarves.
Gray is stone road, and you get a small speed bonus on it.
Tan with brown dots is rocky desert, no penalty or bonus.
Tan is standard desert.
Tan with wavy lines is sand dunes, with a penalty to speed.
Light blue is an oasis.
The lower left area is a beach with the ocean.
The volcano is a volcano of course, and around it are smaller mountains.
Tank is the start line because there aren't really any better icons.
Map made with hexographer.
You get cash for killing camels by the way. And the bears. The dwarves though it would be fun to have bears there.
The black lines are the standard path, feel free to deviate if need be. You have one turn before the race, make it count. If you wish to sabotage somebody, just pm me. Do note that failure to be sneaky enough will result in hammering.
Standard rtd rules, using d6. Almost anything is possible, the dice decide.
You can pile as many parts as you like on your vehicle, but only one engine can be in effect at any one time. Other engines can only act as backup. No definite floorplan is necessary, but feel free to specify the layout of your vehicle.
Speed
This is fairly simple. The course is a hex grid, and you can go a number of hexes per turn determined by your speed.
Turns
Every turn, you can do three things:
Order your henchdwarves around. There is a limit to how complex these orders can be, but you can always leave standing orders to be carried out every turn.
Steer. This is done automatically, but there are three special driving modes you can use, detailed below. If for some reason you are unable to steer and the wheel is unattended, you will eventually go off course and will auto-fail cornering rolls.
An action. This can be more or less anything, but there is a limit of one per turn - though there is some ambiguity about what exactly constitues one action. As a rule of thumb, so long as it's not obviously two different things and doesn't upset game balance then it's fine.
Driving modes
One can be chosen per turn, if you wish. You don't need to, but it can be advantageous.
Aggressive driving: pushes your engine harder. Plus one to speed, minus one to cornering, and will eventually damage something important in your vehicle.
Cautious driving: you drive more slowly. Plus two to cornering, minus one to speed.
Driving focus: the racing equivalent of a martial trance. You forfeit your action and your henchdwarf orders to gain perfect reflexes and superdwarven skill. This allows you to avoid more or less anything which is possible to avoid.
Attacks must first roll to hit, then to pierce the armour before they can damage something. You can aim for a specific target (including a hole you already made). Attacks made while boarding get a bonus and obviously don't need to roll to hit. Ranges are in tiles away from you that the weapon can be shot, so if you're in square 5, you can throw a grappling hook to square 6 and shoot a ballista to square 8.
Beginners start with 1500☼ in cash to outfit their racer. You must have a chassis and an 'engine' to participate. At the end of each race, the winner gets 1500, second place gets 1250, third gets 1000, and everyone else gets 500. There will also be bonuses for achievements during the race given at the end of the race, like killing the most wildlife.
When people finish the race, they can still take actions. However, they have to be immediately relevant. No trying to repair your vehicle unless it's on fire or something. At the end of the race, there's one extra turn for everyone to mourn the losses they will have inevitably experienced. Or maybe do something else.
Between races, you have time for four actions, such as working on your racer or doing odd jobs for cash. Odd jobs can include the tried and tested mug spam. Should you wish to perform actions of an unscrupulous nature, you can PM me a different turn to what you post. Remember that dwarven justice frequently involves a large hammer. Henchdwarves get one action each and are somewhat less effective than players.
Crafting stuff is possible: the quality depends on your roll. Handmade weapons and bolts and such are generally better than the cheap stuff made with immigrant labour. Workshops are free to use. Skilled craftsmen can be contracted: just specify what you want and you'll get a quote for it. That is to say, a price. Don't feel the need to craft, though. Other stuff is just as viable.
Name: Serious names not required, but nice.
Vehicle Name: As above.
Dwarfbucks: Start with 1500☼ to build your racer.
Health:
Abilities: You might learn something during the drive. Or grow wings. Y'know, that kind of stuff.
You need at least a chassis and an engine.
Downgrading wheels is free, upgrading is not. Don't count what you spent on wheels
unless you upgraded. This section will also keep track of damage or additions to parts.
Parts:
Henchmen:
Put any of them here, feel free to give them names. Make a health and abilities section
for each of them too.
Standing orders: What your henchmen will do when you don't tell them anything else.
You can specify specific henchmen in here of course.
Note: Df damage is still in, despite hard health numbers. This reduces ambiguity.
Each of these comes with matching wheels.
Wooden chassis. 400☼
No bonuses. Burns. 10 Health.
Stone chassis. 600☼
No bonuses. 15 Health.
Iron chassis. 800☼
+1 Armour bonus. 15 Health.
Steel chassis. 1600☼
+2 Armour bonus. 20 Health.
Platinum Chassis. 3000☼
+3 Armour bonus. 30 Health.
Slade chassis. 8000☼
Same as adamantine, but +1 to ramming, -1 to speed for some engines, and 4 eagles needed for permaflight due to heaviness. Damage to it is also -2 to -4 Penalty. 40 Health.
Adamantine chassis. 10000☼
Unbreakable, except by adamantine or slade weapons, artifact weapons, siege weapons, and magma, all at a -3 to -5 penalty. It still will take awhile.
Also, it will only take 1 giant eagle for permanent flight, due to how lightweight it is. -1 to ramming and +1 Speed, also due to weight.
These bonuses can be canceled out with enough things in or on the vehicle. 50 Health.
Chassis Armour.
Wooden Armour. 300☼
5 Health.
Stone Armour. 450☼
10 Health.
Iron Armour. 600☼
+1 Durability. 10 Health.
Steel Armour. 1200☼
+2 Durability. 15 Health.
Platinum Armour. 2250☼
+3 Durability. 20 Health.
Slade Armour. 8000☼
Same as adamantine, but -2 to -4 Penalty. 30 Health.
Adamantine Armour. 10000☼
Unbreakable, except by adamantine or slade weapons, artifact weapons, siege weapons, and a few other things, all at a -3 to -5 penalty. It still will take awhile. 40 health.
Enclosed cabin. +33%☼ to base cost.
Henchdwarves are protected from ranged weapons by the armor, but cannot shoot from inside.
Boarders must hang on to the outside, and getting in requires a roll. Unless there's a hole in the armour already...
Enclosed cabin with fortifications. +50%☼ to base cost.
Same as enclosed cabin, but henchdwarves can shoot from inside.
Spikes. +25%☼ to base cost
+1 to ramming. Those who ram you get counterattacked automatically.
Minibridges. +33%☼ to base cost.
Small boards/bars that flip up and down on the outside of the chassis. Activated from a lever in the cabin(or wherever else you
want it). Might knock things like bolts/small rocks/mugs away. +1 to blocking ranged attacks.(or +2 for platinum and adamantine.)
Wheels
Wooden Wheels. 200☼
No Bonus. Burn. 5 Health.
Stone Wheels. 300☼
No Bonus. 10 Health.
Iron Wheels. 400☼
+1 Traction. +1 Durability. 15 Health.
Steel Wheels. 800☼
+2 Traction. +2 Durability. 20 Health.
Platinum Wheels. 1500☼
+3 Traction. +3 Durability. 25 Health.
Slade Wheels. 6000☼
+4 Traction. Same as adamantine, but -2 to -4 Penalty. 30 Health.
Adamantine Wheels. 7500☼
+4 Traction. Unbreakable, except by adamantine or slade weapons, artifact weapons, siege weapons, and a few other things, all at a -3 to -5 penalty. It still will take awhile. 40 Health.
Wheel mods
Spikes. +33☼ to base cost. Spikes attached to your wheels. Should do some damage.
+1 to ramming(+2 for adamantine).
Smoothing. +33%☼ Base cost. Rough wheels, even of the best metal can't hold up well on rough terrain. Hires an engraver to smooth your wheels. Unfortunately, your wheels lose a bit of mass.
+1 to traction, -1 to durability. Cannot take Hardening with this. Does not work on adamantine or slade.
Hardening. +33%☼ Base cost. Thickens your wheels, making them take a bit more damage before breaking, but reducing how well they turn.
-1 to traction, +1 to durability. Cannot take Smoothing with this. Does not work on adamantine or slade.
Only one engine can propel a racer at a time.
For animal engines, you can purchase additional animals at the same ratio. Ex: 12 cats total costs 300.
8 Cats. 200☼
Speed of two. Produces two kittens every 2 turns, which mature the next. What you do with them is up to you...
3 Boars. 300☼
Attack a random racer, usually the nearest.
Speed of two.
3 Elephants. 800☼
Not inclined to listen to you. Attack a random racer, usually the nearest. Four speed and +1 to traction,
but if they're your only means of moving forward, you'd better hope they try to savage the leading dwarf.
Furnace. 850☼
Three speed. The dwarf who sells these says that they're totally safe forever and that the casing won't be spontaneously
breached, but it may still be a bad idea to use one on a wooden racer. Just sayin'.
Screw pump engine 100☼
Must have at least one henchdwarf assigned at all times. One speed per henchdwarf, to a maximum of three.
Perpetual motion machine power plant 2000☼
Four speed. Bulky, but harnesses the power of dwarven physics. Cannot be made to go faster with aggressive driving.
Giant Eagle. 300☼
Only two speed, but these fellows can lift you up into the air every other turn. While in the air, you can only be hit by ranged weapons,
auto-succeed on cornering rolls and are unaffected by obstacles. Two of these will allow you to stay in the air permanently.
Booze Rocket. 100☼
Three speed, must be manned, and consumes half a barrel of booze (50☼ each) per turn. Quality booze(100☼ each) is consumed
at half the rate. Aggressive driving uses a twice the amount per turn, and guarantees(unless damage or other facotrs apply) 4 speed.
Machine Crossbow. 400☼
Range 1. Fires twice every turn. -1 to hit. -3 to damage to non flesh
targets. Comes with 16 Steel Bolts.
Catapult. 500☼
Range 4. -3 to hit, Damage varies based on ammunition. Comes with 4 free
medium rocks at +2 damage each.
Hard to use, but it's going to mess your opponent up when it hits.
Ballista. 750☼
Range 3. +2 to Damage.
Cannon. 650☼
Range 4, +2 to damage. Roll for chance of gunpowder explosion with each
attack.
Giant Slingshot. 300☼
Range 2, +1 to hit. Damage varies based on ammuniton. Comes with 5 free
small rocks at no bonus each.
Caged fire imps. 500☼
Throw these on someone's racer and laugh. Comes with 4 imps.
Wood, Iron, Steel, Copper, Silver, Slade Crossbow. 150☼, 300☼. 450☼,
600☼, 750☼, 2000☼
-2, -1, +0, +1, +2, +3 to blunt.
Comes with 5 bolts of that material. Wood(-2 to damage) or bone(-2 to
hit) bolts. Iron(-1 to hit, -1 to damage),
Steel(No bonuses), Copper(+1 to hit, +1 to damage), Silver(+2 to hit, +2
to damage), Slade(+3 to hit, +3 to Damage).
Bolt cost(in stacks of 5). Wood and bone. 50☼ Iron. 100☼ Steel. 150☼
Silver. 250☼ Slade. 500☼ Can only carry 5 due to weight.
Base bolt damage and hit rate is +0 damage, +0 hit to flesh, and -1 hit
rate, -3 damage to non-flesh.
Copper, Iron, Steel, Adamantine Shortsword. 100☼, 250☼, 500☼, 2500☼
+0, +1, +2, +3 to flesh. -3, -2, -1, +0 to non-flesh.
Can be used to arm henchdwarves.
Copper, Iron, Steel, Adamantine Axe. 100☼, 250☼, 500☼, 2500☼
+0, +1, +2, +3 to flesh. -3, -2, -1, +0 to non-flesh.
Can be used to arm henchdwarves.
Copper, Steel, Silver, Slade Hammer. 100☼, 250☼, 500☼, 2500☼
-1, +0, +1, +2 to flesh. +0, +1, +2, +3 to non-flesh.
Can be used to arm henchdwarves.
Copper, Iron, Steel, Adamantine Spear. 100☼, 250☼, 500☼, 2500☼
+1, +2, +3, +4 to flesh. -4, -3, -2, -1 to non-flesh.
Can be used to arm henchdwarves.
Copper, Iron, Steel, Adamantine Knife. 50☼, 150☼, 300☼, 1500☼
-1, +0, +1, +2 to flesh. -4, -3, -2, -1 to non-flesh.
Cheap weapon. Good utility tool as well.
Rock mugs. 50☼
Range 1 -2 to hit. -3 to damage.
Only Lasts one race.
!!Lignite!! in a bin. 250☼
You only get one of these, but it will never stop burning. Very potent.
Very bad for a wooden racer. Comes with a free set of tongs.
!!Pig tail sock!! 50☼
Only lasts one race. Throw it on a tile, and every other racer in that
square must roll with a penalty to prevent a crash. The henchdwarf who
uses it remains on fire throughout the race. Better not mix him
with the booze...
Grappling hook. 250☼
Range 1 if thrown. Attach yourself to another racer! Bonus to boarding
actions, will pull you along if you're slower than the one you're
grappling. Can be detached manually from either racer, and if you pull
ahead it will auto-detach.
Booze slick. 200☼ or 350☼ for starting with quality booze
Refilled from a stockpile each race. Can also be refilled 1/3 with a
barrel of booze. Drops a lot of booze on the ground behind you.
May ruin traction, henchdwarves may be tempted to Cancel task: Getting
drink. Using quality booze makes it more tempting.
Water slick. 300☼
Refilled from a water source each race. Drops some water on the ground
behind you. Ruins traction of cars.
Magma slick. 600☼
Refilled from the magma sea/pipe each race. Drops some lava on the ground
behind you. Requires quick reflexes to avoid.
-Enormous corkscrews, menacing spikes, spiked balls-
50☼
Use them to make traps. You can also use the weapons listed above,
including the crossbow, in traps.
Leather armour
50☼
This stuff protects you if you wear it.
Copper, Iron, Bronze, Steel, Adamantine Chain armour
100, 150, 250, 500, 1000☼
Wear it and you'll not only be protected, but also all jangly.
Copper, Iron, Bronze, Steel, Adamantine Plate armour
150, 250, 500, 750, 1250☼
More effective in warding off aggression than more pedestrian forms of
armour.
Wood, Iron, Steel, Bronze, Copper, Adamantine Shield
50, 100, 150, 250, 500, 1000☼
Hold it and it protects you.
Standard henchdwarf. 250☼
Your basic dwarf. Unskilled and with total disregard for his own safety.
Cannot board other racers. Replaced for free with immigrants next race if
killed.
Crazy henchdwarf. 200☼
Can board other racers instead of merely defending. Not replaced if
killed.
Siege operator/marksdwarf. 400☼
+1 to hit with all ranged weapons. Cannot board, not replaced if killed.
Melee henchdwarf. 400☼
+1 to hit with all melee weapons. Can board. Not replaced if killed.
Engineer henchdwarf. 500☼
+1 to repairs. Might not follow instructions exactly. Can be told to
board at a -1 penalty(Wants to "fix" things, but not that badly). Not
replaced if killed.
Medical henchdwarf. 400 + 50x☼
+1 to healing. Cannot board. Not replaced if killed. Comes with a medical
kit with x uses(max 6.)
Kobold in disguise 50☼
Cheap kobold labour! Not replaced after the race, may try to escape, and
may be able to pick locks.
Booze. 50☼ per barrel
Whatever you want to use it for. It's explosive, for one thing. Your
henchdwarves might drink it when they try to use it, though.
Quality Booze. 100☼ per barrel.
Same as Booze, but better.
Biscuits. 50☼ for pack of 6.
Good for motivating animal "engines". Not as effective on elephants, or
other large animals.
Copper Whip. 100☼
Looted from a goblin siege. Needed to drive aggressively for animal
“engines” most of the time.
Can do some damage, at a -2 penalty for non-flesh targets. and -1 for
flesh targets,
Rope. 100☼
Cheaper grappling hook. Has other uses though.
Cage trap. 100☼
Mounted on your racer. Who knows what you'll catch...
Mechanism. 50☼ Use your dwarven enginuity to make all kinds of Fun stuff.
Medical Kit. 150☼
Used for healing during or after the race. 3 uses. +1 to healing.
Repair Kit. 150☼
Used for repairs during or after the race. 3 uses. +1 to repairing.
Healing.
100☼ for full recovery(except permanent inuries.). Need to purchase
individually.
Repairs.
May remove positive modifiers acquired during the race as well, unless
you perform them yourself. Which is free, by the way.
Levels of damage are
Fine: 81-100%. 5% of item cost to fix.
Lightly Damaged: 61-80%. 10% of item cost to fix.
Moderately Damaged: 41-60%. 20% of item cost to fix.
Heavily Damaged: 21-40%. 33% of item cost to fix.
Very Heavily Damaged: 1-20%. 50% of item cost to fix.
Raw materials. 10☼ or more, depending on the item.
The only ways so far to get in off the waiting list are as such:
1. Player quits or goes missing long enough.
2. Player's character dies(I may allow one of your henchmen to take over the vehicle(you now control them), depending on their current loyalty, but that's one time only).
3. Player's vehicle is unusable or close too, and they cannot get money to fix it(You get a 1 chance pity vehicle, unless you don't want to try).
For the next race, depending on current stress/busyness/etc levels, I may add 2 or more players from the waiting list.
Wait List:
Name: Stoneeater McBeardson
Vehicle Name: The Fun Cruiser
Dwarfbucks: 0
Health: Drunk
Abilities: Proficient Stonecrafter
Stone Chassis: 15/15
Iron Wheels: 15/15 +1 Traction, +1 Durability
10 Cat Engine: 2 speed.
Giant Slingshot
-5 Small Rocks (included)
Henchmen:
Standard Henchdwarf:
Name: Rockbeard
Health: Drunk
Abilites: Red Shirt (easily replaceable)
Standing Orders:
Drive normally. Don't be afraid to ram anyone without spikes in my way.
Henchdwarf shoots the slingshot at people.
Priority list:
People same hex as me
People 1 hex in front of me
People 1 hex to sides
People 1 hex to rear
People 2 hexes to front
All others