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[JoshBrickstien]

Like Duke 2.0 on the first page, I sleep in whatever I'm wearing. And here I thought I was the only one.

[Neonivek]

On bed-weaponry I've got a stainless steel ruler that slices unprotected flesh well, the bottom half of a cane (I used to have another cane suspended above my bed but it disappeared), a coal shovel near the furnace, fluorescent light-bulbs (I'd use 'em too), and some odds and ends I've learned to use with deadly efficiency (mops, spray cans, jars, clothes-hangers, etc). All of this would probably take me a few seconds to ready but if I had to defend myself the moment I wake up, I have sheets and blankets for a reason.

Holy dang!... Your Magaiver's dream! except spelled correctly!

[G-Flex]

MacGyver's dream: 15-year-olds who brag on the Internet about how they think they can fend off burglars with lightbulbs?

[MetalSlimeHunt]

Well, the lightbulbs are full of mercury.

[vagel7]

Well, the lightbulbs are full of mercury.

So you will probably die next to the burglar

[Vector]

Well, the lightbulbs are full of mercury.

So you will probably die next to the burglar

. . . You do know that mercury isn't insta-death, right?  My mom is 55 or so with minimal health problems, and she (with the rest of her family) used to play extensively with the stuff that came out of broken thermometers.

So, I'm not really expecting "next to" here.

[Blargityblarg]

Thermometers almost always contain red-dyed alcohol, not mercury, though I don't know if that was the case 50-odd years ago.

[Vector]

Thermometers almost always contain red-dyed alcohol, not mercury, though I don't know if that was the case 50-odd years ago.

Yes, thermometers used to be made with mercury, as did barometers--the latter is why we still have air pressure readings of 1 atmosphere to 760 mm Hg (mercury).

[Blargityblarg]

I'm not sure how long ago that was- neither is a terribly recent invention- and yes, phrases such as 'the mercury is rising' exist, but I'm sure they were banned age-

Welp, wikipedia says the US merely 'recommends against them'. Carry on.

[G-Flex]

Well, the lightbulbs are full of mercury.

So you will probably die next to the burglar

. . . You do know that mercury isn't insta-death, right?  My mom is 55 or so with minimal health problems, and she (with the rest of her family) used to play extensively with the stuff that came out of broken thermometers.

So, I'm not really expecting "next to" here.

It's worth noting that that isn't a very good comparison, though.

Liquid metallic mercury isn't a huge deal because absorption of the liquid through skin is low... even if you swallow the stuff, it's not going to do much.

Mercury vapor, on the other hand, is a much bigger deal as it is much more readily absorbed when you breathe it in.

Of course, there are also organic mercury compounds, such as those in fish, which are very bad news because they accumulate so much and are so hard to eliminate from the body, and salts of mercury, which are also bad news and responsible for the dangerous nature of lead paint.

That being said, breaking a single fluorescent bulb isn't likely to do very much to anyone.

[MetalSlimeHunt]

That being said, breaking a single fluorescent bulb isn't likely to do very much to anyone.

Given that I accidentally breathed the dust from a broken fluorescent bulb once, I can confirm this is true. Unless the mercury is taking half a decade or so to take effect, in which case I am still doomed.

[ArKFallen]

They're the long ones, not the small ones. These things are about the size of a mop and they litter the basement. Sharp glass is sharp.
Mercury poisoning takes a while and doesn't always happen. I'm pretty sure the phrase "Mad as a Hatter" was largely due to the mercury they used when making hats.
On the MacGyver bit: I never said it'd work too well, but it's what I've got and know how to use. And while many say anything can be a weapon, only some things can be useful. That said knives would probably work well but I'd rather not have an innately sharp object anywhere near my sleeping self.

[Leafsnail]

Given that I accidentally breathed the dust from a broken fluorescent bulb once, I can confirm this is true. Unless the mercury is taking half a decade or so to take effect, in which case I am still doomed.

So you just need to make sure you poison your home intruder well in advance of the break in.  It's not difficult.

[G-Flex]

How exactly does one come to "know how to use" a fluorescent tube as a weapon? Why would anyone train to use a tube of fragile glass to defend themselves? What would make them think it's such a good and useful idea that it's worth spending a significant amount of time on?

[kaijyuu]

That used to happen to me when I was 10 or so. Turns out, it was just slight air movements pushing the ends of my silently forming chest hair against my skin, making me itchy.

Perhaps kaijyuu is growing a symbiote?

O.O


Not that I know of....