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Spanish Inigo Montoya

13 (52%)

Dutch Incognito

12 (48%)

Total Members Voted: 25

Voting closed: July 10, 2011, 04:27:46 pm

[USEC_OFFICER]

Having decided to start up another Let's Play, I have decided to play Sid Meier's Pirates! Sadly not the original, but the 2004 remake.

For those of you who don't know about Sid Meier's Pirates!, the game is based in the Caribbean in the 17th century, obviously a time when pirates ruled the seas. As a swashbuckling privateer, we too can amass large piles of loot through pillaging, fighting and all that fun stuff. But we must deal with something important, and that is plot.

Spoiler: Flimsy Excuse for a Backstory (click to show/hide)

Apparently it began with a celebration.



My family has been indebted to the Marquis for years, too poor to afford better video quality or a dining room that's not connected to the front door. But all of that is about to change. While we were enjoying our poorly rendered food and clothing, our trading fleet was sailing three of the seven seas, acquiring vasts amounts of wealth, enough to make the King of Spain jealous (admittedly easier then you would think).



Tonight, while we make enough the sounds of merriment (being too poor to afford actual merriment) our fleet is returning to port, finally freeing us from the Marquis's debt. Presumably we'll get some real merriment for the occasion.



The Marquis, being the good sport that he is, decided to bring the ill tidings himself. Apparently the fleet 'sunk' in a storm, after 'shooting themselves' with cannonballs and 'chucking the gold' overboard.



Coincidentally, the debt is due, and the Marquis is forced to sell us all into slavery. If it were up to him he'd rather not enslave us, but the law is the law, so what can he do?



That dashing rapscallion is me. I decided that being a slave was not the career path that I had chosen for myself, and resolved to escape in a heroic manner as possible. After lamely slapping the guard holding me, I immediately dashed for the door and run out to the street, to duck behind a nearby house to watch my family be taken away.



The Marquis, having made his fortune after escaping from slavery in a similar case, decides not to chase me. Or even look behind himself when he's loading my family into the slavery wagon, despite me hiding five feet away in plain sight.



Ten years later, having grown to my full measure (and with the latest advances in video quality), I decided to stop bumming around Europe and start acquiring a vast fortune in the New World (which still has that new world smell).



Oh, and my family was being held in the Caribbean or something. I was too enthralled by the thoughts of the huge piles of money I'll plunder to care that much.



The creepy old barkeep said that I could sign up for passages at his bar. Frankly I think that he was just looking to swindle me out of some money, especially after he pointed out the captains who actually wanted some men.



In true European fashion, the captains all sit at separate tables, certain that their nation is the greatest (and not wanting to catch the Spanish/Dutch/English/French pox). I also learned that the Spanish/Dutch/English/French pox is the exact same thing. Go figure.

So, ye scalawags (a word which nothing to do with pirates but a lot with piracy), what nation should we join? While you're thinking of that conundrum, I'd take a look at the character creation as well.

Spoiler: Character Creation (click to show/hide)

Character Creation: All the fun of choosing a name, a skill and a time period! (and not much else)

An explanation of the skills and time periods will be up shortly (if I have to explain how names work, that would be very silly). Additionally I will be playing at the difficulty of adventurer, but will gladly increase the difficulty whenever I can.

Spoiler: Skills (click to show/hide)

Fencing: Improves your ability to make and design fences of all types. Hmm? Oh, not that type of fencing, got it. Fencing is one of the most useful skills in the game, as it increases your speed in a swordfight. Honestly, it seems like you pull out your sword at every chance you get. Boarding a ship? Whip out your sword and go after the captain. Guy pissing off a barmaid? challenge him to a duel and beat him bloody. Well, no actual blood is shown in this game, but you get my point. In fact, you even get to use your sword when courting a governor's daughter. But not in that way, ya pervert. You use it against the other suitors who want her hand in marriage. Geez.

Gunnery: Improves your ability to fire and load cannons. Apparently you turn into some sort of super gunner with this skill, what with your ability to fire and load every single cannon on your ship, even if you are packing 48 of them. This skill isn't that useful. As a pirate, sinking an enemy ship before you can board it isn't a sound business strategy. Of course we could easily sweep an enemy vessel clean with the buzzing angry swarms known as grapeshot, which is highly useful.

Navigation: The general 'meh' skill of the game. Sure, we could become a super gunner, or Zorro's ancestor, but meh. We'll just pick the skill that makes us sail faster. Really, the other skills are cool and all (except medicine), but this skill is used all the time right? Sure, we'll get blown to pieces or hacked apart, but we'll get there in less time!

Medicine: The crappiest skill in the game. Medicine reduces the effects of aging over the course of the game, which slows down your reflexes and charm sharm. Of course, when it becomes actually useful, we should be fabulously rich and famous and not actually need it. If you need less incentive to pick this skill (I know I don't) this game will probably die before medicine is useful. Just a thought.

Charm Sharm: Your skill at seducing the opposite sex. However, the New World is a total mast party, in the fact that it's filled with both ships and men (See what I did there?). The only females you'll meet are barmaids and governor's daughters. As barmaids are instantly attracted to your manly good looks, this skill only affects governor's daughters. However it is more useful then it seems. With it we could leave a string of broken hearts in our wake. More importantly, the governor's daughters are not above giving us juicy gossip and convincing their fathers to give us important commissions. I would imagine that the latter involves a lot of whining and complaining.

Spoiler: Time Periods (click to show/hide)

1600-Merchants and Smugglers (presumably the two are interchangeable):
After plundering the Americas and enslaving the natives, the Spanish have run into some trouble, namely that they have no one left to plunder/enslave. While the Spanish cities are mostly defenceless, a lack of slaves makes them Spanish cities all poor, limiting our chancing for wholesale looting and pillaging. The theme of this scenario is trading, if you couldn't figure out from the title. Almost all of the Caribbean is controlled by the Spanish in this time period, with a few English/Dutch cities here and there.
If you want to see me sail around trying to earn a profit, then this is the scenario for you.

1620-The New Colonists (like the same old colonists):
After two decades of economic rule, Spanish America is still dirt poor. The only upshot over two decades ago is that Europe is ablaze with religious tensions, which translates into wars, which translates into opportunities for privateering. Spain still controls most of the map, though France, Britain and the Netherlands are all trying to muscle in (no idea why, the Caribbean is still poor). Being a pirate is profitable in this scenario, as long as we curry favour with anybody but Spain.
If you want to give Spain a good thrashing (and who doesn't now and again?), this is the scenario for you.

1640-War for Profit (The best kind of war):
Spain is becoming even more weak in the Caribbean (surprise!). With the Thirty Years war just about done, everyone is turning their eyes to the west, mostly wondering how to rip the blunder out of Spain's rapidly decaying empire. As far as I can tell, this scenario is like the previous scenario, but with a weaker Spain and a stronger Britain/France/Netherlands. If you're sensing a theme so far, congratulations, you aren't the only one.
Like all the scenarios before this one, Spain will eventually end up getting ruthlessly attacked and plundered.

1660-The Buccaneer Heroes (Like Guitar Hero but with more plundering):
Spain, after years of defeats and setbacks is finally recovering back into the superpower it was I'm kidding. Spain is even more weak and pitiful then before. This scenario is the default one, and it's easy to see why. Spain is in shambles, and France, Britain and the Netherlands finally have a big enough presence to be worth looting. The wars in Europe are almost non-stop, meaning that privateering has never been more easy and fun. Military presence is lax at best, and it would be fairly easy for us to stomp all up and down the Caribbean.
If you want to wuss out and go with the default scenario, here it is.

1680-Pirate's Sunset (AKA: We felt sorry for Spain):
This is the only scenario where loyally helping Spain is profitable and fun. Not because Spain is any stronger (God no), but because the other nations are bigger and juicier. The only problem with this scenario is that the nations in the Caribbean have wised up. Military ships are much more common, and cities are better fortified. Trade and wealth has increased as well, so the rewards are certainly worth plundering with your own two hands. Just expect to be paying a lot more danger pay to your crew if you choose this scenario.
If you actually like Spain, pick this scenario, please. They'll even throw in a Magic Bullet for free (just pay shipping and handling).

[Neonivek]

Actually Incognito is a nice name assuming it isn't default.

My vote is Dutch so we can move our ship faster by blowing wind into our sails using windmills.

[Bdthemag]

English!

[USEC_OFFICER]

Actually Incognito is a nice name assuming it isn't default.

Sorry, but it's default. We'll have to pick another name.

[IronyOwl]

My vote is Dutch so we can move our ship faster by blowing wind into our sails using windmills.

This is about as sensible as any choice I can think of.

Actually, who's the one reclining with a sneer? I like that guy. Let's go with him.


As for name, mostly drawing a blank. James is all I can think of, and that's because he looks vaguely like Jamie from Game of Thrones.

[Stworca]

Admiral Rockhard!
or
Long Tube John
or
Captain Man Ure

[breadbocks]

Name: Inigo Montoya
Race Nationality: dirty liar Spaniard
Skill: Fencing (Or Gunner if we can get fencing later. Never played Pirates!.)


Can you finish the descriptions of the times so we can decide on that too?

[USEC_OFFICER]

Actually, who's the one reclining with a sneer? I like that guy. Let's go with him.

Mr. Non-Silly-Headgear is a Spanish captain.

Name: Inigo Montoya
Race Nationality: dirty liar Spaniard
Skill: Fencing (Or Gunner if we can get fencing later. Never played Pirates!.)

We only get one skill at the start, and we can't change it later.

Can you finish the descriptions of the times so we can decide on that too?

I'm finished. If were to be Spanish, we should choose the very last scenario, unless we want to end up dirt poor in an alley somewhere.

[KaguroDraven]

Spanish, Last Scenario, Fenceing.
Question. Are Ships of the Line in this Scenario? If so, steal atleast one, what you do with it I don't care, just steal one.

[USEC_OFFICER]

Question. Are Ships of the Line in this Scenario? If so, steal atleast one, what you do with it I don't care, just steal one.

Ships of the Line should be in the scenario. According to the manual, they're the scariest thing on the waters, packing the largest amount of cannon for any ship in the game (48, to be exact). Mind you, once we actually board them those cannons would count for squat as I brutally crush the captain in a one-on-one duel.

[KaguroDraven]

They are Fun, I've played this before just not the last Scenario. Insanely powerful in the player's hands, but they are Fun to go up against with a tiny ship.

[RF]

Name: Inigo Montoya
Race Nationality: dirty liar Spaniard
Skill: Fencing (Or Gunner if we can get fencing later. Never played Pirates!.)

This.

[Detonate]

Actually, who's the one reclining with a sneer? I like that guy. Let's go with him.

Mr. Non-Silly-Headgear is a Spanish captain.

I thought it went like this, from left to right, but it's been a while since I've played: French,
Spanish, Dutch (Mr. Non-Silly-Headgeer the Sneerer), English.

Like any sensible Dutchman, we must be named Jan Kees, start at the Buccaneer Heroes, with skill in Medicine.

[monk12]

Name: Inigo Montoya
Race Nationality: dirty liar Spaniard
Skill: Fencing (Or Gunner if we can get fencing later. Never played Pirates!.)

This.

You enslave my family! Prepare to die.

+1

[RF]

Let's go with Pirate's Sunset because it sounds fun, too.