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[quinnr]

Something Improbable!
As you're walking around, admiring the sights, a wizened old woman approaches.

Her greying hair stands out in shock, and her nose is hooked and gnarled.It takes all your willpower not to run away from this ghastly sight.

She smiles the most evil looking smile you have ever encountered.

"Hello, warrior!Enjoying your visit?"

Before you can answer, she breaks into song.

You remember watching Improbable Island on TV, what seems like a million years ago - before you were kidnapped and forced to participate. The theme song applied over all the shots of NewHome comes back to haunt you now, as the old woman sings:

"You might start off as a man,
"But you fight just as hard as you can,
"Run into the jungle, you fight and you fumble, and try to avoid getting baaaa-aaaanned!

"Then later you get blown to bits,
"And you wake up with two extra *ahem*,
"All the possibilities of Improbability force their way into your bits!

"But NewHome is full of noobs!
"YES, NewHome is full of noobs!
"Don't taunt them too much,
"'cause you were once such,
"And you were one hell of a rube,
"SO! NewHome is full of noobs,
"WOO! NewHome is full of noobs!
"One day they'll be strong,
"And it won't take too long,
"And then they'll come looking for YOU!"

You beat your head against a nearby rock until the song goes away.

You shudder and head away quickly.

Anyways, doing Bd's suggestion right now
EDIT: We had enough cash to get the second level of weapon and armor, so I did that.

Also, if you have any questions, just ask!

EDIT2: In interest of not wasting an entire game day, I went ahead and grinded the first level and beat the master:

"Aye, you're getting the trick of that Butter Knife now, Armok. Good work."
You have defeated Tom Carney!
You advance to level 2!
Your maximum hitpoints are now 20!
You gain an attack point!
You gain a defense point!
You have a new master.

You gain a level in Spatial Awareness to 1!
Only 2 more skill levels until you gain an extra use point!

2 more levels till our Spatial Awareness becomes awesome.

Also, we have approximately 300req to spend at the moment, and 0 cigs.

[quinnr]

Spoiler: An Improbable event! (click to show/hide)

Who's this?
Another minute in NewHome, another naked person. Growing slowly accustomed to all the wobbly bits on display, you don't notice this particular naked person until she catches your eye, waves, and shouts "Hey!"

You've never seen her before. You wave politely back, before realising that if she's simply a random crazy naked person waving at you for no reason in particular, waving back could turn out to be a mistake.

She scurries over to you, through the throng of people. "I saw you before," she says when she's within crazystabbing range. "You're the one who fell before I did."

Oh hell, she really is crazy. "The one who fell before you did?" you ask, very politely, hoping that you're not about to receive some sort of crazysermon, or even the previously-feared crazystabbings. Shit, I made eye contact, that means we're married now...

She points upwards. "From the plane? You were talking to that mad woman with the glasses and the red turtleneck?" She gestures briefly to a bruise across her belly. "I landed in the tree, and she made fun of my cellulite?"

Recognition dawns, and the crazyfear subsides a little. "Yeah, I remember. Sorry I didn't recognise you, only I hadn't..." The natural awkwardness of being in a place full of naked people slowly makes itself known. "Um. I hadn't seen your face."

The brunette senses the awkwardness, and hangs her hat upon it. "Only my arse," she says happily.

"Only your arse, yes," you sigh. "Not an ideal way to get acquainted."

"Then let's start again. Hello!" she cries, holding up a hand and waving.

She's kind of infectious. You can't help but grin and play along. "Hello!"

"I'm Jill," she says, holding out her hand.

You take it, and give it as much of a shake as seems polite. " Armok. New in town."

"Hey, me too!" she grins. "So..." she hesitates. "Weird question, but can I buy you a coffee?"

You look at Jill for a moment. She's still naked, still unarmed, and her bandolier is empty. You're about to ask her whether it'd be a better idea to spend her money on equipment, when she catches your eye and her smile, although still present in her lips, seems to die from the eyes up.

"Please talk to me before I go crazy," says Jill, very quietly. "Just a few minutes with someone still as confused as I am, that's all I'm after."

What do you say to that?

Do we want to talk to Jill?

Also, I'll just ask the second question right now: If we want to talk to Jill, do we want Jill to be our companion and come with us?

[Bdthemag]

Yes, talk to Jill and make her your companion. She's annoying at first, because she die's in almost all normal fights so you have to do easy ones. And you have to split all of the cash you get with her, but once you finish doing it all she gives you some cigerettes. So DO EET!

[quinnr]

Done
A tear fell from my eye. I shall miss you Jill (no, not really).

So, what shall we do now people, keep grinding to level 3? Do something else?

[Bluerobin]

I don't know what the "something else" options are. I read something about "casting insults." Are they like magic? Also, what is Timed Combat, what's it do, and how do you learn it/teach it? And is there a wiki or something to figure out what's possible?

Edit: just figured out that the link in the first post is to a wiki

[quinnr]

The wiki is called the "Wiki of Lies", and all but the newbie pages are pretty useless.

Not sure about insults.

If you get online and go in NewHome right now, I'll teach you Timed Combat, and it has a nice explanatory PM to go with it. Basically, if you hit at the right exact time (4-7 secs), you do double damage and have double defense for the round.

As for other things we could do...we could head over to another Outpost, like Kittania, and learn how to cook. I'm...not sure much else we can do as we are only level 2 right now.

[Bdthemag]

Also, a good way to get money early on is to get 3 BANG grenades every day and just sell them. But I suggest you just start killing stuff and show us the particuarly funny events that happen.

[quinnr]

Also, a good way to get money early on is to get 3 BANG grenades every day and just sell them. But I suggest you just start killing stuff and show us the particuarly funny events that happen.

That's what I was planning on doing.
I doubt everyone wants to see logs of every battle..so I'll be picking out the funniest and important things that happen to post

[noah22223]

Hey quinn, I just camera poked you. 

[quinnr]

That's...not nice. It reduces your stamina for the next day by a TON :O
Also, me or Armok?

[noah22223]

Armok.

[quinnr]

I...can't really see Armok being happy with you. I'd be careful when you sleep tonight.
How would you feel if someone put a camera up there?

[noah22223]

Time to poke quinnr, too!
EDIT: damn, you were to asleep D:

[quinnr]

All people in favor of Camera Poking Noah when we die, say "Aye!"

(It really isn't any trouble, and it'll get revenge for the large stamina reduction we will have next game day..)

[noah22223]

Nay!