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[quinnr]

Maybe a good point, hmm... I'd not really considered how things might be different at stronger ranks. I guess we'd have to do a number comparison to see what the relative advantages are, and which one is most likely to raise the DPS. And I suppose health regen would be a lot less useful at higher levels due to the increased health amounts being worked with. Hmmm.

Yeah, the higher ranks start to be a pain, starting at about 4. (1.5x difficulty). And it starts to get more difficult at the higher levels in those ranks, as well, since you can't get better armor to keep up, eventually.

[Magentawolf]

Oh, yeah - I've even got the Rusty Chainsaw that's supposed to be a 20% debuff to the opponent's attack, and it's a pain. Admittedly, I'm still doing Big trouble for just about every fight, it just sucks the profit up into the medics tent.

[GlyphGryph]

The only problem with defense buffs I see is they technically don't 'last' as long. Attack buffs end the battle faster, which effectively give you more rounds of buffs. Of course, if you're spending the money from each battle to get you back to full health... hmm...

Have you unlocked any of the percent based armors yet? I'm of the understanding that unlocking those is the key to success at higher ranks.

[quinnr]

The only problem with defense buffs I see is they technically don't 'last' as long. Attack buffs end the battle faster, which effectively give you more rounds of buffs. Of course, if you're spending the money from each battle to get you back to full health... hmm...

Have you unlocked any of the percent based armors yet? I'm of the understanding that unlocking those is the key to success at higher ranks.

Nope. That's why I'm likely going to delay my one rank per DK thing. I don't wanna torture myself.

And I have a solution: How about we just max all of the buffs?

[GlyphGryph]

That's going to take an incredibly long time. Even many of the established and chock full clans tend not to have maxed out buffs, and I guarantee I'm not going to be playing continuously from now until that happens.

Dropping a hundred real life dollars on cigs probably wouldn't even get us more than a third of the way...

[GlyphGryph]

Update on recent happenings, in which Glyph tries his darndest to burn down IC, and turns the fountain into a haven for sea creatures

Spoiler: A Burning Good Time (click to show/hide)

------------------
--At The Library--
------------------
Male Zombie [01d01h] Glyph McGriffin finally finds the time to return to the Library. He hopes Akitsu didn't mind him having to leave so quickly last time. Looking around, he notices no one is here - ah well, that's fine, he's particularly interested in checking out the books anyway.
Male Zombie [01d01h] Glyph McGriffin begins the climb up the Main Stairs. Oh, how he hates stairs.
--Heading to the stairs--
Male Zombie [01d01h] Glyph McGriffin shambles miserable up the stairs. It's always stairs.
--Heading into the Library proper--
Male Zombie [01d01h] Glyph McGriffin gazes around the room, his jaw hanging open a bit. "Well now. That's a sight for sore eyes, it is. Heh. Lovely."
Male Zombie [01d01h] Glyph McGriffin spends quite a while perusing the shelves, occassionally having his servo arms pull a book from a shelf to be added to the steadily growing pile in his arms.
Male Zombie [01d01h] Glyph McGriffin, satisfied with his choices, heads out to the Balcony.
--Heading out to the Balconey--
Male Zombie [01d01h] Glyph McGriffin sits gentle in the rocking chair. "Ah... perfect." He pulls a pipe out from somewhere in his rabbit suit, stuffs it with tobacco, and begins an exciting journey into the world of words. He reads for several hours straight.
Male Zombie [01d01h] Glyph McGriffin eventually, however, begins to nod off, his eyes having trouble staying open, and the words begin to run together. "Just... one more..." he yawns. "Chapter." he finishes, and packs one last batch of tobacco into his pipe.
Male Zombie [01d01h] Glyph McGriffin doesn't finish. Seconds later, the books falls from his hands (perching itself quite Improbably safely and neatly atop the pile he brought out) as he nods off, head dipping forward, the pipe popping out of his mouth to land in his lap.
Male Zombie [01d28s] Glyph McGriffin, several minutes later, lazily opens one of his eyes and takes a little snf, on of his nostrils flaring a bit. "s'That smoke?" He looks around a bit, confused. Where is he? What was...? Ah. Yes. The Library
Male Zombie [01d35s] Glyph McGriffin thinks a bit to himself. Strange. Nothing seems to be... he looks down. "Oh." he says. "Darn." Bolting from the chair, the crotch and a leg of his rabbit suit going up in flames, he overbalances himself goes right over the railing.
Male Zombie [01d38s] Glyph McGriffin lets out a "Aaaaaa-" from the other side of the railing, gradually receding in volume, and then follows it up with an "aaahoOOf" as he hits the ground below. This is accompanied by a loud thump, and then followed by a fwoof and a yell.
--Back outside--
Cue Glyph running around several squares on fire, yelling about how he's on fire, until arriving in...

----------------------
--Improbable Central--
----------------------
Male Zombie [01d32s] Glyph McGriffinruns into town, wreathed in a ball of flame. In case there was any doubt among the onlookers as to whether or not this was simply the natural state of things or something more dire, he accompanies the running with cries of "Halp! I'm on fire! Argh!"
Male Joker [01d21s] Notable Badass Harris , begging the lady's pardon, turns and helpfully trips the man, then commences to roll him back and forth on the ground like a great screaming lump of dough.
Male Zombie [01d04s] Glyph McGriffin, waving his arms and blinded by the smoke, trips over an unexpected foot. As he crashes into the ground, his jaw finally finishes detaching, bouncing up through the air and crashing through a nearby window. He is then rolled around quite roughly.
[01d29s] Wild Thing Marly skips just out of way, so as not to hinder the proceedings. "Should I go send for the fire brigade?" That would involve founding it, but... "Maybe there's one in the Bingo Hall," she muses quietly.
Male Zombie [01d53s] Glyph McGriffin is, thankfully, no longer on fire. He is also, somehow, to his chagrin, still wearing that god darned cursed rabbit suit. Sitting up, still smoldering, he tries to get off a Thank ya but only manages a "Aggh Ugh"
Male Joker [01d53s] Notable Badass Harris eyes the dubious nature of the fire's extinguishing, and nods. "Absolutley. THat blue-haired girl, she's often by the water, is she not? What about her?"
Male Alien Elementalist [01d00s] Corporal Rucin walks out of the Haberdashery, a jaw stuck loosely upon his shoulder. "Excuse me, but did somebody...um, is anyone missing their lower jaw?"
Male Zombie [01d27s] Glyph McGriffin looks around worried. "Uh Ugch. Hugh ehlyuh hlee augh aww"
Male Joker [01d01s] Notable Badass Harris smiles broadly then frowns in rapid succesion as he realizes the falmes he was watching were the ones his dice are now engulfed in. "SCHIESSE!", he comments, leaping on them.
Male Zombie [01d38s] Glyph McGriffin feels frantically at his face, but finds along the teeth of his upper jaw and a hanging tongue. This is... not good.
[01d08s] Wild Thing Marly looks at the storefront with the broken window and starts warming up her excuses. She didn't do it, she was in Madagascar, didn't she pay them last week? Her attention is dragged back to the companions du jour at Harris's exclamation. "Sauerkraut?"
[01d38s] Wild Thing Marly quickly starts flapping her tie at the engulfed dice.
Male Alien Elementalist [01d52s] Corporal Rucin blinks as he hears the name of his favorite cabbage treat, "They have sauerkrautr on the island now? May I have some?"
Male Zombie [01d23s] Glyph McGriffin looks to Rucin. "Agh houghch hloahchragh lash ugh hlungugch"
Male Joker [01d00s] Notable Badass Harris stands from his frantic crouch, now triumphantly wielding the flaming dice inbetween two (now somewhat flaming as well) sticks. "Well, you know what they say about fire and dice."
[01d19s] Wild Thing Marly gives up and flips her tie over her shoulder. "Never go to Vegas?" She gives Rucin a hopeless look and a shrug. "You'd have to catch the cabbages first. Last I saw them, Eben was chasing them quite desperately. Escemfer quite less desperately."
Male Joker [01d09s] Notable Badass Harris nods his assent to her understanding of the situation. He grins a white grin at her. "In a pinch, hotdogs and lemonade!"
[01d59s] Wild Thing Marly's stomach growls. Ooh. "...Lemonade. Meat." She eyes Harris, then Glyph, then Rucin. Hrm. Too thin, too... zombie, too... cheesy.
[01d51s] Wild Thing Marly sighs.
Male Alien Elementalist [01d36s] Corporal Rucin, unaware of how his clothing may have saved him, eyes the fellow zombie. Lifting up his shoulder, he says, "I suppose that this would be yours, then. Need help reattaching it?" He offers the zombie the jawbone.
Male Joker [01d07s] Notable Badass Harris extends a servo arm from his jacket (his fleshy ones being a bit precpccupied) and crooks it for Marly. "Come, Watson!" he declaims, gesturing with his now midsized fire. "The picnic's afoot!"
Male Zombie [01d56s] Glyph McGriffin, watching as Rucin leans through the broken window and grabs the jaw from the steadily spreading fire, nods as it is handed back to him. He also gestures to the flames still coming off it, though they are already burning themselves out.
[01d22s] Wild Thing Marly looks at the arm, then at the dice, and does the only sensible thing a lazy monster can do. She hops up and perches best as she can on the extended servo. "I say, Holmes!"
Male Joker [01d54s] Notable Badass Harris remembers at last to tip his hat to his new co-conspirators in arsonous luncheon. "Harris Euegene Doubledon, at your service, Sirs. I do believe some saurkraut tried to eat my leg on my way through the gates; I shall hunt it down and kill it-"
Male Alien Elementalist [01d50s] Corporal Rucin eyes the fire, and snuffs it between his backpack and a good hankerchief. "Here you go, now hold still..." He does his best to line up the bone and force it back into its proper sockets. "You still might want to see the medic about that."
Male Zombie [01d23s] Glyph McGriffin pulls a package of various leatherworking needles and several spools of different weight threads from his bag, miraculously undamaged by the fire.
Male Joker  Notable Badass Harris inclines his head to Rucin "and we shall, of course, save you, Sir, the brain." He inclines his head to McGriffin, then turns on his heel and speeds off into the jungle, carefully balancing fanged woman and fire with athletic grace.
Male Zombie  Glyph McGriffin speaks as best he can through the poorly attached jaw. "hYugh heny gooh whith a nheeghle han gthred"
Offline Male Human  Hermes emerges from Shiela's shack, fiddling with his shiny invisisuit until it "blends" into his coat to become formalwear. Satisfied, he whistles his way across town.
Wild Thing Marly balances with less athletic and more carefully-clinging grace as they run off into the jungles.
Male Alien Elementalist  Corporal Rucin pieces together the guestion, and shakes his head. "Well, I'm just barely able to use them properly, but I can do so if it's an emergency."
Male Zombie  Glyph McGriffin moans. "hyighm fyighn whigth hwaght hyi kgchen sghee, rugh hyi gchencht sghee brghy hfras."
Male Zombie  Glyph McGriffin he pushes the kit towards Rucin, clearly distraught by his inability to speak. He'd let his Servo arms handle it, but he learned a long time ago not to trust them with those sort of tasks.
Male Alien Elementalist  Corporal Rucin shrugs. "Okay, whatever you say." Or whatever you said, he thinks, as he begins sewing the Zombie jaw back into its proper position.
Male Zombie  Glyph McGriffin waits patiently for him to finish the task.
Male Alien Elementalist  Corporal Rucin tightens the ends of a few little knots, then steps back to admire his work. "Okay, I've finished. Is that feeling better now? Not feeling, but...you know what I mean."
Male Zombie  Glyph McGriffin nods and shifts it around a bit. Not bad. Felt better than it has for a while, too. "Not bad, ah think. Heh, ya even got that hole in the side that was frustratin' me so. Thanks a heap. I'm Glyph, by the way."
Male Zombie  Glyph McGriffin offers a hand to shake. "Like I said, I normally take care of tha' sort of stuff myself, but I don't have much of a sense o'touch, so it it's hard when I can't see what I'm workin' on."
Male Zombie  Glyph McGriffin grins. "And I've always been pretty bad with mirrors."
Male Alien Elementalist  Corporal Rucin shakes the hand firmly. "And my name's Rucin. Glad to have been useful. And I know what you mean about the mirrors, I thnk."
Male Zombie  Glyph McGriffin asks "So who was that man who kindly put me out earlier? And should we do something about that?" he asks, thumbing towards the nearby building which is having a go at seeing if it can't upgrade from middling bonfire to blazing inferno.
Male Alien Elementalist  Corporal Rucin's blank, dead eyes reflect the sparkling flames of the burning building as he surmises the situation. "I'm not really sure who it was that put you out, I don't think I've met him before. As for the fire; yeah, we should try to get it under control."
Male Zombie  Glyph McGriffin turns to look at the building as well. It's going pretty strong. "Any ideas?"
Male Zombie  Glyph McGriffin thinks for a bit. "We could hope it starts raining. That seems unlikely enough to work."
Male Alien Elementalist  Corporal Rucin thinks, and shakes his head. "I can't rea;;y think of anything. Well, one thing, but it's a terrible idea. Want to try it?"
Male Zombie  Glyph McGriffin shrugs and chuckles a bit. "Well, I can't imagine it could make things much worse. And well, if it did, that would likely be impressive enough to be worth it, I think. Whats the idea?"
Male Alien Elementalist  Corporal Rucin debates his morals abit, then shrugs and runs into eBoy's. "I'll be right back."
Male Alien Elementalist  Corporal Rucin returns from eBoy's, slightly bewildered. "I tried to buy it, but eBoy said that this one was on the house...That's really unlike him. Anyway, here's my idea." He holds up an improbability bomb.
Male Zombie  Glyph McGriffin eyes widen. "Genius!"
Male Zombie  Glyph McGriffin turns to the flames and grins. Yep, this will definitely either fix the problem, or make it spectacular. He just hopes he doesn't end up on fire again... he backs a ways away from Rucin and the flames. "Capital! Let 'er rip!"
Male Alien Elementalist  Corporal Rucin nods, and solemly strikes a match. As soon as he does, he realizes that he just wasted a match, and tosses the unlit improbability bomb into the flames. "Deimos, incoming! Let the actual fire light the wick, duh," he shouts, then mutters.
Male Zombie  Glyph McGriffin dives to the ground, peeking through his fingers, barely concealed glee on his face. He can't wait to see...
Male Alien Elementalist  Corporal Rucin turns to Glyph and explains, "I've had those things blow up in my face before, you see. they can be nasty little tricks, but they can also work wonders."
Male Alien Elementalist  Corporal Rucin has barely finished explaining when a flash of light shines out through the fire, followed by an immense splash as several hundred cubic feet of water and a school of fish are improbably transported into the hat shop, flooding out the windows.
Male Zombie  Glyph McGriffin is promptly picked up by the rush of water filling the square and floated back several feet, whooping and hollering with glee.
Male Zombie  Glyph McGriffin the grenade seems to have summoned small lake. Perfect. No, wait... not a lake! Those look like ocean-dwelling fish.
Male Alien Elementalist  Corporal Rucin squeals, but in shock rather than merriment. "Oh no; what have I done!? Those poor fishies!" He pulls a fishbowl helmet off of a passing human and begins scooping up little puddles of fish.
Male Zombie  Glyph McGriffin gets to his feet, and points a bit. "Uh..." while the building is no longer raging with flames, many of the fish flopping about the square ARE. He's not exactly sure how that happened, though. He shrugs and decides to ignore it.
Male Zombie  Glyph McGriffin pulls a fishbowl out of his own pack, and follows Rucin's leading, scooping up dozens of the fish, and then transporting them to the central fountain.
Male Zombie  Glyph McGriffin leaves the ones that are on fire. That will handle itself soon enough, and then dinner will be ready.
Male Alien Elementalist  Corporal Rucin blinks. "Are you sure they'll be okay in the fountain? These look like ocean-dwelling fish..." A very confused scuba diver wanders into the street, and falls over violently onto the dirt.
Male Zombie  Glyph McGriffin raises an eyebrow. "Ah, yes, good point... Put em in there for now anyways, and give me a minute."
Male Zombie  Glyph McGriffin heads into one of the shops that isn't burned down or flooded.
Male Alien Elementalist  Corporal Rucin nods, and hurriedly empties the fishbowl and begins collecting more fish. He ignores the traumatized human suffering from the bends.
Male Zombie  Glyph McGriffin emerges a short time later, stepping over the writhing diver, with a large sack of sugar. No, wait. Salt. Yeah, salt. Well, some sort of white stuff anyways. He gives Rucin a big thumbs up, rips it open, and pours it into the fountain. "There!"
Male Alien Elementalist  Corporal Rucin nods happily, as he empties his third fishbowl into the fountain--just before the angry female contestant that he snatched it from forces him to hand it back. "Well, that's almost all of them...most of the ones I could see, at least."
Male Zombie  Glyph McGriffin mutters something about how he's at least pretty sure its not cocaine. Not for that price.
Male Zombie  Glyph McGriffin tries pouring some water over one of the flaming fishes, but it only seems to make the fire worse. They'll just have to wait on those ones. He takes the last few non-burny fish and dumps 'em in the fountain, though a good number of em were dead.
Male Zombie  Glyph McGriffin shrugs. Maybe they'll get better. Never know.
Male Alien Elementalist  Corporal Rucin tastes the fountain. Yep, that seems to be salt water, allright. Some kind of salt.
Male Zombie  Glyph McGriffin finally notices some of the burny fish have stopped burning. He picks one up and takes a bite out of it. Not bad! He offers one to Rucin. "Now for a break after a job well done. Quick thinking there! You're a smart guy."
Male Zombie  Glyph McGriffin, satisfied the crisis is averted, saunters into the jungle to beat in some monster heads.

[GlyphGryph]

Last self-bump, I promise not to do another reply until someone else has posted in this thread.

I drew a picture though, and it was fun - if anyone else wants a picture of their character, let me know, I'll see what I can do.

[quinnr]

That is...quite traumatizing and freaky awesome at the same time. I think next easter I'll take that image and explain that those arms is how the bunny hides so many eggs so fast.

I should do something awesome like that some time, I wish I could find a real mouse though, laptop touchpads are BAD for art (at least for me...).

 

[GlyphGryph]

I actually drew that by hand, and just color filled/combined/moved stuff around on the computer. (I tend to draw things in pieces and put them together later, bad habit, the bunny suit and each arm were drawn individually)

That is why it is so terribad, but not nearly as terribad as it could have been, heh.

Quinnr, since you're one of the possibly two people who bothers to read my updates, should I bother posting my most recent logs? They are really rather long, though, might be easier to just summarize:
Summary:
I run into Krys and someone else while checking out the Bordello, despite intending to just peek in and then slip back out.
Feeling awkward with the conversation, I grabbed some booze.
The booze at the Bordello is really quite strong, and Krys+companion drifted off while I was drinking, so I headed to Kittania.
There I ran into someone named Esme, who brought me BACK to the Bordello on account of how I looked like I was going to fall over and drown in the dirt at any moment and it was the safest place she could think of to leave me.
One thing led to another, I had a fight with the chandeliers in an attempt to destroy their steak-cookie baking mind control rays, found one of the Bordello bean bags was stuffed with delicious chocolate beans, and woke up in the morning hangover-free  (if still slightly drunk) with a lizard girl and a catgirl cuddled up with me, both of whom I'd apparently extended invites to join our clan (though they may or may not, don't know yet).

In other news
How many new members do I need to pull in to get another promotion?

[quinnr]

Leader is the highest rank. You can't upgrade to founder, and only difference between founder and leader is that the Founder can't be removed or downgraded except by themselves.

And I like the summaries, it makes it easier to read
And the Bordello is scary.

[GlyphGryph]

How do we add more ranks so I can get promoted more?

[quinnr]

How do we add more ranks so I can get promoted more?

You don't. I suppose you could move everyone else down to officer to make you feel more important?

Or you could make a new clan so you have Founder status?

Also, Glyph and I have decided to start kidnapping people and torturing them until they join our clan! Muahahaha!

[Magentawolf]

And the Bordello is scary.

Bah, you're just anti-comfort! ... And I was wondering why my beanbag was deflated in the morning.

[GlyphGryph]

Glyph McGriffin pushed through the thick vegetation of the jungle. He was finally comfortable here in this place, on the Island. The fighting was fun, more fun than his training had led him to believe. He'd made friends, had some good times, and eaten things he thought he'd never get the chance to eat. Like more Braaaains than he could stake a chick at. He'd obviously finally got the hang of things with the ladies here, if yesterday morning was anything to go by, and he was beginning to think he could take anything the Island could throw at him. He'd knew about the Drive of course, the thing he was here to kill, but he doubted even it would stand a chance before his fists of fury.

The only thing that still irked him was this god damn rabbit suit. He couldn't get the bloody thing off. He didn't know what Sheila had done to it, but nothing worked. Burning, cutting, shredding, selling, even unzipping it had all proved futile. And Sheila would just laugh and laugh. God. Damn it.

Well, he'd heard some pretty crazy stuff could happen if you fought the Drive... maybe that was the key to finally freeing himself of this curse! And then, before him, stood the decrepit stairs that led down to the New Pittsburgh Laboratory. He knew there were similar labs across the Island, and as he kicked open the doors, he knew his chances of finding the drive on a first go were slim. So be it, he wasn't in a hurry. He worked his way through tunnels and rooms for several minutes before finding a set of doors that were locked and bolted. He shrugged, breaking the lock with a slam of his fists, and pushed his way through. As the doors swung shut behind him, creaking madly, he looked around at the room.

It was dark, lit only by the occasional stream of light struggling through the cracked and root-ridden ceiling, but he could tell it was large. The floor was covered in rubble and blood. An EXIT sign flickered above the door behind him, and lines of blood marred its cold metal surface. The air hung heavy, and stale. Lovely place, he thought to himself. He felt something small hit his shoulder and spread a bit. Something wet. He leaned over to give it a sniff. Hmm. Oil.

Oil.

Slowly, he raised his gaze. There, clinging to the ceiling, it's single eye flashing wildly, was the drive. "Bloody 'ell, why do they always have ta be on the bloody ceiling! Git down 'ere ya roight bastard!" he called up at the thing. It was going to be a bloody repeat of the chandelier episode at this rate. [color]"Get down 'ere right this instant, ya blood-flickered ass-snot!"[/color]

The Drive obliged, dropping from the ceiling and nearly clipping the zombie as he dove out of the way. The room shook, dust raising from the floor, and the creatures weight left a large cracked area where it landed.
[color]"Roight then. That's better. Let's get to this, heh?"[/color]

The fight didn't last long. He was right, the Drive was no match for him. Or it was toying with him. He couldn't quite be sure. He was certainly surprised at how easily it went down. He was not surprised by the fact that it exploded, and he blacked out.

He wasn't sure of much of what followed. He remembered voices. He remembered seeing a particularly sexy looking pirate with an enormous hat. He remembered... he remembered seeing his suit lying several feet away from him on the ground, empty. He remembered feeling... satisfied. He slept with a smile.

----

Glyph's head was swimming. He didn't know how long he'd been out, be he felt like shit. He'd have gone right back to sleep if not for an incessant prodding against one of his cheeks. He finally gave in, opening an eye to see one of his Servo arms poking him over and over again. "Stop that, I'm up, I'm up, by the gods, heh, I'm up!" The arm stopped, and pulled itself back into the pack on his back. He was in his bed, in the clan.

In a rabbit suit. Bloody hell, how had he-

"Glyph!" came a voice, "You're up!" Quinnr strode into the room, stopping momentarily to cock his head, his huge hat nearly flying off as he did so. He pulled out a paper, signed his name, and tossed it over his shoulder. "Sorry about that, just had to okay a rookie joining the clan. Anyways, you had a bit of a close call there, buddy! The Drive blew you up good! You landed right in the middle of Global Banter!" he said. Glyph chose not to comment on how he could have possibly landed on a radio frequency. "And your suit fell off! No worries, though, we all had a good laugh about naked zombie cannonballs, then got you dressed back up again and delivered you to the clan hall to rest in peace."
"You bloody bastards put back o-"
"No need to thank me, just doing my job as a fellow clan member, Glyph! Anyways, since you had a run in with the drive, you're lucky I caught you before the Network folk did! The love to wipe memories, you know! Oh, and killing the Drive didn't stick, just thought you should know.."
Glyph scowled at him, and motioned for a mirror.
Quinnr laughed. "Don't be in such a hurry! You're still a zombie, nothing much has changed! If you want to use a mirror, use the one in the bathroom. I gotta get back to monster hunting anyways. Seeya!" And with that, he was gone.
Glyph dragged himself to his feet, and pulled himself over to the mirror.
The suit was orange now, instead of pink.
That was it. Well, except for the rude comments written all over his face with permanent marker.
"Arggggghhhhhhhh!!"

[GlyphGryph]

As he walked out the clan hall doors, THIS happened...
As you head into the Outpost, something big and black appears in front of you, moving at speed. It impacts on your face, knocking you on your back. As you push yourself up onto your elbows, you try to make sense of what just happened.

You're not entirely sure, but you think... as strange as it sounds... it might have been someone's arse.

You replay the scene - yup. Someone's arse, in a black skirt. You only know one person on this Island who wears a black skirt.

The Watcher - or at least, the top half of her - leans out of the air. Her bespectacled eyes lock onto yours, and her face lights up in a huge grin. "Hey, it's you! Well, isn't this a coincidence!" She reaches out to you. You extend a hand, ready for her to help you up and, perhaps, explain where her legs are - and why she just beat you to the ground with her now-invisible posterior.

Nothing of the sort happens. Instead, The Watcher expertly steals a cigarette from your pocket, lights it, gives you a cheery wink and leans back, disappearing right before your eyes.

You lie for a moment, staring at the space she just occupied.

"RIGHT THEN!" you cry, in the vain hope that The Watcher can still hear you. Birds scatter from the trees. "So THAT'S the sort of day this is going to be! OKAY! Thanks for the heads-up!" You get to your feet. "I'll expect to be mugged by a floating pair of boobs any second now!"

A passing contestant looks your way, lip curled up in distaste. "Weirdo," she mutters, before continuing on her way.