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[NewsMuffin]

Spoiler: Adwarf (click to show/hide)

A young man stood crouched behind a checkout isle in the supermarket with a Glock 9 in his hand he peekd over the counter, and saw a survivor picking through the store. Why is someone here, I just came to get some food^{comma not needed here} and water to take back to my base, but now I have deal with not getting caught by someone who could try,a dn kill me.^{this should be a comma, not a period} the man thought as he watched the  survivor waiting for her to leave.

You still have work to do, but you're improving.
I've annotated what you've written, and it doesn't appear that you checked over your writing.
This isn't really a grammar or spelling thing, but more of a character thing:
My character isn't exactly scary. I mean, yeah she's wearing a cop uniform and kevlar vest, but she's not exactly big or strong. She does have a gun though, but so do you.
If I seem naggy or mean, just tell me, and I'll lighten up.
However, you should understand that I'm just trying to help.

NewsMuffin hummed a happy little tune as she made her way out of the super market. As she made her way back to the door, she froze.
What was that? She thought, looking back over her shoulder at the checkout desks. She thought she could see something, but it was took dark to really be sure. She turned and backed her way to the door.
She let out a little yelp when her back hit the window pane.
She glanced around, and called out, "Hello?"

[adwarf]

The man crouched on the floor, and stayed perfectly quite, If I am silent she will leave without any trouble, and I won't have to waste energy, or bullets. Just as he finishes that thought he accidentally knocks over the pile of cans beside the register.

EDIT:

((Are we going to have zombies roam the streets at night, or just us, and the occasional bandit ?))

[NewsMuffin]

Spoiler: Adwarf (click to show/hide)

The man crouched on the floor, and stayed perfectly quite^{should be quiet}, If I am silent she will^{usually, thoughts use more conjunctions, this one would have been 'she'll'} leave without any trouble^{between here}, and I won't have to waste energy, or bullets^{and here wasn't really needed}. Just as he finishes that thought^{comma needed} he accidentally knocks over the^{this doesn't matter as much, but the 'the' could have been an 'a,' and it would've worked a bit better} pile of cans beside the register.

This post is a lot better. I mean, really. There are no direct spelling errors, and it made sense. Good job, keep it up.
Still have some word usage problem, but none of us are perfect. I still have a little trouble with tenses.

(That is a good question. I'd say that the Bandits are more active, and there is a slight chance of stumbling upon a heavily irradiated 'zombie.')
NewsMuffin shrieked, and raised her pistol. She tried to backpedal again, but just pressed harder against the glass. She lost her balance, and pitched over to the side, her pistol firing as it hit the ground. The gun slid out of her reach.
A few isles over, one of the cables holding a light fixture up snaps, and the fixture hands lopsided.

[adwarf]

The man jumps up, and points the gun at her seeing that she is sprawled on the floor he lets out a laugh, and puts his gun in its holster. "You are a klutz aren't you ? Well anyway I am Jack nice to meet you I hope this incident isn't a bad start. Do you need any help ?"

[NewsMuffin]

Spoiler: Adwarf (click to show/hide)

The man jumps up, and points the gun at her^{comma needed} seeing that she is sprawled on the floor^{comma needed} he lets out a laugh, and puts his gun in its holster^{that's a run on sentence. I know I make them way too often, but you should keep tabs on how long your sentences are}. "You are a klutz aren't you ^{why is there a space here?}? Well anyway I am Jack^{comma needed} nice to meet you^{comma needed} I hope this incident isn't a bad start. Do you need any help ?"

Still not bad, but you have to keep track of how long your sentences are, as well as where you put your commas.
But still, you are improving.

"Heh, yeah, that's me..." NewsMuffin muttered to herself as she got to her feet. She picked up her gun and holstered it.
"People call me NewsMuffin. Always have, and I don't really know why." She smiled, and checked her backpack to see if anything had broken. Luckily, nothing had.
"I, uh, have this little coffee shop not too far from here. I don't know if you have your own place, but you're welcome to come with me if you want."
She glanced outside.
"Wow, it's really getting dark..."

[adwarf]

"My place isn't far if you want you can stay there for tonight, and continue back to your place in the morning." Jack said as he picked up the two duffel bags off the floor, and puts his backpack on his back. "Well I got to get going if you want to come to my place follow me if not you can go to your place, but the bandits will be prowling about at night, so you should hurry." said Jack as he pulled his gun out, and began walking down the side street across from the supermarket.

[NewsMuffin]

Spoiler: Adwarf (click to show/hide)

"My place isn't far^{period needed, then capitalize the 'i' in 'if'} if you want you can stay there for tonight, and continue back to your place in the morning." Jack said as he picked up the^{the 'the' isn't needed} two duffel bags off the floor, and puts his backpack on his back^{the 'his back' isn't needed because you don't put a backpack on your front}. "Well I got to get going^{period, capitalize the I} if you want to come to my place^{comma needed} follow me^{period, capitalize the 'i'} if not you can go to your place,^{period here} but^{replace 'but' with 'however,'} the bandits will be prowling about at night, so you should hurry." said Jack as he pulled his gun out, and began walking down the side street across from the supermarket.

You are making good progress. Still, check those periods and commas.
Also, you spell 'guess' wrong. You spell it with a 'q' instead of a 'g'.

NewsMuffin looks around a bit. "Yeah. Yeah that's probably a good idea."
She gets her backpack into a comfortable position, and sets off with Jack.

(I'm probably going to get off now. I might be back on in a few minutes if my body says 'nope' to sleep.)

[adwarf]

After a couple of minutes the group arrives at a small house hidden between three apartment buildings as Jack unlocks the door he says "This place used to be the home of the grounds keeper for the mansion that used to stand where the north apartment building is. Now come on in I have to lock up the door, so go into the living room, and put your stuff down there is some food in the fridge beside the fireplace, but please be careful not to hurt my dogs."

[jc6036]

(how about the ghouls from the fallout universe? For those not familiar, ghouls are so heavily irradiated that they are rotting away while still alive. There are two types, feral, the more common type which runs and acts like a normal zombie, and regular, which are regular people, but afected by "the rot". Although ghouls prefer dark places, they will go out into sun light to attack other people. Generally, feral ghouls are pretty easy to kill, and often come in a group spread across a small area.)      Bill hears something running through the apartment building. Figuring that its another survivor, he goes upstairs to check it out.

[adwarf]

(how about the ghouls from the fallout universe? For those not familiar, ghouls are so heavily irradiated that they are rotting away while still alive. There are two types, feral, the more common type which runs and acts like a normal zombie, and regular, which are regular people, but afected by "the rot". Although ghouls prefer dark places, they will go out into sun light to attack other people. Generally, feral ghouls are pretty easy to kill, and often come in a group spread across a small area.)

(That seems fine we could also have small groups of bandits roaming around, and have them get in conflicts.)

[Talarion]

(( It all depends on how realistic you want this to be. I know for a fact that radiation doesn't work like that IRL, but I have no objections of you want to make it more fantastical...))

[adwarf]

(( Well I just like the element of actually having to hide at night because smethings out there, adn if you aren't prepared it will kill you. ))

[jc6036]

(well, the gm did use a line straight out of fallout 3 to open the thread, so im assuming that kind of thing is ok.)      Bill rounds the corner of one of the hallways, and what he sees sickens him. A humanoid figure bent over, with flesh hanging off of his body in flaps. Through the various holes in the body, bill can see internal organs, and the stench coming off the thing is nearly unbearable. "Hey feller, you okay?" The thing straightens up and stares at Bill malelovently, it walks towards him and begins to pick up speed. "Oh shit."  Bill turns and runs into one of the apartments, sticking a chair against the door. He beginr to frantically search for a weapon.

[Talarion]

Justin wakes up, with a yawn, and gears something upstairs. Rubbing his eyes, he berated himself for unintentionally falling asleep. He picked up the rifle and headed upstairs to check out the noise. He hears the noises coming from inside a room, and if he were a normal person he'd puke. Him being himself, he raises an eyebrow. "Well..." He is still slightly disturbed by the sight, and thankfully for him the... Thing... Is focussed on Bill.

(( Requesting permission for badassery moment, a la kicking the thing, then shooting it point-blank in the head with the rifle. :3? ))

[adwarf]

((Go ahead its not like your god modding, and these aren't very bright, and they have slow reflexes, so its plausible.))