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[NRDL]

Bump. 

[Fniff]

Eh...

I don't really like the idea of a new planet at all. It's not an apocalypse if it's just one planet. Let's just keep it to Earth, people.

*

Josef was so tired.

Hypersleep Tension, the robots had called it. You can't get to sleep, but you can't stay awake. You drift, hallucinating, through the area between sleep and awake. Most of the time, it takes about a day to shake off. Sometimes it takes years. Josef was counting on the day part. He sat down on the completely ruined couch, watching the room shake. No-one noticed him gripping the armrests too tightly. No-one really cared. After a nuclear war, you can't really care about anything. After a nuclear war, you couldn't care about anything, because the things you cared about the most are... Well, gone.

[Dsarker]

Running throughout TC-100101's logic circuits was an error message.

If it had been a spoken message, it might have gone something like this: "Error: Primary, secondary, and tertiary memory cores damaged. Quintary memory core destroyed. Personality files not found. Chassis damaged. Components L1, L2, R2 damaged. Recommend repair cycle and reload of memory cache from uplink. Error: uplink connection down. Retrying in five...four....three....two...one...retrying.....Retry attempt failed. Primary assessment: uplink destroyed. Secondary assessment: uplink connection destroyed, not detected in damage scan. Therefore damage scan malfunctioning. Damage irreparable. Deleting secondary assessment: not useful. Running through cause of primary assessment....Failed. No known cause of uplink destruction. Warning: Incomplete memory files may be causing damage assessment to fail. Please report to maintenance station at nearest opportunity."

[Bdthemag]

I agree with Fniff, lets just keep it on earth.

**

Briar yawned as he walked into what he assumed was the living room of the bunker. He couldn't remember much, not even how he got here. Thats one of the side effects of going into Hypersleep for awhile, he's heard of people who wake up and never remember anything from their past lives. Luckily for him he did. He looked over to the man sitting on the couch, he tried to remember his name. Ah he remembered now it was Josef, but is he a friend of his? He couldn't remember, he walked over and sat on a small wooden chair. He then said "Hey, uhh Josef. Do you have any idea how we got here?"

[Fniff]

Josef stared straight ahead, as what seemed like a friend wandered over from the hypersleeper. The sound of slippers tapping against concrete made a piercing feeling in Josef surface, and he realized this was a voice.

"Well, apparently, we just survived a nuclear war. And we have been stuck here for the last one hundred years. Briar, get me some anti-hallucinationics, I... kinda need them."

[Dsarker]

Calibrating body to logic cores.......body calibration, complete.


TC-100101 stood up. It's right arm and both legs seemed to have taken the worst of the ageing. But it was definitely still functional, and out of it's mouth came the two words that have unified all programmers.


"Hello, world."

[Bdthemag]

"Uh, sure." he walked over to what could possibley be called a kitchen. He rummaged through the cabinets until he found a familiar looking medicine. He grabbed it and took a few of the small round pills, he then walked back into the living room and handed it to Josef. "Well... there isn't alot of food in there, a few tin cans but thats it."

He heard a robotic voice, and nearly jumped out of his chair. "Jesus christ, scared the hell outta me. Uh hello erh, robot. Any information on how we got here?"

[Fniff]

Josef unscrewed the cap and downed it. He felt as he was more grounded in reality. Shaking himself out, he returned fully to lucidity. Right, now for the important thing.

"Hey, what entertainment do we have? Like, films or books or comics?"

[Dsarker]

"Calibration test: successful. Running memory core integrity checks. Please wait."


A buzzing sound emanates from the robot, rather like an old server room's fan.

"Memory core integrity check complete. Error: memory core has lost integrity. File correction incomplete. Warning. Memory loss total."

[NoahTophatz]

(some spelling mistakes are on purpose but not all)
"i ham mr hatz i have woke you from HuPerSLEep because of [error] so you must all get some food from the "Bzzzt" kitchen then you MuSt gather eqwopme..nt so that i may create it for tze leftobers.  also would you like to purchase a hat for only $12.45 with a free wifi hotspot ARRR No Not AGain Now whom knews whom to remoove pwoblems like the hat line?"
attempt to convince other robot that i aint cwazy

[Bdthemag]

What.

[NoahTophatz]

"i am mr hatz i have woke you from hypersleep because of [error] so you must all get some food from the kitchen then you must gather equipment so that i may create it from the leftovers.  also would you like to purchase a hat for only $12.45 with a free wifi hotspot Aarr no not again now who knows how to remove problems like the hat line?"
attempt to convince other robot that i aint crazy
better?

[Fniff]

...

Noah, I told you about fucking tophats. And real insane robots don't even act like that!

[NoahTophatz]

...

Noah, I told you about f#$%ing tophats. And real insane robots don't even act like that!

I was not talking about tophats uh he is a hat making robot who wants to make gloves and he isn't insane just glitchy mostly
plus how many insane robots have you met?
Edit: and don't say seven
Edit2: because it will annoy me

[Fniff]

...

Noah, I told you about f#$%ing tophats. And real insane robots don't even act like that!

I was not talking about tophats uh he is a hat making robot who wants to make gloves and he isn't insane just glitchy mostly
plus how many insane robots have you met?

Let's see now...

HAL9000, GLaDOS, Shodan, AUTO and Wheately. And precisely none of them are like what you are doing. Listen, here is how you should write it.

*

Syntax Error: Code destroyed. Replacing....

The robotic humanoid powered on. Most of it's circuits were fried during the blast wave, and it took one hundred years of constant repairing to even try fixing it. Replacing most of the code was hard, but now it was done. It stood up, shaking but still alive, and marched towards the fallout shelter it was assigned. The only thing managed to remember before the bombs were one thing.

Code replaced: Tophatstophatstophatstophatstophatstophats ad infinitum...