Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[FuzzyZergling]

All my problems, and by extention everyone else's, are obviously the fault of the government. Gather my POLICE/SKATERS and assault CITY HALL!

[Lillipad]

There are two turns until the cybernetic things are integrated into She Hag. I had actually forgotten about those until I had started writing the turn.
I'll update Crushinator's scheming. You have like three or four more points to spend though.

[peglegpengeuin]

Now that I think about it, nobody'll be home to get my pizza. I know! I'll deliver the pizza at 7:30 in the morning, before they have a chance to leave!

[Geen]

Keep on working, and buy an AK-47 for myself. Then, send my Janitor-squad out to fight orphanscriminals! Also, use the toxic waste to grant myself more powers. And put a bounty on the inventor of the Grand Slamwich.

[SeriousConcentrate]

I do? Uh, hmm. Do I have enough to get Scheming up to 4 and Hamstring up to 3? If not, just dump everything into Hamstring; Crushinator needs to set the world record for crushing!

[peglegpengeuin]

Wait, what exactly is hamstring again? Dexterity?

[SeriousConcentrate]

I believe so. I realize now that although I meant the speed record for crushing, it doesn't actually look that way. ^^;

[Lillipad]

Hamstring is a group of thigh muscles. So it's speed. I'll pump your Hamstring stat up to thre since that's(I believe) all the remaining SCIENCE pegle gave you.
I'll assume you want to make a new special ability with your toxic waste Geen. I'll get to work on thinking something up, but you'll need two more toxic waste to make it an official power.

[quip]

Sweet Transvestite decides to celebrate his/her new and improved fashion sense by asking the police to kindly conduct hit and run drive bys speedy flower and candy giving of all of the cities top models. Not that he/she feels threatened by their good looks or anything.

[peglegpengeuin]

More actions: Put out hiring ad in the newspaper for evil mad scientists. And kidnap some scientists to indoctrinate.

Also, command spare minions to dig an underground extension to the cake factory. A really big one capable of mass-producing pastry robots, among other things. The extension should also be built bit-by-bit, so that each part is functional when completed. The first part completed should produce half-baked doughbots: weak, stupid, and generic minions meant for menial labors. Like making the base faster. Which is their first command.

I may not be a robot yet, but I can get a head-start with my minions.

[Lillipad]

Update's gonna be today, it'll be in about six or seven hours though. I have some nonsense involving cable men to deal with and I don't really want to do anything until I have that nuisance out of the way.

The update is going to be fairly zany though. I'm pretty sure pegle's getting his cybernetic enhancements, SerCon is going to be up to his country-destroying gentlemanly shenanigans, Fuzzy's going to become the anti-revolutionary revolutionary, and Geen gets to prepare for a mass murderflower giving spree. Nobody gets to know what quip's going to be up to though, because transvestite Tim Curry does what transvestite Tim Curry wants.

[Lillipad]

Update is few hours late, but whatever.

--

Heroes
Spluntastic Teen
Spluntastic Teen wakes up feeling angry. Angry at the ESTABLISHMENT! Not knowing what else to do, he visits his skate park and gathers his "crime" "fighting" squad of skater punks and police, then joins up with the ridiculously named suited female to annihilate city hall. For realsies.
But not really, because his skater punks are unarmed, so instead he raids the gun factory with Elastisplastasaur Girl. He ponders quietly why her name is so ridiculous as the gun factory collapses around them. He trips and falls into a puddle of toxic waste, bringing Elastisplastasaur Girl with him.
They head home with their new guns, and notice that a large chunk of the town is singing and dancing. Something about time warping. Whatever, he goes to sleep with his dad #1's teddy bear, Mister Shankles.

Elastisplastasaur Girl
Elasti wakes up and notices ST acting suspiciously un-angsty. She stalkstags along with him to his skate park at which point he seems to have a sudden realization that he can't do something. She suggests they go raid a gun factory, which he agrees to!
The gun factory is right next to a pastry factory, which is right next to a scientific research facility, which is right next to city hall. The janitorial vigilantes in training and skater punks make short work of all the production facilities, grabbing everything from your standard glock to heavy machine guns. Elasti is handed one of each type of gun in the factory, and both parties leave after setting explosives to destroy the factory in a blaze of glory.
Sweet Transvestite seems to have brought the town to its knees through song and dance while they were "away." ST goes back to his usual angsty self, and sulks into bed. Elasti and Sweet Transvestite have a candlelit dinner under the moonlight, remembering that they'll always have Paris.

Sweet Transvestite
Feeling abandoned, the Queen takes her high heels and boxing gloves out for a night on the town. He starts by bursting into song, sending the city into a singing panic, then has some of the singing and dancing police to "deliver" some "flowers" to the most "beautiful" men and women in town. Totally to give a "friendly" greeting, of course.
Not much else happens, but a lot of civilians were indoctrinated. No minions were injured by the song and dance, however.

Villains
The Crushinator
This fine gentleman wakes up feeling spry, and ready for a dip in the ocean. He grabs his most trusted member in his cabinet, which is all of them. As his cabinet consists entirely of his butlers. Because butlers, as this gentleman has discovered, make for fine politicians.
The beach is warm, sunny, and ready for a gentleman to come brighten things even more than they already are. The gentleman is a huge hit with the people at the beach, and his butlers dive into the ocean with their butler outfits on. Somehow they swim better than everyone else.
Several MUFFINS were gathered, though some were lost, but two MUFFINS were left over. The gentleman had a generally satisfying day, though it appears that a building near city hall had to foreclose while he was away. Such a shame...
(a city has been destroyed due to a nuclear meltdown!)

She Hag
Sure the She Hag was perfect enough as she was, but you know what makes everything even more perfect? Robots, that's what! The She Hag was once human, but no longer! She has been reborn as the Cybernetic Assault All Terrain Vehicular Super Assault Great One Of The Granny She Hag Deluxe Edition Number Three Xavier The Second But Maybe Not Perhaps! CAATVSAGOOTGSHDENTXTSBMNP for short. But you can call her She Hag.
She has her minions post ads around the city promoting working at the pastry factory and/or city hall, then dons her pizza delivery outfit. She goes to Mister Fantastic's house and knocks on the door, but it would appear that no one is home. She continues knocking for three hourse straight using her brand new hydraulic knocking system, but it still appears that no one is home. She'll get you yet, Mister Fantastic! Oh yes! Just you wait! You'll regret ever making CAATVSAGOOTGSHDENTXTSBMNP wait for three hours in a pizza delivery outfit!

[peglegpengeuin]

Why didn't she-hag just leave it on the doorstep? What a terrible turn for me.

----

Anyway, guns scare me. Luckily, Cyber-hag reads the newspaper, so she knows all about the raiding. In response, she commands strongly suggests to her henchman partner that he ban skateboarding and the skate park. Gotta take out their meeting spot, after all. All former skaters, by law, must pick up a new hobby - free and addictive video games designed to keep teens entertained in their basements and decrease their social awareness by a mile. No multiplayer, of course. As for the police officers... the Mayor can just jail the ones involved. The cells are too empty anyway. That means the heroes will keep their weapons, but not much can be done about that.

Now for my plan's creamy filling. My empire demands sub-rulers. Generals. The dough-bot creation facility will be temporarily altered for their creation. Unlike the stupid dough-bots, these top-class servants will be given limited and quirky personalities. And they shall henceforth be referred to as... The General Mills.

This elite squad will come in 7 flavors:

1. Almond - Almond shall be our nutty professor, and head of all that smells like SCIENCE. He shall have the distinction of having swirly-eyeglasses, in addition to the giant almonds embedded in his body. He will for now be used to boost efficiency in the surface research facility, though I plan on giving him an underground one when the time comes.

2. Chocolate fudge - Chocolate fudge will be put in charge of security and defenses, including the implementation of turrets in the base. His rigid demeanor will be amplified by a bubble smoking pipe.

3. Peanut Butter - Peanut Butter, or PB for short, shall aid in the expansion of the base. Pre-programmed with architectural know-how, this hardhat wearing, hairy-armed fatso shall immediately be put to work boosting dough-bot digging and building efficiency.

4. Sugar cookie - This voluptuous treat'll bring the boys to the yard with her large, smooth, golden-brown... looks. That's right, every inch of her shall be baked to perfection. And by bring the boys to the yard, I mean recruit people for me. Everyone calls her Sugar, and she's pre-programmed to know the art of manipulating men (and lesbians) into doing my bidding.

5. Pistachio - A master of deception, hiding, and general spy stuffs, Pistachio shall be the organization's major eyes and ears to the outside world. Equipped with a badass moustache and incredible ninja know-how, this ally will prove most useful. He should immediately start out by spying on the Fantastic House.

6. Oatmeal - Captain Oatmeal, as he shall be called, will be my right-hand (gingerbread?)man. I shall use him in all future planning and tactical missions. He will be essential for the quick-thinking required in real-time combat. Also, one of his arms is a machine gun.

7. W&w - A favorite for kids, W&w (or DoubledoubleU for short) shall be put in charge of maintaining a favorable image for our group. He shall host charities in our name, visit sick children in the hospital, and other garbage. While he's not doing that I'll let him babysit hang out with The Crushinator and dissuade the guy from being a fool (again). DoubledoubleU wears a "I Heart Humans" cap backwards for maximum friendly coolness.

I'll spend most of my actual turn supervising dough-bots and other idle minions as they create my generals, and later our Situation Room. Fully equipped with a very long table and comfy, spinning chairs, this room will be where I discuss strategy with my generals, keep my self updated, and ensure my own literally iron fist is what's running the place. Just in case, all generals shall be implanted with extra-strength loyalty chocolate-chips.

----

And please don't make the next turn as "crummy" for me as the last one, Lillipad. You know what I'm doing is awesome and hilarious, and it needs to be done right.

[Lillipad]

I was tired at the time of writing that, so the only thing going through my mind was "how can I make this as stupid as possible." The next turn will omit the 25 character acronyms, and be slightly less stupid. It's still going to be stupid, since that's the nature of this game, but it's not going to be just pure idiocy in its worst forms, but it's not going to make you lose brain cells just glancing at it.

Anyway, I'd like to request that you make your General Mill sheets a little more PC and child friendly. It's fine otherwise, though it will take quite a long time to accomplish getting all of them, and I'm going to require that you spend turns working on them. Henchmen won't do. It'll also take 8 SCIENCE for each of them, which shouldn't be a problem since I give out toxic waste and SCIENCE like cheap cigars and perfume samples.

[peglegpengeuin]

Fine, I'll make Almond first. I assume he'll make it easier to make the other guys faster. Probably Sugar or PB's next. I know I can hold off on DoubledoubleU and Captain Oatmeal for a bit. I really want Pistachio and Chocolate Fudge. Gotta cut Crushinator's MUFFIN supply too, sadly. Wait, can I produce the 8 MUFFINS needed this turn? I really don't want to have to wait for the next update to start Almond up. A proper Situation Room can be stalled for now if doing so'll help make the General Mills faster. Speaking of which can you give me some idea of how long stuff will take?

Also, I wasn't thinking about PC issues. Sorry about that. I generally try to avoid problems there. I hope I fixed everything.