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Lock them in a room

1 (3.4%)

Magma

4 (13.8%)

Lock them in the caverns

2 (6.9%)

Drowning

1 (3.4%)

Fight VS wild animals we've caught

7 (24.1%)

Fight VS goblins

9 (31%)

Atomsmash

3 (10.3%)

Other (post in thread)

2 (6.9%)

Total Members Voted: 29

[katana]

11

Timber, 4
Tis' time to work on the crossbow part of the military.

Urist McHuman:
Arrived at the fortress as a hunter, already an expert marksdwarf. Apparently he also had some military experience as he was (and remains) the best dodger in the fortress (OOC: Expert dodger). He went out like all other hunters, nothing different, until he chose to go to the caverns. Flesh blobs were useless hunting targets, they couldn't die, so he went on to something a bit more dangerous: Giant olms. It ripped off his right hand before he bashed it repeatedly, mortally wounding it. As he ran off, he'd never know that he killed that olm.
After years of training through mercilessly hunting the wildlife, he has become legendary at his job. He now proposed and led the marksdwarf military, and makes their crossbows and bolts out of the bones of fallen enemies. Though everyone knows him, he has only three friends: Mistem (metalsmith who made that cap gold goblet), Zulban (the current possessed armorer), and erith (one of the invaders).

Fifty-nine recorded animal kills:
Seven two-humped camels
Six one-humped camel
Two naked mole dogs
Forty four slimes


Our friends from the mountainnhomes have arrived, followed by-

Two ambushes. They were fighting well, driving off the goblins, until.

Well that just sucks for them. Under the pressure, they just... went... insane...

The swordsdwarf had to execute the berserk ones, while the tank spider spewed webs everywhere. Meanwhile, on the east side of the map, the sapphire men arrived, somewhat peacefully and oblivious to what was going on to the west. When we thought things couldn't get any worse...

(NRDL and... Trigg's? Child)
How? We need to reconsider our defenses... First of all, chain bears to the entrances. We had little time to prepare food for sale, due to our recent firelordsky feeding issues, so I hope we'll have enough to buy everything... Then the ryl beasts ambushed the idiots who decided to go out and grab the dead merchant's stuff... Come on, they didn't have any socks!
This was followed by a few more ambushes, which were quickly dealt with. Then, Zulban began with her work. Dsarker had become a legendary appraiser, somehow. How does someone become legendary at telling how much a bar of metal is worth? In fact, the SAME metal, every time! Meanwhile, while only adequate, Urist McHuman has already created a masterpiece!

Apparently he intends to create the equipment of the entire marksdwarf military. Followed by another great work from our possessed armorer:

Later on, a snatcher was quickly decapitated. Then, Onol was lost... The first child of the fortress, kidnapped. How did this snatcher get through our traps? We have two bears chained to the entrance, and the entire fortress military there too. Add another bear. And the grassland scorpions. And cougers. Whatever will catch something.
There will now be patrols, everyone who doesn't need training. However, I'm terrible at organizing our military's schedules (this is why I hate being commander), so our first attempt ended up with the squad going civillian and running off. When asked why, they just said "Your orders, you wrote that."...
In the end, I gave up on that. Instead, two dwarves would train at the very entrance, beyond the traps. In the middle of all of this, I forgot that Cheveux had demanded mittens!
Perfect timing for Zulban to give up armoring because she considered herself unappreciated.

Moonstone, 4
Then, zuglar, presser, gave birth to a girl. Wait, who? Ohhh, Conan's wife? Also, we've been elevated, yet again!

[Hugo_The_Dwarf]

I shall request a dwarf, Hugo if male Trish if Female. Axedwarf preferably, if not anything is fine
Personality, hardcore alcoholic and violent

[NRDL]

Did my kid get kidnapped?  That sucks.  If I have any other kids, make them miners until they're awesome at mining, then enlist them into the military. 

My dynasty of pick soldiers shall stand forever!

( Katana, if you can, can you post the bios and stuff for all the named dorf's kids? )

[dzha]

I shall request a dwarf too:
Male: Dzha
Speardwarf alcoholic, who hates everyone.

[katana]

Annoyingly, every current speardwarf is female, the entire non-dorfed military is. I might increase the popcap when the marksdwarf stuff gets done.

[Cheveux]

I shall request a dwarf too:
Male: Dzha
Speardwarf alcoholic, who hates everyone.

So basically any dwarf?

[UristMcHuman]

Name: Urist McHuman
Gender: Male
Professions: Sharpshooter.
Skills: Crackshot (Expert) Marksdwarf, Adept Swordsdwarf, Skilled Weaponsmith.
Personality:
Not bloody much to say for that...

I hope you don't mind having only one hand. Let's try and make you a weaponsmith, you'll be using those bolts. Why the swords though?

Is it my right hand that's gone? 'Cause I'm not good at doing anything (save aiming a handgun) with my left hand.

I wanted the weaponsmith because I actually managed to craft a wooden weapon or two IRL.

I wanted the sword skill, because, also in RL, I practice with a wooden training sword at home when I get the chance.

Expert or better marksdwarf, change profession name to 'Sharpshooter'. I'm a fairly good shot with a .22.

[katana]

I SAW WOODEN. BOWYER FER' YOU.

You're the legendary marksdwarf =3 Sword skill will be trained after you make a load of crossbows.

[katana]

@NRDL so much uploading... Here's just a list
1. Ingish (male)
Two years old
Mother: Zuglar
Father: Conan
Likes atyl, orthoclase, slabs, crimson, grimy liquid. Dislikes blood gnats.

2. Logem (male)
One year old
Mother: Dsarker
Father: Cheveux
Likes mudstone, tin, morganite, leggings, gloves, armor stands, amulets, yaks, white-browed gibbon and rum. Dislikes mussels.

3. Sibrek (female)
One year old
Mother: Dsarker
Father: Cheveux
Likes shale, lead, pink tourmaline, giant worm dragon leather, the color dark violet, buckets, antmen, turkey, star wine. Dislikes large roaches.

4. Udil (female)
One year old
Mother: Zuglar
Father: Conan

5. Kol (female)
Eleven months old
Mother: Trigg (gender fail.)
Father: NRDL
Likes tetrahedrite, lay pewter, lapis lazuli, bat ray leather, taupe gray, bolts, millstones, catapult parts, emaciated monsters, clownfish, grimy liquid. Dislikes worms.

6. Etur (male)
Four months old
Mother: Dsarker
Father: Cheveux
Likes mudstone, bryl, resin opal, rabbit leather, sandy taupe, circles, shields, coffins, giant jaguar and grimy liquid. Dislikes toads(!!!).

7. Kulet
Mother: Zuglar
Father: Conan
Likes selenite, black bronze, tiger iron, larch wood, reindeer horn, shoes, strawberry wine, wild bee hony. Dislikes large roaches.
12

8. Dastot (female)
Mother: Kadol
Father: BrickT
Likes stibnite, ethyl, red tourmaline, horse hoof, mauve, crossbows, geese, swamp whiskey. Dislikes cave spiders.
Opal, 4
Jaxy was muttering something about pathing issues. I'd ask someone to diagnose him, but firelord is a bit weird, and Dsarker wants to practice smithing or something. I think I'll give my squad a break now. We need to carve all these bones. Zulban, the armorer, just randomly does stuff now. She made some mittens for Cheveux earlier, and has decided to try mining. No matter what she does, she's depressed. Keeps muttering "No chance of being armorer... Why spirits, why..."...

Meanwhile, there were some troglodyte, inconveniences? Not really incidents considering how often they happen. Urist McHuman is slowly making a huge amount of bolts, and Libash and I will help. Running outside to meet enemies takes forever. He's also asking (ordering?) the creation of a large tower opposite to the entrance, for his marksdwarf stuff. Like a massive supply of ammunition, or something.

Obsidian, 1

Urist now also requests an underground portion of his area. Then, our legendary door maker gives birth to a girl. BrickT has a daughter.

How did that worm dragon even get over there? Anyway, here's how it went:
Conan's squad went out and easily destroyed the ambush, while revealing another (plump helmet) ambush. However, Mistem the metalcrafter was building a wall (helping out because there was no metalworking to do, and we needed walls built), she spotted a snatcher. The ettin snatcher then panicked, running into one of our cages instead of out the other way. However, it wasn't over. Plump helmet men swordsmen revealed themselves (apparently we all thought they were some guy's meal and didn't disturb them) to Mistem, preparing to attack her along with a bone carver.
The bone carver was Libash, high master axedwarf. Annoyingly, back over by Conan and the worm dragon, another ambush was spotted. One of them got in Atomic Avocado's way while he was mercilessly beating a member of the previous ambush, and was quickly slaughtered.

Granite, 5
Well, last year went terribly. We lost many children...
Cheveux then bans the export of mittens, and orders for more to be made. Mittens for everyone. Meanwhile, ammunition is being moved to the huge storages. Funnily, more slowly than I'm making it. The hauling will never stop! Unless I tell them to. Which I just did. I'm going to make some bone spears. Crossbow production begins.
Yes, prepare weapons...

Slate, 5
Jaxy screamed something about performance and pulled the "atom smasher" lever. Cheveux then bans export of longswords and mittens. He also wants a green glass window in his tomb. I'll put it in his "demands" chamber of the tomb.

Felsite, 5
Expecting more elves to kill any time now.
... While I was sleeping I kept hearing things from below. Not those idiots engraving, but further below. Much, much further...
I'm asking NRDL to dig a tunnel down to the adamantine so we can finally get some. Cheveux, you want to become a better smith? Could you make some menacing spikes out of bryl or something please?
Mistem, metalcrafter, was ambushed by ettin, which we quickly took care of. Then a giant plump helmet roast garnished with poorly crafted equipment besieged us.


More ettins after that. Oh and some goblins. nothing to worry about. Then the elves arrived, while NRDL was ambushed by ryl beasts.

 I was surprised when he ran away instead of fighting back, after all that bragging about how picks are better than swords. The sapphire men then arrived, quickly followed by ryl beasts. Meanwhile, NRDL had discovered another cavern, even further underground. It was full of strange plants, like a tree that seemed to freeze the water nearby.
The voices...
Deeper...
They're getting louder...
Yesss... Come closerrrrrrr....

___

Then it was time for the usual sapphire man trade.
They cannot be trusted.
Hm?
They cannot be trusted.
...
So what do I do?
Kill them.
Kill them?
Their "diplomat" was a spy.
Maybe that's why he was wandering around instead of meeting Cheveux. Maybe you're right. Whoever... Or whatever you are... Fine then. They will die.

Hematite, 5
Trust nobody.
... Who are you.

___

[NRDL]

Crap, my dorf's a coward.  Katana, can you please make sure he does some fighting next time?  Make him patrol the outskirts or whatever.  It would be awesome if I could be the one to pierce the adamantine...

[dzha]

I shall request a dwarf too:
Male: Dzha
Speardwarf alcoholic, who hates everyone.

So basically any dwarf?

Yes!

[Hitty40]

I WANT SHOTGUN DORF!

[katana]

Quiet, mr farmer.

[Hitty40]

Quiet, mr farmer.

FUCKING NOW.

[katana]

That looks photoshopped.