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[Digital Hellhound]

What's Europa 1400 - The Guild like? It sounds vaguely familiar.

[Stworca]

What's Europa 1400 - The Guild like? It sounds vaguely familiar.

It's a Political-Backstab-Economic with elements of rpg.. In both you could accomplish your goals in truckloads of differend ways! Listing possible ways to accomplish any task would take far too long.. so let me tell you the story of Stworca the Alchemist

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

I started the game as an alchemist, with just one worker, a terrible house and some gold. After enduring robbers, blackmailing and unpredictable market prices, i managed to buy out one of other alchemist workshops in town, leaving only one. Which i harrassed for years with sabotage, mugging and buying out all ingridients. At the same time i was befriending, bribing, blackmailing or killing people to help me rise as one of government figures, an unsignificant spy, but still a good start.

Once i established monopoly on alchemical goods (except for imports from other countries) i could turn my eyes to other fronts. My rivals couldn't get valuable potions (that greatly help in gameplay, but are hard to make) and had to resort to illegal activities to accomplish some of their goals, but that only helped me get evidence against them. I falsified some, influenced some high ranked friends to change some laws, and the crime list quickly piled up.

Married the town judge, and romanced guard captain and a wealthy mine owner...

The list goes on. My character, who lived over 100 years thanks to very rare, and very expensive faust elixirs (monopoly on alchemy!) who lost all his children to a deadly curse, who was frequently attacked by much fitter enemies, who had trouble maintaining monopoly on alchemist goods due to world traders taking more interest in our city..
Eventually he owned half the buildings in the city, being ran by his minions (because he didn't have the required knowledge to run, for example, a graveyard), became marshal of the empire forces and the major at the same time, controlled the entire market with dozens of his traders, killed one of his opponents in a duel - cheated - sentenced one to death for crimes she didn't commit - and caused another powerful family to die out, due to--

well , you get what Guild is about. I love it.
Blood Bowl is fun too.
And HoI2 DAIM campaign drags on for weeks.

16 Spain - 1 Gaul - 0 everything else. Guild will have to wait

[Stworca]

A small bonus : The actual quote from Part 13 of the LP.

I love it. I should probably record some RTW fights in the future  Would it be a good idea, i wonder?

Edit : 18 Spain - 1 Gaul - 0 Everything else.. You people know that Spain is tough, right? Just checking. You break my balls!

[Dsarker]

Yes, it would. Just have subtitles for whenever you want santa or the masseur to be talking in the battles.

[Stworca]

Yes, it would. Just have subtitles for whenever you want santa or the masseur to be talking in the battles.

I'll wait for few more people to post their opinions.
Naturally if i'll have major FPS problems it's not an option... 6k dudes on the screen while frapsing will most likely chop a bit.
So i might have to reserve it for Spain, and in that case, lower the unit scale by one.

But let's hear it first.

My stationary PC would most likely handle many full stacks at once while frapsing (yes), but playing on the laptop is so comfy...! (except the damn touchpad..)

[Sheb]

Nad, I hat video LP. Please just continue being awesome. May you also give a boost to the Romans early on so we can actually see the Martian Reform?

[Stworca]

Nad, I hat video LP. Please just continue being awesome. May you also give a boost to the Romans early on so we can actually see the Martian Reform?

I've meant just the battles. Overall i prefer to do it text+Image style, but battles tend to be very chaotic, and sometimes i spend up to 10 minutes trying to figure out what exactly did i do on the screenshot 

As if Spain wasn't hard enough.. We'll discuss the additional self-imposed challenges when we'll be starting Spain LP, but i guess i could add 5k to Roman cities.
Please note : We WILL be losing units left and right even without Marian Reform. I did a small test, and using sneaky maneuvering and javelin rain wiped out 950 out of 1190 Gaul with no loses.. But the last warband of theirs (standing on city square, thus immune to morale break) has caused 300 something casualties, despite surrounding them.. Spaniards on VH.. are like peasants.

[Burnt Pies]

I much prefer text and image LPs, I rarely remember to actually watch Video LPs

[EmperorNuthulu]

I'm not against the idea of a video lp, I mean how many good lps of Rome total war are on youtube, I can think of two and both of them are roman factions.

[Stworca]

I'm not against the idea of a video lp, I mean how many good lps of Rome total war are on youtube, I can think of two and both of them are roman factions.

I'm not for a video LP, just battles as videos, everything else as it is.
Just as i run the BG2 LP. Text + Image, but important battles recorded.

To show the entire battle step by step in RTW (Or BG2 for that matter) i would need a few dozen screenshots. I've cut it down greatly so far.

[Stworca]

Rejoice, folks, for i have lost a battle in the next update. A clear defeat, no less.

My excuse?

Spoiler: Look here (click to show/hide)

What is this? It's an enemy unit, surrounded from all sides by my warriors, outnumbered 7 to 1, and still Eager and "Balance of Forces is evenly matched" Yes, i have used Warcry. Sure, i had only low-class mercenaries, but this is the reason i don't play on VH - bullshit.
Enemies had 5 groups of these terminators. 

After this SS was taken i started hurling javelins while my 5 units were getting slaughtered. It allowed us to rout this one group, and then we got hit by 1500 enemy units and fell apart.

Still, i'm open to suggestions as to what more could i do. Update will be posted tomorrow (most likely)

It would be funny if autobattle would win this one

Edit : Phck it, i'll try to make the update today.

[EmperorNuthulu]

I told you Dacia was a good faction.

[Stworca]

I told you Dacia was a good faction.

Were it better class warriors, They would get crushed with no losses. High end unit + Difficulty = your merc units are peasants.

Let me rephrase it :

Spoiler: Statistics, difficulties, technical mumbo-jumbo (click to show/hide)

Let us break down Chosen Swordsmen.
13 attack 17 defense base.
20 attack 24 defense on very hard (also your units get -7 to both)
warcry adds 10 to attack, that's 30 24
On top of that bonus in snow (it was 3 or 5?)

Against barbarian mercs.
7 attack 10 defense
+ warcry 17 attack 10 defense
- difficulty 10 attack 3 defense.

30 : 24 vs 10 : 3.
On normal it would be 23 : 17 vs 17 : 10. Quite a difference, eh?

Naturally i still failed, but i'll do better

Also : Dacia is a poor faction with three good units in the entire roster. Better than Numidia for sure, but even Numidia can win the campaign in 20 turns.

[Stworca]

Spoiler: Sandstorm (click to show/hide)

Scipii Captain : Muahahaha! Armenians are trying to break the siege!
Scipii Buttlicker : Muahahaha!
Observant Scipii : Why are we sieging this fort, when there is an undefended city to take?
Scipii Captain : I don't understand the question.
Observant Scipii : They are attacking.. we're going to get it now.


Scipii Captain : Re-group! Everyone, run northeast!
Observant Scipii : Is it wise to leave our balista's behind?


Scipii Captain : What could possibly go wrong?


Scipii Captain : Ah, it is all as i planned! Muahahaha!
Scipii Buttlicker : Muahahahaha!
Observant Scipii : Are you retarded!? We've lost a unit for nothing!


Scipii Captain : HA! Foolish Armenians have took our bait, and are chasing our cavalry!
Scipii Buttlicker : Muahahaha! What happens now, supreme leader?
Scipii Captain : Uh... right.. i didn't cover that part.


Scipii Captain : Quickly! Have part of our infantry chase these mounted Armenians!


Scipii Buttlicker : They're charging our positions!
Scipii Captain : I've learned my lesson! Light cavalry! Attack these heavily armored, charging Armenians!
Observant Scipii : You fool! This is--
Scipii Captain : Let me finish.. Balista Crew? Run away from the enemies.. There.. Better?


Scipii Captain : No! Our cavalry! How could this happen!


Scipii Buttlicker : At least our balista crew is safe.


Scipii Captain : Oh.. i didn't see that coming...


Is this really happening?
- It seems real, Sir. Although i too thought it was a dr--- AU! Why did you pinch me, supreme leader?
To check if it's a dream.
- I believe you're supposed to pinch yourself in order to check that.
But.. that would hurt!
Scipii Captain : Do you mind, we're having a battle here.


Scipii Captain : Where was i..? Ah yes.. MUAHAHAHAHA!
Observant Scipii : You're an idiot.
Scipii Captain : ..What? What did i do wrong this.. ooooh!


Scipii Captain : Well.. That's it then, let's go home.


May I?
Scipii Captain : Yes, go ahead.
Thank you.
(i considered using a different image.. but she is just too good!)


Scipii Captain : ...whaaaaaat?


Observant Scipii : I wonder if Scipii Leader had any blood left in his alcohol stream, when he promoted this idiot.


Scipii Captain : You may have won this round, Armenia, but the war is not yet over!


Observant Scipii : Yeah, They will have plenty more occasions to win against us.
Scipii Captain : Always the pessimist!
Observant Scipii : Shut up and run.


Where does this victory put us?
- The way to Thapsus and Carthage is open, however the city of Lepcis Magna is sieged by another Roman army.


I see... Capture Thapsus. Artabanis will aid Lepcis Magna.
(Artabanis) : Can't it wait..? I'm writing a diary entry now!
...sigh...


- Sir, Scipii still have significant numbers out there, is it wise to---
Worry not, we have an army on its way to capture Capua! (We captured Croton, it had 2 groups guarding it.. Not even worth a screenshot)
: Uh.. uhh! His hand would make a fine belt!
Who are you talking about, Rainbow?
: The SPQR leader. He and his army is here.

Spoiler: Them Senate Dudes (click to show/hide)

Roman Leader (Romanus Leaderus? Close enough.) : Can't we all just get along?
I hate him already.. Kill the generals first.


: Can i use their..
Yes, just go already.


80's-Glasses-Asian : Roman army was mighty, but Their generals were overconfident. They have accepted a challenge that led to their demise.


Who the hell are you!? Stop spoiling the ending!
80's-Glasses-Asian : I work for discovery, we're making a series.


80's-Glasses-Asian : With the death of..
NO! Go away!


80's-Glasses-Asian : Still, even without their leader, the legio--
This is my last warning! Discovery channel or not, keep talking, and you'll suffer!


80's-Glasses-Asian : ...


THAT DOES IT! Rainbow! Do something terrible to him!
80's-Glasses-Asian : But i didn--- AIEEEEEEEEEEEE!


...DAMN! Oh.. ohhhh! I've missed the ending!
- We won, sir.
Yeah, but i wanted to see the look on the Roman faces, when They.. forget it.. It's all your fault! Kick him again!


Scipii : Thanks for the help, Senate.. You're incompetent!
SPQR : You're rude! We're not helping ever again!
Ohh... They're so cute.. BURN CAPUA DOWN!
: Kumbaya...


: I'm attacking Romans at Lepcis. It reminds me of that time..


: ..but her crotch wasn't really a crotch. It was a salad bar. The end.


My soul has just been raped.
- Mom..? Mom.. make him stop!
: Oh.. stop it. Why don't you tell me a story, Santa?
Ohh.. All right. Back in 310BC - i hate you. The end.
- Catchy, Sir.


What are the unwashed new generals doing anyway?
- They siege Thracian cities, sir.
Thrace : Wait.. since when are we at war?!
Does it matter?
Thrace : Well.. Yes. We get a discount at "All the mud you can it" when we're at war, and we had a party just last night. We could get a refund!
I see.. In that case, we've declared war on you.. TODAY!
Thrace : Ahh! What a Richard!
MUAHAHAHAHA!


Scipii : ..and then, They made us wear these uncomfortable uniforms.. and.. *sniff*
Julii : Chin up, Scipii! We'll show you how the Julii do it.


Did They just attack us on a bridge?
- Yes, sir.
*smirk*


- Yeah.. this is good stuff.


- Mmm.. Attack harder.
What the.. Have i just caught you jacking off?!
- Who's Jack?
*SMACK*


- Sir, They had some post-reform troops in there.
Yeah, i could tell.... NOT.. Mwahahaha
- Hahahahaha!
HAHAHAHA
- HAHAHA---
Shut up, Meg.

Spoiler: We've.. lost.. what? We lost.. What?! We're Armenians.. and we lost?! WHAT!? Pinch me! Pinch me harder! YEAH! THAT'S THE SPOT! DON'T STOP BABY! No, don't write that you fool! The spoiler was supposed to be called "Raging Santa!" (click to show/hide)

- Sir, our general is attacked by Dacian forces.
Monk the Martyr (Spoilers!?!) : I'm a coyote.
Good for you. Wait.. since when are we at war with Dacia anyway?
- Umm..


Nevermind that. Do you know what to do.. coyote?
Monk the Martyr : Nope.
He's perfect.


Have them mercenaries surround the other guys, and beat to death with sticks.
Monk the Martyr : It's.. not working..
What? What the stone is going on here?! (These swordsmen are completely surrounded and outnumbered 7 to 1.. Yet They kick our ass.. Play on Normal, children, it will save you frustration)


...What..?
Monk the Martyr : But.. i wanted to catch them all.. ughh.
..What?!


- We've lost, sir.
No.
- Yes.
Nobody has seen that, we'll never speak about it.. and..
- It's of no use, people will ask questions.
DAMN YOU! DAMN YOU ALL! I need to.. do terrible things to someone..
Thrace : Ha-ha!
Scipii : That will teach you!
Brutii : Now Armenia will fall for sure!
Yes.. you three will do. Let us begin with Carthage.


(in case viewers are wondering what impact the above defeat had on our ratings : Here is a chart)


(It was so insignificant, that the chart didn't care.. trollolooo. A sneaky eye can catch that we've conquered a German province. Yeah, i do some stuff off-screen. Like brushing my teeth and.. ok, i don't do that. But i know a guy who does!)

Scipii : Dacians have shown us the way! ATTACK! Drive them out of Sicily!


I picked a tactic out of the hat, and it involves heavy SM.. let's see how it works.
Armenians : Yay!


Scipii Leader : I.. may die.. but you'll lose the battle.. *dies*


Quickly! Revive him so that he can see the results table!


: Supreme leader, that would be very mean.
SILENCE! Take the city!


Brutii : Ha! Take that, stupid Scipii!
Scipii : The civil war didn't trigger, you moron, we're allies!
Take the city we skipped before too.
Brutii : What?! Balls..


Scipii : Down to one city, stupid Brutes? How sad! Ha! Hah--- oh..


Scipii : Not a single word, or i'll kill you, Brutus!
Brutus : I wasn't even born yet.
Brutii : Armenians were trying to trick us, by advancing from the north, but we've stopped them in their fort, and..


Armenians : Surprise!


That should do it.


Thracian Diplomat : Your tricks won't work on us, Armenians! Our armies are guarding our strongholds. You'll have to fight us like MEN!
Should we tell him?
Thracian Diplomat : About what..?
You see..
TD : *gasp*


..and..
TD : Impossible!


..so that means..
TD : By the gods!


..also..
TD : NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!


Lastly.. The red stars are, as always, our armies. The orange star is the one we've lost. This is why we didn't drop in the chart. We've built stuff!

[monk12]

Ha, I died. It's funny because it's true.