Brutii Diplomat : We, the Brutii, declare war on your barbaric nation! Your arm--
Welcome, you're just in time, honored guest.
Brutii Diplomat : In time for what, barbarian?
Brutii Diplomat : MONKEY ON A STICK!
Actually, it's a raccoon...
- The city is ours, sir.
Quite an establishment it is. The armories are filled to brim.
(we can recruit our entire roster here.. AND it has large stone walls)Brutii Diplomat : Celebrate while you still can! These pathetic settlements are nothing compared to Roman Cities! No Arme--
Oh, we know this. This is why we launched Operation Sled Dog.
- What's a sled dog, sir?
I don't even know what a sled is.
Brutii Diplomat : Messana shall never fall to the likes of yo--
You were saying? Sorry, i was thinking about sand.
Hey, isn't that Rainbow?
- It is, Sir.
But didn't he die a few years ago? He was sixty from what i remember..
: Woof.
Oh, is that true?
: All you need to do, is take four blood baths a week, and your skin folds will all go away!
(Rainbow actually adopted a son, that had the same name and portrait as him.. Just slightly turned to the left.)Slagathor : Oh? I must try it immediately!
Brutii Diplomat : You may have taken Messana, but Syracuse will NEVER fail!
Brutii Diplomat : You may have taken Syracuse, but Lilyb---
Scipii Diplomat : No! Fuck you! Croton is the city they should siege!
Could you excuse us for a second? We're trying to have a fight with Thrace.
Now, while our main force sieges Getae, the small scouting force will..
- Sir, Thracians attack!
Good ,have our army fend them off.
- Sir.. They attack the scouts..
But.. We only have a few skirmishers and trash infantry there..
(Stworca : That's right, and so the battle tactics will not be shown! Infantry only : Reserved for Spain!... It's because i forgot to TAKE more than a few screenshots... )Thracian General : Your doom approache--- BLAEEERGH.
I've never thought that infantry can be capable of winning a battle!
- Me neither sir.
But.. let's never tell Parthans about this, they would laugh and poke us with sticks.
Thracian ruler : What just happened?
You lost an army and a city, why?
Thracian ruler : No.. i mean.. did we just..?
Hush, you weren't too bad yourself *wink nudge*
Uh.. this is getting ugly, they were screaming at each other for some time now..
Brutii Diplomat : Rome always loved you more, Scipii abominations!
Scipii Diplomat : Just because we were sledding together, doesn't mean a thing! You're just jealous!
Brutii Diplomat : JELAOUS!? You unwashed barbarian!
Thracians : Hey! This term is protected by a copyright, and by law only we can be adressed this way.
Julii : What's going on there? Should we come back from Spain and help you guys?
Spain : You could at least use some LUBE, you troggs!
Why do i even keep hearing these voices?
- What voices, sir?
Nevermind.. Strike Croton.
..and just because we're an equal opportunity enemies, strike a random Roman army.
- Sir, yes sir.
Brutii Diplomat : But.. it also belongs to us..
*sigh* I've TRIED, okay? I really did.
..Bloody Romans..