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[Zrk2]

I think in M2 they redid it so the harder battle AIs were actually less retarded. Not better, just less retarded.

[EmperorNuthulu]

 Ah the AI in Rome total war, the word retarded does it no merit. A one province nation with no armies and ten full stacks closing around it will refuse to become your protectorate, the enemy seem to have infinite money, they can somehow recruit multiple units per turn. Not to mention some of the bullshit advantages they get in autobattles. Why is it a full army and my faction leader can't take one town with a general cav and two militia, and a reinforcement army that's a few hoplites?!

[Zrk2]

Cuz hoplites. Obviously.

[Stworca]

Due to the fact that we now have 31 generals, 17 soon-to-be-adult males and something over 30 spies, diplomats and assassins, as well, as the fact that we're gaining speed now, and are close to the final stage of the LP..

I shall reduce the amount of family member banter. I simply can not keep track of them, and all the damn portraits look the same to me (Except Rainbow, who looks like a devil spawn)

Update is on it's way, i have all them screenshots ready, now just the dialogue. But it may not be ready today.

Ahoy.

[KaguroDraven]

Forgive my stupidity, but what EXACTLY are the effects of more stars on a general? I've never noticed anything.

[Stworca]

Forgive my stupidity, but what EXACTLY are the effects of more stars on a general? I've never noticed anything.

Morale and attack. But the general has to be close to his troops for them to receive the bonus.
Also, the more stars (and influence) he has, the higher the bonus radius is.

[Zrk2]

I _think_ they give a morale (NOT moral, that's a pet peeve of mine) bonus.

EDIT: Rock ninjas beat me to the punch!

[EmperorNuthulu]

Also either command or influence gives the general more bodyguards.

[Stworca]

Spoiler: Gaining Speed (click to show/hide)

Silly Greeks lost their entire army trying to stop our advance!
- Sir, but what if they attack again? They still have two armies out there...
We will ask them nicely to not attack us, it will surely stop them.
- Praised be the stone, i wanted a peacefu--
*SMACK*
We will buy mercenaries, you fool! And once city finally falls, our army will be rebuilt.


Besides, i don't think they will attack anyone soon.
Admiral Rockhard : I like hard things, they make he hard. Arr.


Scythian Kid from episode 12 : Santa, are we destroying Scythia yet?
Let's see.. Yes, it appears one of our generals is sieging Campus Alanni
- Which one is it anyway?
I don't know.. by now we have far too many general-- wait.. It's Drunky.
General Drunky : Alcohol is for life, not just for breakfast.


Now that's something i can agree wi-
- Sir! Sir!
What is it now..?
- Them Greeks!
What!? They had another army hid--- wait a minute.. these are trash. It's not even an enemy force. Is that all you got, Greeks?!
Greek #1 : Yup.
Greek #2 : You were supposed to BLUFF you idiot!


The owner of that mansion : Zeus damn you!
His wife : What is it?
The Owner : They are going to ruin my crops AGAIN! That's the fourth god damn time! DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG IT TOOK TO HAUL TEN THOUSAND BODIES!?


Stop complaining! You're making money on feeding our troops!
Owner : Money?! Take a guess how many sacks of gold i've got so far!
Six?
Owner : You're off by six.
..Twelve?
- Supreme leader! Scythians are...


Apparently They just lost a battle..


And a city.. Now that is a nation with very bright future.
- You plan on burning them all at stakes, sir?
You got me there.


When did the Scythian attack begin anyway?
- At the same time siege of Corinth began.
Damn it.. Take me back there! I wish to.. Oh.. We won... and look, another one of our armies arrived.


Kaguro, i want you to... Kaguro..?
Numidian Diplomat : Trust me, Kaguro, math is fun.
: But.. uhh...
Numidian Diplomat : Just give it a go.
: Uhh.. 1.... Divided by 0... uumm...


(do not divide by 0, children)
Assassin!
Numidian Diplomat : Muahahaha!
That does it! Begin operation : "Conquer the city of Siwa"
- What is this operation about, sir?
*SMACK*


Greek 1 : You may have captured Corinth, and siege Sparta, but Athens shall be your undoing!
Greek 2 : You're terrible at bluffing..
Greek 1 : Stop criticizing me!


We'll leave you two lovebirds alone, and.. Erm.. Ezekiel.. where, The Stone, are you heading?
: I've heard there is a hidden city, free of women around here.


: I see its walls already! Wait.. what is this.. They are... They.. *faint*


You fool! Without a general, our army is sure to be slaughtered!


Slagathor : I shall lead the warriors!
What the hell.. go for it.
- That should get rid of that monstrous abomination of a woma---
Oh..
Slagathor : Pathetic, all of them! I didn't even want to deflie the bodies, nor damn the souls of the slain.
- Damn the souls of the slain..? (she'd sing "Friday")


(In a completely different place)
Parthan Scout : Sir! Sir! Armenians are approaching our city!
The last Parthian King : What?! Impossible! We've fled to the very corner of the world! Armenians would never.. Oh my.. Bend me over and call me Shirley! ARMENIANS APPROACH!


- Sir, why are we invading Partha anyway?
I need ice to cool my drinks, and Partha has plenty of it.
(Partha and snow in one sentence, yes. But take a look at this!)


Last Parthian King : OUR MIGHTY WALL WILL STOP YOU, ARMENIANS!


Last Parthian King : Why are the gates open..?
Gatekeeper 1 : I'm Armenian.
Last Parthian King : And the other gatekeeper?
Gatekeeper 1 : He wasn't Armenian.

Spoiler: I didn't like my neighbors anyway.. (click to show/hide)

Masseur? Was that the last Parthan city?


- Let me consult the newstablet (made of stone obviously).. yes. Yes it was!


Good! Never again will foolish Parthans run over my crops!
- What are you growing, sir?
A beard, obviously.
- I mean the crop---


- WHat just happened? Who are these generals?!
Does it matter..? *Carves an X next to Scythia*


Sparta : How long do we have to wait for these reinforcements, Thermon?
Thermon : There is a small problem that is delaying our training.
Sparta : What is it this time?! WE'RE TIRED OF YOUR INCOMPETENCE!
Give this guy a break, he really has a problem.
Sparta : How could you.. oh...


Sparta : Balls..


Larissa : Do not worry, Sparta! We will never be tricked by Armenians! Our gates shall remain sealed! Wait a minute.. it's the mailman. A package? For me? The book "Guide on how to siege Larissa"? I'll open the gates right away!


Sparta : Hey.. the mailman is here too! Oh.. ohh they tricked us!



Now that we have this useless faction out of the way, we can finally live in pea--
Romans : NOT SO FAST!
What is it now?
Romans : Take a look at this!


I don't...
Romans : Now this! OUTRAGE! This is the most foul way of killing a man!


How about this one? Was it better?


Romans : WHAT?! THIS MEANS WAR!
There is no talking with some people it seems.. I give you one chance to change your minds, Romans!
Romans : Even without generals, our armies will crush your puny forces! With all your troops engaged in Greece, we..
That's all i needed to know...
I want to introduce you to a few people... These are our Army Groups "Carthage 1" and "Carthage 2". Not very creative, but we had to name them on the run.


This here, is the "Hello, Thessalonica" army.


My next two friends are called : "Messana" and "Syracuse"
Romans : But.. these are the names of our Sicilian cities!
Oh.. i assure you there is absolutely no connection.


Here, we have army group Byzantium.


I assume you already know Ezio Auditore da Cavallo?


Oh.. and these are the Smiths. They are visitors from Spain.


They don't seem to like Rome too much..
Romans : This.. This..
Oh, that's not all of it. Here, i've marked the locations of our armies on this map. It wouldn't be fun if you didn't know where we are.


It is ON.

[Stworca]

Spoiler: map (click to show/hide)

If we consult the map, we can see how other factions fare (it is a freshly updated one. I had diplomats trade with everyone on the same turn)

Spoiler: Faction Overview (click to show/hide)

 
- Macedon got wiped out by Brutii
- Greece, Egypt, Seleucid, Pontus, Scythia and Partha obviously by us.
- Gaul are down to one province.
- Carthage has two provinces left. One in Spain, and the other one is Palma.
- Numidia has two provinces left.
- Dacia has three, but a few turns back they had five. Germans really press on them.
- Thrace has three, but Byzantium is about to be sieged by us.
- Spain has their 4 starting ones, but Julii just now declared war on them. If Julii won't advance in our direction, i predict entire Spain being red in a few turns.
- Britain is doing nicely, but it seems Ireland is still not taken.. sigh..
- Germans are the strongest faction besides Romans (if there is no civil war, you should count all Roman families as one faction) and knowing the retarded AI, they will attack the strongest faction in the game (us) rather than finish of Dacians.. So i predict an Armenia vs Germano-Roman war (and Numidia and Thrace.. But nobody cares about them)

Spoiler: Enemy Strength (click to show/hide)

 :
Brutii had a few stacks in Macedon 5 to 10 turns ago, so i assume they are hiding somewhere, like the damn Greeks were..
Julii have 6 full stacks on the field.
Scipii also have 6, although only 3 threaten us at this moment.
I have absolutely no idea about German numbers.

I've added 10 000 pop to a few Roman cities, which should trigger Marian reform soon. If not - i can not wait any longer, as Romans declared war on me already, and advance their troops.

Spoiler: The most likely scenario for Julii and Germans (click to show/hide)

 :
Germans and Julii will attack our newly conquered Scythian provinces, and advance to Kotais through northern routes but these are hostile, frozen wastelands. It will take ages for them to capture them (we're talking 5+ turns to get to the first one for Julii. Another 4 to get a second city.
The shortest passages are.. bridges.. And bridges mean death for AI. It is very likely that we will conquer Rome by the time they even get to us.
However, it is also possible that they will head for Greece. These provinces are NOT useless, and have no bridges. It's a more "FUN" alternative.

Spoiler: Now a quick Armenian Forces overview (click to show/hide)

:
Armies in Egypt and Jerusalem are nearly ready, they need only a unit or two to be shipped to random front line. They are a mix of randomly picked units. I don't care at this point.
Byzantium army group is trash mostly, but Thrace is a pathetic faction that will die regardless.
The army on northern Thrace border is made of mercs, they too shouldn't have any problems with naked barbarians.
Army group "Amazon" will be staying in the city, otherwise the damn thing will rebel (it is the most rebellious piece of crap in the game.. I took it only to cease the "Uhh.. kill Amazons" messages.)
With Brutii armies missing, Thessalonica is as good as lost. I'll see what happens next from there.
Sicily is doomed, unless Scipii remaining stacks are there.
As for Army groups Carthage 1 and 2.. I want a repeat of Carrhae.

Spoiler: Armenian Treasury (click to show/hide)

Despite building something in every single city that can build anything, buying all the mercenaries in the world, having the largest army, fleet, 30 agents and more.. We still are gaining money each turn. Never worry about gold.

Perhaps I should've marked Kotais Garrison as an army too, because They're nearly a full stack, but this one will not move anywhere. Thus i've decided not to.
Oi.

[monk12]

Droppin' like flies now!


Unrelated, my (nearly) full stack lost its leader in the process of murdering a Gallic garrison when reinforcements arrived to save it. The enemy general and 5 of his bodyguards were the only survivors- when I attacked the city to polish them off, I lost the autobattle ><  NEVER AUTOBATTLE AGAIN

[Stworca]

Autobattles against cities are probably the worst of them all. You will lose hundreds of units to anything above \ wooden palisade, and you have an enormous chance of losing to large stone ones. Epic walls i've never seen in non-BI. At least AI never builds them. But i assume an auto battle against epic walls (and one unit of peasants as garrison) would wipe your entire army.

Rome AI is retarded.. but the Player Assistance AI is at the very bottom of stupidity chasm. Idiots charge phalanx head on, lose 820 troops against militia hoplites guarded Kydonia (there is a reason why i've cut it out) and charge head on with your general. The more you control manually, the better.

Hell.. If you facerolled the keyboard and randomly clicked with the mouse you'd at least have a CHANCE of success. Assistance AI ALWAYS fails.

[monk12]

I can't count the number of family members I've lost over the years because they charged from across the freaking map straight into the enemy formation while I was still skirmishing, or worse when I was defending and couldn't break formation without risking the entire army.

My current try at Spain is going much better- managed to sack the Carthaginian city straight off the bat and got a general from it (faction leader dies of old age quickly,) which gave me the cash and revenue stream I needed to hold off the first wave of Romans. I've got the Iberian peninsula under my thumb now, apart from the perpetually-besieged Osca. I'll probably lose that in the next few turns since my stack of reinforcements is mostly Iberian Infantry and a bit of cavalry, going up against a stack of Romans (well balanced Hastati/Triarii/Archers/Cav) and 2 stacks of Gauls (Swordsmen forever,) and it's going to arrive a day late anyway. I'm debating whether to commit to holding what I have or to invade Numidia in a bid to get more cash- I'm interested to see how you handle Spain.

[Zrk2]

What was that Amazon city? Is it a bonus or something? WTF?

[KaguroDraven]

It's hard to find, from my memory it isn't all that good, and the AI rarely ever takes it.