After some thought, the former football player decided to hit up the laundromat. At the very least there was sure to be some annoying asshole there who didn't know when to shut his mouth, and when he found that guy, he was going on a permanent dryer ride.
[5] For some reason, there actually is a Laundromat at the state fair and you go to it. You find some annoying prick talking to the pretty ladies like the creeper he is. You pick him up and shove him into a dryer and turn it on.
([5]+1)x3=18 points
Find a health potion.
[4] "Health Drink, COMING TO A STORE NEAR YOU!" you say right before chugging the whole thing. You feel slightly better.
New Action: Go back to freezing, ro suffocating people to death by spraying them with the Fire extinguisher
[3] vs. [4] (1 damage to yourself) You sort of accidently huff the Fire Extinguisher. Good job destroying your brain cells.
Pick up a corpse, beat cook to death with it.
[5] vs. [4] (1 damage) Well you didn't so much beat him to death as annoy him. RUN!!!!!
Remove all boobs that I can see.
[4] vs. [3] (killing blow) You can only see the Massive Pectorals on Captain Cook and it fills you with righteous RAEG!!! You slice them off and then stab him in his exposed heart. Finally, he's dead.
([4]+1)x3 = 15x2 = 30 points
Health: 13 out of 20
Inventory: Pistol 9/13, Katana, Turbo Boots
Points: 133
Health: 13 out of 20
Inventory: Football equipment (- 1 damage), baseball bat, balisong knife.
Points: 645
Health: 6 out of 20
Inventory: M16 Rifle 30/60, Grenade launcher 2/6, Cardboard box 3/4 full with extra-explosive gunpowder, Cardboard box 3/8 full of extra-hard jellybeans.
Points: 101
Health: 14 out of 20
Inventory: Flamethrower, box of easy-light matches, toolbox filled with basic tools (no wrench)
Points: 0
Health: 14 out of 20
Inventory: Katana, 14 Kunai, 15 Shurikens, 1 Fire Extinguisher, a water pistol, Unreliable "cannon" lighter, 50 yrds. of string, 31 1/2 copies of the New York Times.
Points: 89