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YO!

48 (19%)

I suspect I am, but am not diagnosed as such.

32 (12.6%)

NO!

164 (64.8%)

I've been diagnosed as such, but suspect I am not.

9 (3.6%)

Total Members Voted: 252

[Vector]

The other reverse part of it that I find interesting is that large pupils are typically judged to be "more attractive".

It's one of the things that indicates sexual arousal, like red lips and blushing cheeks.

Of course, the result is that many women wear makeup to make them look like they're in a constant state of fuckable arousal.

Things I hate about our society part over nine thousand.

[Criptfeind]

On the 'behavior cues' thing, I believe it really really does depend on what sorta person you are. For instance, my dad is super non verbal, and conversations with him are, when I am analyzing them and not just having them, fascinating. So much goes into the communication, we can get whole conversations done in a few words. It also... Is hard to describe... But when we need to make choices it can be a lot easier as we can feel what each other want and how much they want it in a way that is simply hard to put in words. But this deeper understanding is payed for in the fact that some times we have misinterpretations that cause issues. My mom on the other hand is very straightforward and to the point. If you do not literally tell her something she will not pick up on it. Although it makes conversations easier to understand, it also leads to more 'confrontation' as you have to talk about every choice before you do them.

In retrospect it is not a surprise at all they divorced.

For a long time I was a non verbal communicator like my dad, but when I started actively realizing the difference between the two types of communication I sorta made myself learn how to communicate in the other way, which is immensely helpful that I can now tailor all my communications to whomever I am talking to in whatever mix they happen to be.

Edit: Although I will say it has caused quite a bit of confusion in some people who see me communicate with other people that are vastly different from them.

[Siquo]

That and the whole eye contact thing.

Funny, I trained myself to look into people's eyes because I never did/dared. I know that when in conversation, you must look away once in a while or it becomes uncomfortable for the other person (staring is a dominance-game). When in the street, I look everyone in the eye. A while ago a friend told me people were afraid of me because I look them straight in the eye. All I was trying to do was make some human contact

Of course, the result is that many women wear makeup to make them look like they're in a constant state of fuckable arousal.

Ahwell, at least that's all tested on animals. I'm just glad we passed the stage of Bella Donna usage.

[Jreengus]

The thought that I could have Aspergers has been really bugging me for a while now. I never really thought of it and then about a month ago a friend told me that him and another friend thought I had it. That inspired me to do some research and now I'm really not sure, some stuff fits but other stuff doesn't or is hard for me to judge on my own. I don't suppose anyone else has any advice?

[Doomchild-]

if it really bothers you, consult a psychologist. if it's not something that bothers you or you dont get that "there's something 'wrong' with me" feeling, just ignore it. dont fix what isn't broken. self-diagnosing autism is like reading horoscopes, if you spend enough time on it you'll eventually find something that makes you doubt/believe. a lot of symptomes are so vague and general that only a profesional can really tell you if you have autism/asperger or if it's just an odd personality trait.

[Jreengus]

The thing is I can't consult psychologist, I've thought I should for years but the main reason I should is also the reason I can't. I'm terrified of... Embarrassment I guess you could call it. Unknown social situations? I'm not sure how to sum it up.

The long version is that I have a fear of talking to people in a situation I'm not extremely used to or to people I'm not used to/comfortable with. So for example my standard reaction to my phone ringing when I'm not expecting it to is to silence it and find something to hide it under, the very idea of actually calling and arranging an appointment is just... It's just not going to happen I physically cannot do it.

[Siquo]

Ooh, I know that one! I solved it with alcohol. 

((But in all seriousness, I still haven't solved it. Although I do pick up the phone, nowadays. Some of the time. I solved it by getting a really social and outgoing girlfriend who now takes care of communicating logistics with all my friends. Yes, it's that bad, and yes I know that's not "solving" anything.))

It's weird because I can totally lock up in the face of some social situations, such as "Have a conversation", but sometimes, especially when there's conflict I can flare up and am often the most forward bigmouth of the group, usually getting shit done and solving stuff without actually letting shit escalate, using social skills and charisma I didn't know I possessed. (It usually starts with a conflict, I step in, assert authority and reasonableness, instantly do some common-ground-stuff, exacerbate our situation while expressing understanding for their situation, and leave the opponent an honourful way of leaving this mess, leaving them the "higher ground"). I can get people to get up and leave, and have them shake my hand and smile when they do. I then crawl back into my silent comfort corner and wonder where the hell that came from.

[Doomchild-]

The thing is I can't consult psychologist, I've thought I should for years but the main reason I should is also the reason I can't. I'm terrified of... Embarrassment I guess you could call it. Unknown social situations? I'm not sure how to sum it up.

The long version is that I have a fear of talking to people in a situation I'm not extremely used to or to people I'm not used to/comfortable with. So for example my standard reaction to my phone ringing when I'm not expecting it to is to silence it and find something to hide it under, the very idea of actually calling and arranging an appointment is just... It's just not going to happen I physically cannot do it.

actually, i know the feeling... i've given everyone i know a special ringtone so instantly know who's calling... if i get the standard ringtone i dont pick up.

as for making an appointment... i found a solution to that as well... i made my mother call, she also joined me when i went. find someone you can trust and have them set it up if you cant do it yourself

[Vector]

I know what you mean about talking on phones.

I have to make phonecalls in order to find housing, and it's destroying my nerves.

[x2yzh9]

Well, I have aspergers. It really affected me a lot in my early life, but when I realized socializing is a skill, not something you are born with or without I really started to improve.

[Grakelin]

Did this improvement take place some time after the last time we interacted here on the forum?

[G-Flex]

The thing is I can't consult psychologist, I've thought I should for years but the main reason I should is also the reason I can't. I'm terrified of... Embarrassment I guess you could call it. Unknown social situations? I'm not sure how to sum it up.

The long version is that I have a fear of talking to people in a situation I'm not extremely used to or to people I'm not used to/comfortable with. So for example my standard reaction to my phone ringing when I'm not expecting it to is to silence it and find something to hide it under, the very idea of actually calling and arranging an appointment is just... It's just not going to happen I physically cannot do it.

This could be a lot of things, pathological or not. There's a good chance you just have social anxiety of some form or another. I wouldn't sweat wondering what you "have" or not; you seem to know what's actually going on in your life/head, regardless of labels, so continue to work in that direction, I guess.

[sonerohi]

That could just be regular old Anxiety issues, which can be medicated fairly easily and effectively, should you get a doctor-certain appraisal of whether or not you have Anxiety.

[G-Flex]

That could just be regular old Anxiety issues, which can be medicated fairly easily and effectively, should you get a doctor-certain appraisal of whether or not you have Anxiety.

Why jump to medication as the first and only line of defense? Plenty of anxiety problems can also be solved without medication, and trying to solve them using only medication is fairly naive (although so is ruling out medication altogether).

[sonerohi]

I am in no way qualified to recommend how to solve problems outside of talking to a doctor and taking any medicine a qualified doctor recommends. I know for my anxiety + ADD I get some tasty Adderall, because the dopamine is supposed to work on the anxiety.