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[futility]

"What is that infernal beeping?!"
You roll over in bed, shifting to one side.  Your head feels like it was hit with a sledgehammer.  Something is beeping.  A terrible, unrelenting beeping that could only have been developed by someone who loathes sleep.  What on Earth did you do last night?  WHY IS IT BEEPING?!

You open your eyes.  A cellular phone.  Perfect.  Some jerk is calling you at some ungodly hour.  Ahhhh, it quit.  What time is it anyway?  2:45? That can't be right - must be 9 something, a trick of the eyes.  Back to sleep.

ZZzzZzZZZZZzzzZZzzzZzz

There it is again!!!

You lean over, with the sloth of a million puppies after playing fetch, with the ire of a hundred hives of hornets hit by baseballs, with the...

ZZZzzzZZZzzzzZZZ

"AUUUUUGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!"

--------------------------------------

It's 1:40AM here and I figured I'd start an open-ended roleplaying thingy.  Rules are basically this: no ridiculous shenanigans.  When I mean ridiculous shenanigans I mean like steam-powered german zombies. You want post-apocalypse? Fine. You want a night of heavy drinking? Fine. You want jedi knights? NO.  Get it? Got it? Good.

EDIT: For clarity - suggestions begin now!

[Strife26]

Night of heavy drinking after a movie night with friends featuring Doomsday, Sucker Punch, and all six Star Wars Movies. The heavy drinking came mostly when someone decided to put the Holiday Special in.

[Cerol Lenslens]

Night of heavy drinking after a movie night with friends featuring Doomsday, Sucker Punch, and all six Star Wars Movies. The heavy drinking came mostly when someone decided to put the Holiday Special in.

What's worse is it's not your cell phone. It belongs to the 'girl' you just rolled over onto while reaching for the noise.

You don't remember much of last night - you think you went out for a beer run after, or possibly during, the unsubtitled Wookiee scene - but it must have been interesting, because you think you may just have discovered a sasquatch! Huh, must've been in a Wookiee frame of mind...

Darn you Holiday Special! You've ruined yet another life!

[elitetaco3519]

(You know that there was 2 moves like this)
Check for missing compadres, if they dont show up, check the roof, or the elevator.

[futility]

You start to remember some things. There was a movie marathon with your friends.  "Friends" you ought to say.  Anyone who decides to throw in the Star Wars Christmas Special before getting black-out drunk is surely not worth your acquaintance. I wonder how much booze...

My god what is this hirsute being next to you?!  It's like a tribble crossed with homo erectus.  Surely this is no human. You've got to think of how to get rid of... her?

Wait a minute.  Something's not right.  Well you know something's not right, what with the missing link in bed with you, but you experience an overwhelming feeling of something amiss. Like when you're packing to come home from a trip and you know to the depths of your soul you're forgetting something.  Like that.

[V-Norrec]

You've forgotten that she is a hermaphrodite.  Suddenly you also remember that you have to go to the bathroom REALLY bad.

[Cerol Lenslens]

You've forgotten what you did last night. And you think it should be 9:00 because light is streaming through your window.

Wait, that's not the sun!

That's a police spotlight!

What did you do last night?

[futility]

Good lord you have to take a piss.  It's gonna be a real doozy - something you ought to build an ark to handle.  You run to the bathroom and you immediately feel the orgiastic pleasure of release. 

However your reverie is interrupted by a spotlight flashing across the bathroom window.  You hear the thrum of helicopter blades outside.  The squawk of a bullhorn pierces your ears.

"This is the Police! Come out with your hands up! We have you surrounded!" 

Great. First the headache. Then sasquatch. Then your bladder. Now police. Just great.

You don't know what you did last night but you'd better figure something out before you finish your urinary activities.  You can not go back to the joint.

[Fniff]

Go outside and surrender. Then realize that you have been modified to become a super-soldier and take the cops out. What the hell happened last night?

[futility]

You finish your bathroom duties after what must've been 5 minutes.  No joke.  You had no idea your bladder was capable of holding so much fluid.  Outside the fuzz is getting restless. 

Back in the bedroom, the yeti's awake and acting concerned.  "What the hell is going on?!"

You respond, "How should I know?  I don't remember anything about last night.  Who are you anyway?"

"I'm Steve," he responds.  Great.  You just shared a bed with "Steve".  You hope to God nothing happened in there.  "Remember, from the compound?  Whatever's up out there, we gotta scoot."

"How are we gonna manage that? The place is crawling with cops."

"Why don't you just kick some ass? You sure made some fireworks last night."

"What in the hell happened last night?"

"Man how fucked up were you?  Anyway, now's not the time.  Let's blow this joint.  You'll have to carry me - no way in hell I can keep up with you."

"What?!"

"Trust me man."

Whatever.  It sounds insane, but he sounds sincere enough, and you can't ignore the tension in his voice.  He hops on your back. Actually he's pretty light. Huh. "Don't get any ideas back there," you grunt.  "Once we get out of here, you're gonna explain what happened."

"Yeah, yeah.  Let's tear some ass!" 

...

God what a poor choice of words.

You open the door and hit the ground running.  There is a deafening CRACK.  Sights are moving by faster that you can see.  Steve is roaring with mirthful laughter.  Ok. You can't see.  Stopping is prudent.

What.

"Steve, wanna tell me where we are?"

[jetex1911]

You were in Chicago, where after drinking a tainted drink, you did a bunch of crazy things. mostly, you robbed a bank naked, that's the worst thing you did. Also, you ran over a Gypsy in your Getaway Car, who cursed you into being a Were-Dragon.

...

Yeah, let's just say you had a CRAZY night.

[Armok]

And then it turned out the safe you stole from the back contained some federal-whatever nanites. And you ate them.

[QuakeIV]

[jetex1911]

BUMP.

[futility]

A bump!? I figured I was gonna let this fall off the face of the Earth due to lack of interest.  I'll try to come up with something later tonight.