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Author Topic: Most Impressive Combat Reports  (Read 35031 times)

OMGTANGERINES

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Re: Most Impressive Combat Reports
« Reply #105 on: August 16, 2011, 02:03:45 pm »
The iron bolt strikes Urist McSwordmaster in the head, shattering the skull and tearing apart the brain through the *masterwork* Adamantine Helm *masterwork*.
Urist was Legendary Swordsdwarf/Dodger/Fighter etc, the iron bolt was fired by a two-bit Goblin bowman. I cried a little bit inside.
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Quote from: Girlinhat on July 21, 2011, 08:40:24 pm
We were hoping for a constant fort at some point, having players in different time zones so that the fort never actually stopped running.  Come back overnight and find a giant penis has been constructed.  Glory to the penis gods.

DrKillPatient

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Re: Most Impressive Combat Reports
« Reply #106 on: August 16, 2011, 02:16:30 pm »
During the final confrontation with the goblins at the fall of Bronzemountains, the militia commander/hammer lord managed to bash in the heads of the siege leaders in in near-perfect succession as the three squads converged on her and she entered a trance; when suddenly...

"The Hammer Lord bashes the General in the head, bruising the muscle, jamming the skull through the brain and tearing the brain!
General has been struck down.
The Hammer Lord bashes the Elite Bowman in the head, bruising the muscle, jamming the skull through the brain and tearing the brain!
Elite Bowman has been struck down.
The Hammer Lord bashes the Master Lasher in the head, bruising the muscle, jamming the skull through the brain and tearing the brain!
Master Lasher has been struck down.
The *Iron Ballista Bolt* strikes the Hammer Lord in the head, bruising the muscle, jamming the skull through the brain and tearing the brain!
Hammer Lord has been struck down."

Well fuck you too, siege operators.
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"Frankly, if you're hanging out with people who tell you to use v.begin() instead of &v[0], you need to rethink your social circle."
    Scott Meyers, Effective STL

I've written bash scripts to make using DF easier under Linux!

BloodBeard

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Re: Most Impressive Combat Reports
« Reply #107 on: August 16, 2011, 02:17:02 pm »
This was a while ago in my fort:



Yeah...
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FrisianDude

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Re: Most Impressive Combat Reports
« Reply #108 on: August 16, 2011, 03:35:24 pm »
Quote from: DrKillPatient on August 16, 2011, 02:16:30 pm
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Ohhh damn.

Quote from: BloodBeard on August 16, 2011, 02:17:02 pm
This was a while ago in my fort:



Yeah...
Not very impressive unless you say what kind of FB. :P One made of flame would, for example, die just like that without much effor.t
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A tiny, foul-tempered humanoid creature that dwells in the evil mountains. They are known to enjoy drinking liquor and will take any unguarded supplies of booze.

BloodBeard

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Re: Most Impressive Combat Reports
« Reply #109 on: August 16, 2011, 03:43:18 pm »
No weird material, flesh and blood FB.
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INSANEcyborg

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Re: Most Impressive Combat Reports
« Reply #110 on: August 16, 2011, 06:01:21 pm »
My personal favorite was from when the 31.xx first came out.  Back then I was still trying to figure out how to get my military working, and was having problems with gnomes drinking my booze.  Luckily I had brought some dogs with me.   One of them bit the gnome in the head, and ripped it off by shaking it about.  Never saw another gnome for the rest of that fort.  Of course, with no military, the fort didn't really live too long.
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Berserkenstein

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Re: Most Impressive Combat Reports
« Reply #111 on: August 16, 2011, 06:08:10 pm »
Quote from: FrisianDude on August 16, 2011, 03:35:24 pm
Quote from: DrKillPatient on August 16, 2011, 02:16:30 pm
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Ohhh damn.

Quote from: BloodBeard on August 16, 2011, 02:17:02 pm
This was a while ago in my fort:



Yeah...
Not very impressive unless you say what kind of FB. :P One made of flame would, for example, die just like that without much effor.t

Yeah, I've seen a Forgotten Beast made of flame get bitten in half.  No idea what made that dwarf decide to bite something made of fire though...
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Masta Crouton

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Re: Most Impressive Combat Reports
« Reply #112 on: August 16, 2011, 07:01:08 pm »
i always like flail/mace embeds, and i've actually gotten a few warhammer embeds. thats a crazy amount of force.
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blah900

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Re: Most Impressive Combat Reports
« Reply #113 on: August 16, 2011, 10:08:07 pm »
The best one I have had must have been is something like this


Quote
The recruit strikes the Goblin Axeman in the right hand with his right hand bruising and crushing the bone through {(Leather Gloves)}!
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nightwhips

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Re: Most Impressive Combat Reports
« Reply #114 on: August 17, 2011, 10:34:07 am »
I mentioned this in a different thread, but I recently equipped my first fort with a bunch of stolen goblin iron and steel armor. About this time a human law-giver diplomat arrived and justice started being served. My captain of the guard murdered someone (a learning experience for me) and her officer went to mete out justice. I see the reports: [both dwarves] are fighting! I check the reports: long string of [Officer] blah blah but it is deflected by the [iron helm]! A BIG long string. But there are no counterattacks. I zoom in. The captain of the guard is sleeping peacefully, protected by her new steel armor. I don't think she ever woke up until after the officer left.

She later broke my trade depot while the traders were there, but that's a different story.
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Quote from: vonFaust on November 10, 2011, 03:15:28 pm
: Miner dwarves? In my volcano?

Quote from: Matoro on March 15, 2012, 11:12:31 am
:I put childs into danger room...
They die, and their parents care nothing because legendary dining room.

Marklar

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Re: Most Impressive Combat Reports
« Reply #115 on: August 17, 2011, 05:18:15 pm »


I love this game.

EDIT: link now works me thinks
« Last Edit: August 17, 2011, 05:21:41 pm by Marklar »
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Quote from: PalladiumDawn on August 24, 2011, 10:41:15 am
I sense a political conspiracy...Rewriting the story of leader's demise at the hand of goblins to treacherous regicide by fellow dwarfs: "et tu, Urist?"

acetech09

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Re: Most Impressive Combat Reports
« Reply #116 on: August 17, 2011, 11:28:51 pm »
An incoming dwarf caravan gets ambushed by my first-ever giant to show up.


Put it in pastebin coz its a bit long to do in-forum quotations (too lazy) but it is pretty epic:

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I challenge you to a game of 'Hide the Sausage', to the death.

Oliolli

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Re: Most Impressive Combat Reports
« Reply #117 on: August 17, 2011, 11:54:12 pm »
Quote from: Marklar on August 17, 2011, 05:18:15 pm


I love this game.

EDIT: link now works me thinks

Did the merchant survive?
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Quote from: Girlinhat
When all you've got is an adjustable spanner and an entire freight warehouse of terrifying cogs and gears, everything looks like "just a prototype".
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You all turned Swordthunders into a bastion of madness that seems to warp in on itself under its own hatred of sanity.  I'm so happy!
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drowning babies everywhere o-o

Inkster

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Re: Most Impressive Combat Reports
« Reply #118 on: August 18, 2011, 01:19:05 am »
I guess the most impressive I remember is when I had a hunter prowling the area. The only thing she finds is a panda, so she gets close and takes a single shot that pierced it's heart and had it bleed to death. She had just come with a migrant wave and was, at most, adequate at archery and markdwarfship.
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Trippin

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Re: Most Impressive Combat Reports
« Reply #119 on: August 18, 2011, 01:25:14 am »
my militia commander comes up to a giant badger thats been mauling my haulers, smacks it with his artifact silver war-hammer a few times, breaking its legs, and scratches it in the throat, which opens the main artery and it bleeds out shortly thereafter.

he was a legendary hammerdwarf, and it bled out before he brained it.

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Quote from: Aqizzar on August 05, 2009, 04:09:31 am
I imagine that every fortress will eventually become a roiling mass of naked, muddy beardballs so fat they have to travel by rolling around.
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