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Author Topic: Dwarven Parenting  (Read 698 times)

Norwegian Chris

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Dwarven Parenting
« on: June 06, 2011, 01:30:40 pm »

Seeing as how babies cannot do anything and they are usually carried by their mothers anyway, I tend to ignore them completely.

So anyhoo, Urist McMother gets annoyed by her eight month old son's beard always tickling her and decides to put him down. Somehow, Urist McBabyface manages to crawl twenty levels to the surface, go to a river where he falls in and is swept away by a current. His troubles do not end there mind you as I was lucky enough to find an embark site with a waterfall in it. So anyhoo, he comes to the six z-level high waterfall and falls into the river below and somehow SURVIVES! He only injuries he sustained was some minor bruising. So now he's probably bawling his eyes out as he tries to crawl back to find his mother who abandoned him in the first place. So while aimlessly wandering around he, gets to the top of some hard to reach plateu and just sits there. That is when I notice the announcement; ¨Badger Boar is enraged!¨...

So with the exception of a newly added ¨Burial¨ job to the queue, no one really seems to mind. Almost two months pass before his mother cancels a ¨Find baby¨ job because the ¨job item is misplaced¨.

What has your dwarves done that has made you want to call child services?
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Urist McHappy has entered a fit of euphoria!
Urist McHappy hugs the Fish Cleaner in the upper body, jamming his love through the brain and warming his callous heart!
The Fish Cleaner has been taught the value of friendship!

Necro910

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Re: Dwarven Parenting
« Reply #1 on: June 06, 2011, 01:36:22 pm »

A dwarf in the military had its baby survive to adulthood.

Norwegian Chris

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Re: Dwarven Parenting
« Reply #2 on: June 06, 2011, 01:39:58 pm »

A dwarf in the military had its baby survive to adulthood.
Impressive
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Urist McHappy has entered a fit of euphoria!
Urist McHappy hugs the Fish Cleaner in the upper body, jamming his love through the brain and warming his callous heart!
The Fish Cleaner has been taught the value of friendship!

Necro910

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Re: Dwarven Parenting
« Reply #3 on: June 06, 2011, 01:41:41 pm »

A dwarf in the military had its baby survive to adulthood.
Impressive
No, that's why I called child services.

She was doing it wrong!

Lectorog

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Re: Dwarven Parenting
« Reply #4 on: June 06, 2011, 01:46:46 pm »

This thread needs mentioned.

And baby shields. Surprisingly effective, but that may be considered abuse.
We might overlook it if they would produce more...
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Girlinhat

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Re: Dwarven Parenting
« Reply #5 on: June 06, 2011, 02:23:56 pm »

Someone has a quote from me in their sig, about how to intentionally throw babies into your dining hall AND make sure that no one accidentally catches and saves them.  Hopefully this person will post, and my glory can be reaffirmed.

As for the dwarves themselves, I'm reminded of my miner in a very early fort.  She dug into hell through normal stone, there was no SMR in the way.  I immediately activated my alert burrow and ordered a floor.  My miner ran up the stairs, grabbed the stone at the top of the stairs, and plugged the shaft.  Leaving her child on the other side.  This child was assaulted by hell itself - but managed to kill a steam demon with its little dwarven fists of fury, before being struck down by a salt demon.  The mother continued on to have a drink and complain about the lack of a well.