Saint - I know I'm new here - but maybe you could be a bit more careful with your tone. You sound mildly insulting/holier than thou, but I figure that wasn't your purpose
You might want to look at IL-2 Sturmovik (WWII combat flight simulator) and War in the Pacific: Admiral's Edition (grand strategy, extremely complex. 1 hour's worth of thinking for 1 turn). They won't hold your hand, they'll probably chop it off if they see it. You might like it if you're into realism and difficulty.
SPAZ is more about you choosing the right systems to be in. You need to travel to those systems whose level is high enough that it'll give you a really tough challenge, and that'll make you level up faster. I realized that only after my first playthrough, and I'm guessing maybe you haven't gotten there yet. I always go for levels which are around or slightly above my own level. It's a challenge, even with the bigger ships, and every now and then you'll stay in battle longer than you should've, lose a couple of big ships and run out of rez, putting you in a very tight situation for awhile.
Also... just fight through the gates. I very, very rarely don't fight through them. You can always come back and do some missions to get stuff up. The only reason why I won't fight to get to another system is if I really need some tech that the UTA has, and either they're too strong for me to take down their base and steal it or I cannot find any missions to get them to like me enough to buy it.
I suggest you give it another go. Always go for high level systems (around your level), max the shield tech, and missiles work really well. I use those that split into lots of tiny missiles. Get your wingmen equipped with beam weapons, and once the shields of the enemies are down, blast'em off the skies with missiles. That should be a technique that works for a bit - and it's not the kind of works where it becomes a grind and trivial. Not if you're in the tough systems.
The game really comes into its own as you start getting the bigger and bigger ships, and more wingmen. I find the last part of the game to be the most interesting, with an element of high-level strategy which is really interesting, and that I'd like to see during the game too (perhaps you could be a faction too, I dunno).