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Author Topic: Funny/Awesome/retarded gods  (Read 11917 times)

loose nut

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Re: Funny/Awesome/retarded gods
« Reply #30 on: June 06, 2011, 10:54:40 pm »

In fort #4:

"This figurine is a superiorly designed image of Ottan, the deity of poetry, writing and scholarship, depicted as a female dwarf in gabbro. Ottan looks confused."

This god, I understand!
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Eric Blank

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Re: Funny/Awesome/retarded gods
« Reply #31 on: June 06, 2011, 11:48:44 pm »

I have an engraving of a goddess of trade, wealth, minerals, and jewels, depicted as a female dwarf. She's depicted as laboring in the engraving. Now there's a god that deserves some respect; a very dwarven worker.
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I make Spellcrafts!
I have no idea where anything is. I have no idea what anything does. This is not merely a madhouse designed by a madman, but a madhouse designed by many madmen, each with an intense hatred for the previous madman's unique flavour of madness.

Oliolli

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Re: Funny/Awesome/retarded gods
« Reply #32 on: June 07, 2011, 01:50:10 am »

Ottan, the deity of poetry, writing and scholarship, depicted as a female dwarf in gabbro. Ottan looks confused.

Komut Loottulips, the goddess of music, dance, misery and torture.

I like these two :D
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Quote from: Girlinhat
When all you've got is an adjustable spanner and an entire freight warehouse of terrifying cogs and gears, everything looks like "just a prototype".
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You all turned Swordthunders into a bastion of madness that seems to warp in on itself under its own hatred of sanity.  I'm so happy!
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drowning babies everywhere o-o

thunktone

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Re: Funny/Awesome/retarded gods
« Reply #33 on: June 07, 2011, 04:17:28 am »

One Dwarven civ had a goddess of lust, darkness and fish. I kept looking at the relationships screen for every dwarf in every migration wave and not a single one would admit to worshipping her.
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Whenever dwarves get into melee, their first reaction is to place their baby on their head, to allow free use of both hands, and thus any headshot instead strikes the child.

Kattaroten

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Re: Funny/Awesome/retarded gods
« Reply #34 on: June 07, 2011, 05:09:12 am »

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v3gNQ2KYCb4 Cthulhu!

EDIT: The godess of lust, darkness and fish that is...
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Dwarf Fortress: You have a team of hundreds working for four years to make a game where you save the world again. We have one guy for four years make a near-infinite world generator, write the physics,generate histories,form detailed descriptions of every human, elf, dwarf, and goblin generated, caverns, and huge randomly generated monsters made out of who knows what. You. guys. suck.

jaxy15

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Re: Funny/Awesome/retarded gods
« Reply #35 on: June 07, 2011, 05:21:18 am »

I have an axedwarf companion who praises a god of food.
Life is, in a word, food.
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Oliolli

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Re: Funny/Awesome/retarded gods
« Reply #36 on: June 07, 2011, 05:42:32 am »

I have an axedwarf companion who praises a god of food.
Life is, in a word, food.

Here is what you do.

Get rid of the axe"dwarf", preferrably through magma.

Clearly an elf in disguise.
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Quote from: Girlinhat
When all you've got is an adjustable spanner and an entire freight warehouse of terrifying cogs and gears, everything looks like "just a prototype".
Quote from: ThatAussieGuy
You all turned Swordthunders into a bastion of madness that seems to warp in on itself under its own hatred of sanity.  I'm so happy!
Quote from: Loud Whispers
drowning babies everywhere o-o

Teneb

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Re: Funny/Awesome/retarded gods
« Reply #37 on: June 07, 2011, 11:43:49 am »

Got a dwarfen god of dancing not a long time ago. Half the fort worshipped him, too.
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Oliolli

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Re: Funny/Awesome/retarded gods
« Reply #38 on: June 07, 2011, 11:51:55 am »

Got a dwarfen god of dancing not a long time ago. Half the fort worshipped him, too.

Let me guess:
"Urist McFaithful has organized a party at the Rhyolite Statue."
"Urist McFaithful has organized a party at the Rhyolite Statue."
"Urist McFaithful has organized a party at the Rhyolite Statue."
"Urist McFaithful has organized a party at the Rhyolite Statue."
"Urist McFaithful has organized a party at the Rhyolite Statue."
"Urist McFaithful has organized a party at the Rhyolite Statue."
"Urist McFaithful has organized a party at the Rhyolite Statue."
"Urist McFaithful has organized a party at the Rhyolite Statue."
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Quote from: Girlinhat
When all you've got is an adjustable spanner and an entire freight warehouse of terrifying cogs and gears, everything looks like "just a prototype".
Quote from: ThatAussieGuy
You all turned Swordthunders into a bastion of madness that seems to warp in on itself under its own hatred of sanity.  I'm so happy!
Quote from: Loud Whispers
drowning babies everywhere o-o

nordak

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Re: Funny/Awesome/retarded gods
« Reply #39 on: June 07, 2011, 11:57:18 am »

Avuz - God of Volcanoes, fire, metal and minerals.  Takes the form of a male stone dwarf... This god should be worshipped by all, considering that my current fort is on a volcano embark.
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Exerpt from townbrush.txt by Internet Kraken:

"Nobody wants to live in Townbrush, and for good reason. Almost everyone that has come to Townbrush has been eaten, stabbed, crushed, drowned, hacked, incinerated, or beaten to death with an octopre skin backpack. When we're not under siege, we're being attacked by Forgotten Beasts. And when we're not being attacked by Forgotten Beasts, there's probably a zombie whale crushing someone to death in the dining room."

Talanic

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Re: Funny/Awesome/retarded gods
« Reply #40 on: June 07, 2011, 09:42:17 pm »

I can't remember what she was goddess of, but I remember a stonecrafter churning a bunch of figurines of her out.

Most of the figurines were lowest-quality and depicted her being really ticked.  Funny thing is, as the quality improved, so did her mood as shown in the figurines.
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I'm an aspiring Science Fiction and Fantasy writer.  I'm telling the tale of a hapless cyborg everyman lost in a savage fantasy world.

My first review from a real magazine!

Nyxalinth

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Re: Funny/Awesome/retarded gods
« Reply #41 on: June 07, 2011, 10:38:54 pm »

I had a god called something like lindwig the worship of oil. he was associated with mountains.

He obviously works for BP...
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Nyxalinth likes the color blue, gaming, writing, art, cats for their aloofness,  Transformers for their sentience and ability to transform, and the Constructicons for their hard work and building skills. Whenever possible, she prefers to consume bacon cheeseburgers and pinot noir. She absolutely detests stupid people.

Nyxalinth

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Re: Funny/Awesome/retarded gods
« Reply #42 on: June 07, 2011, 10:40:49 pm »

I once got a god of chaos and order. I don't know if that is stupid or if it's awesome.

Sheogorath/Jyggalag anyone?
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Nyxalinth likes the color blue, gaming, writing, art, cats for their aloofness,  Transformers for their sentience and ability to transform, and the Constructicons for their hard work and building skills. Whenever possible, she prefers to consume bacon cheeseburgers and pinot noir. She absolutely detests stupid people.

Eric Blank

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Re: Funny/Awesome/retarded gods
« Reply #43 on: June 08, 2011, 12:56:01 pm »

In the current civ Im playing there is a diety of salt. Nothing else, just salt.
Enor Blueseas the Oceanic Water. Often takes the form of a male dwarf.

Clearly the dwarves worship this guy because they're afraid of every water source in the world becoming dangerously salty if they don't.

There is also a popular deity of mercy and forgiveness, and another of charity, sacrifice, and generosity. Only one god of war, and only war, and one god of metals and fortresses!

I should just open the doors and let the damn ogres in! I've been running a fortress of elves for 6 years and didn't even realize it! Where did the enormous iron corkscrews and pipes go!?
« Last Edit: June 08, 2011, 01:02:11 pm by Eric Blank »
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I make Spellcrafts!
I have no idea where anything is. I have no idea what anything does. This is not merely a madhouse designed by a madman, but a madhouse designed by many madmen, each with an intense hatred for the previous madman's unique flavour of madness.

Talanic

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Re: Funny/Awesome/retarded gods
« Reply #44 on: June 08, 2011, 01:19:53 pm »

In the current civ Im playing there is a diety of salt. Nothing else, just salt.
Enor Blueseas the Oceanic Water. Often takes the form of a male dwarf.

Clearly the dwarves worship this guy because they're afraid of every water source in the world becoming dangerously salty if they don't.

Salt was really, really important to ancient peoples.  If you didn't have it, you probably couldn't preserve meats.  Any animals you slaughtered to eat through the winter had to be slaughtered IN WINTER, so they'dve already lost a significant portion of their fat and muscle - unless you worked extra hard to keep them well-fed, which is time you could've spent producing food (or whatever else you needed) for yourself. 

In fact, it's kinda a shame that salt isn't yet represented well in DF.  I have no doubt that it will be important eventually...
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I'm an aspiring Science Fiction and Fantasy writer.  I'm telling the tale of a hapless cyborg everyman lost in a savage fantasy world.

My first review from a real magazine!
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