I am telling you the closest thing to the truth that I can. I'm not perfect, just human, and the stuff that merely pissed me off about him is not stuff I'm telling you about. That stuff is just filed under "relationship stuff that pissed me off."
Even leading me, multiple times, from day 1, to question my mental health, an extreme lack of sympathy/empathy in general. Those were things I've put in a gray area. Never telling me I was beautiful, pretty, or anything else, while letting me know that he greeted his coworkers with "handsome man" or "beautiful woman" (based on Chinese habits, apparently), also gray area. Refusing to take down a picture of his ex-girlfriend while there were no pictures of me in the house, gray area. Verbally attacking me because I said I had a hard time getting along with his parents and generally putting down my family, gray area. Saying he'd enjoy destroying my best friend's relationship, gray area. Breaking up with me by email? Gray area. Same goes for gloating over his good psychiatric health insurance when I was desperately trying to get help.
Those were just dick moves.
I ask a dude if he'd seriously hurt me--dragging me around by my hair, threatening to throw me out the window, snarling like an animal--no, sweethearts, that's black. If he'd said "Dammit, Vector, sometimes I just want to shake some sense into you," that would have been gray in my book.
He admitted to intentional coercion and manipulation. He accused me of it to the point where I could barely talk straight for fearing that he'd decide I was trying to maneuver him in one way or another. I couldn't say a word. I still resort to hyper-precise speech because I am so damned terrified of being misinterpreted and causing an avalanche of anger.
Sometimes, he'd chew me out for eight hours straight, letting me know everything that was wrong with me. I can promise you I didn't do that. I could barely hold a two-minute conversation with anyone.
So there you have it. I'm not joking, I'm not kidding, and I don't like to demonize. It's up to you to decide what you believe, but I'm not recounting this story out of hate.