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Author Topic: Chill and Relaxed Progressive Irritation and Annoyance Thread  (Read 879007 times)

Nadaka

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Re: Vector's Chill and Relaxed Progressive Rage Thread
« Reply #3345 on: August 10, 2011, 10:16:09 am »

The Universal Unitarians will ordain just about anyone.
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RedKing

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Re: Vector's Chill and Relaxed Progressive Rage Thread
« Reply #3346 on: August 10, 2011, 10:23:39 am »

How stringent are the requirements for being considered ordained in the eyes of the law? I'm hoping my status as a Dudeist priest counts, but it'd be nice to know.
Probably varies by locality. But if the organization has done the paperwork to get official government recognition as a religion, then in theory, it's entirely an internal matter. I know there are official ordinations available for the Church of the Subgenius and Discordianism (I actually had a couple of friends who had a Discordian wedding. It was....different.) And it looks like you can be an ordained Pastafarian minister as well.

The Universal Unitarians will ordain just about anyone.
Yes and no. My wife's a UU, and takes the kids to UU church on Sundays. They're actually having trouble getting a replacement ordained minister, so they're having lay-led services for the moment. UU ordination is actually decently stringent, since they're not a joke religion. It's just that they don't require ordination to lead a service.
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olemars

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Re: Vector's Chill and Relaxed Progressive Rage Thread
« Reply #3347 on: August 10, 2011, 10:25:37 am »

You can be ordained as an Atheist minister too.
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MetalSlimeHunt

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Re: Vector's Chill and Relaxed Progressive Rage Thread
« Reply #3348 on: August 10, 2011, 10:38:50 am »

And it looks like you can be an ordained Pastafarian minister as well.
They all laughed at us, they all said, "Oh, come on, that's not really amusi-OH SWEET JESUS PUT THE FIRE DOWN! AAAHAHAHhahh!!!!" but now who's laughing? Well, now the Great Noodly One serves a legal purpose. Truely, we have been touched by his noodly appendage.
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RedKing

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Re: Vector's Chill and Relaxed Progressive Rage Thread
« Reply #3349 on: August 10, 2011, 10:52:57 am »

I sense a Pastafarian wedding would be different as well. And probably somewhat messy. And with a lot more pirates.
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G-Flex

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Re: Vector's Chill and Relaxed Progressive Rage Thread
« Reply #3350 on: August 10, 2011, 10:56:25 am »

I remember getting ordained as a Universal Life Church minister back in high school, when I was maybe 16. I have no idea how legit that was, but the guys running the yearbook my senior year were still cool about listing my name with "Rev." in the front. Hilarious.
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Reverie

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Re: Vector's Chill and Relaxed Progressive Rage Thread
« Reply #3351 on: August 10, 2011, 10:58:55 am »

I remember getting ordained as a Universal Life Church minister back in high school, when I was maybe 16. I have no idea how legit that was, but the guys running the yearbook my senior year were still cool about listing my name with "Rev." in the front. Hilarious.
This sounds interesting. What did you do to get ordained?
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Maggarg - Eater of chicke

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Re: Vector's Chill and Relaxed Progressive Rage Thread
« Reply #3352 on: August 10, 2011, 11:02:37 am »

I put my religion down as Heavy Metal on the census this year. I wonder what I have to do to be a Metal Priest?
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Nadaka

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Re: Vector's Chill and Relaxed Progressive Rage Thread
« Reply #3353 on: August 10, 2011, 11:08:47 am »

I put my religion down as Heavy Metal on the census this year. I wonder what I have to do to be a Metal Priest?

Change your first name to Judas, buy some leather pants and get a frizzy 80's style perm.
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Take me out to the black, tell them I ain't comin' back...
I don't care cause I'm still free, you can't take the sky from me...

I turned myself into a monster, to fight against the monsters of the world.

Reverie

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Re: Vector's Chill and Relaxed Progressive Rage Thread
« Reply #3354 on: August 10, 2011, 11:13:00 am »

I put my religion down as Heavy Metal on the census this year. I wonder what I have to do to be a Metal Priest?

Change your first name to Judas, buy some leather pants and get a frizzy 80's style perm.
...and practice yelling at the top of your lungs.
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Maggarg - Eater of chicke

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Re: Vector's Chill and Relaxed Progressive Rage Thread
« Reply #3355 on: August 10, 2011, 11:15:44 am »

I put my religion down as Heavy Metal on the census this year. I wonder what I have to do to be a Metal Priest?

Change your first name to Judas, buy some leather pants and get a frizzy 80's style perm.
...and practice yelling at the top of your lungs.

Pretty sure I can do all of those no problem.
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G-Flex

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Re: Vector's Chill and Relaxed Progressive Rage Thread
« Reply #3356 on: August 10, 2011, 11:16:41 am »

I remember getting ordained as a Universal Life Church minister back in high school, when I was maybe 16. I have no idea how legit that was, but the guys running the yearbook my senior year were still cool about listing my name with "Rev." in the front. Hilarious.
This sounds interesting. What did you do to get ordained?

I filled out a form on the Internet and printed out a certificate.
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RedKing

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Re: Vector's Chill and Relaxed Progressive Rage Thread
« Reply #3357 on: August 10, 2011, 11:20:22 am »

I put my religion down as Heavy Metal on the census this year. I wonder what I have to do to be a Metal Priest?

Change your first name to Judas, buy some leather pants and get a frizzy 80's style perm.
...and practice yelling at the top of your lungs.

Pretty sure I can do all of those no problem.
Also, you need to pick a suitably metal title (something like "Inquisitor of Skulls") and appropriate regalia. Can't go wrong with the spiked chrome miter.
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Remember, knowledge is power. The power to make other people feel stupid.
Quote from: Neil DeGrasse Tyson
Science is like an inoculation against charlatans who would have you believe whatever it is they tell you.

Maggarg - Eater of chicke

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Re: Vector's Chill and Relaxed Progressive Rage Thread
« Reply #3358 on: August 10, 2011, 11:23:13 am »

I put my religion down as Heavy Metal on the census this year. I wonder what I have to do to be a Metal Priest?

Change your first name to Judas, buy some leather pants and get a frizzy 80's style perm.
...and practice yelling at the top of your lungs.

Pretty sure I can do all of those no problem.
Also, you need to pick a suitably metal title (something like "Inquisitor of Skulls") and appropriate regalia. Can't go wrong with the spiked chrome miter.
Might go for a bit of corpsepaint, considering my love of black metal and all that is recorded in a tin shed at midnight.
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RedKing

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Re: Vector's Chill and Relaxed Progressive Rage Thread
« Reply #3359 on: August 10, 2011, 11:29:07 am »

I put my religion down as Heavy Metal on the census this year. I wonder what I have to do to be a Metal Priest?

Change your first name to Judas, buy some leather pants and get a frizzy 80's style perm.
...and practice yelling at the top of your lungs.

Pretty sure I can do all of those no problem.
Also, you need to pick a suitably metal title (something like "Inquisitor of Skulls") and appropriate regalia. Can't go wrong with the spiked chrome miter.
Might go for a bit of corpsepaint, considering my love of black metal and all that is recorded in a tin shed at midnight.
It's not corpsepaint, it's "self-anointing with the sacred oils". If you're gonna be a priest, you have to learn the jargon.

I kinda feel a little bad about mocking clergy, because at one point in my life I was seriously considering becoming one. I still bear no ill will towards the clergy, just the ones who use their positions to act like total douchebags (I'm looking at you, Fred Phelps and various Catholic pedophiles)
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Remember, knowledge is power. The power to make other people feel stupid.
Quote from: Neil DeGrasse Tyson
Science is like an inoculation against charlatans who would have you believe whatever it is they tell you.
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