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Author Topic: Chill and Relaxed Progressive Irritation and Annoyance Thread  (Read 856046 times)

Pnx

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Re: Vector's Chill and Relaxed Progressive Rage Thread
« Reply #3330 on: August 09, 2011, 09:52:41 pm »

The entire issue is one royal headache. I just want to say that I don't want anyone feeling I own a monopoly on their love. I don't want my feelings or the feelings of a person towards me to get in the way of someone else's affections. I'll admit I'm not immune to jealousy, and there's a small part of my hind-brain that would probably like to turn things into a "who does he/she love best" competition. But I'm capable of ignoring petty emotions, besides I'm happiest when I see other people happy.
I don't want to go around explaining this, or justifying this. I just want other people to be happy, and not hold themselves back on my account.
I wish this weren't such a difficult attitude to maintain.
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quinnr

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Re: Vector's Chill and Relaxed Progressive Rage Thread
« Reply #3331 on: August 09, 2011, 10:35:31 pm »

(I live in the US.)

I've been thinking about it recently, and wouldn't it make more sense to throw out marriage as an official part of the government, and replacing it with more rights that can be given through official contracts? I believe it would solve the whole boatload of problems surrounding marriage in the US, from the polygamy to gay marriage.
-----------------------
Speaking of gay, apparently the "Don't say 'gay'" law in Tennessee was changed a bit to not mention homosexuality directly, and passed senate, but hasn't been voted on in the House, at least what I can tell from this website., and would ban anything but materials 'exclusive to natural human reproduction science' (What constitutes 'natural human reproduction science'?) It was a couple months ago, but I think it's still relevant as it hasn't passed the House yet.
 
I could understand this if it banned talk of sexuality or human reproductive systems completely (before high school, the bill only references middle and elementary schools)...the bill seems to make it out that it's a subject should be talked to their children by parents...but this just limits it to 'natural human reproduction science'. It's a thinly veiled disguise of exactly what it was before. Great work on the keeping up the free speech!

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GlyphGryph

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Re: Vector's Chill and Relaxed Progressive Rage Thread
« Reply #3332 on: August 09, 2011, 10:38:49 pm »

Quote
As a side note, I'm not sure why women/multiple men polygamist families aren't more prevalent in fiction. I think I've seen it maybe once, ever. Something I noticed a while ago

You clearly don't read enough sci-fi. I think Heinlein was particularly big on this, but I think all the greats have done at least one story on this, and Asimov and Analog ran those sorts of stories fairly regularly. As a matter of fact, that's what got me into the poly thing fairly young. (What got me out of it was that I'm an exceptionally lazy antisocial hermit. Still open to the idea, but dear god do relationships take a lot of work. Not that its not enjoyable, but...)

Anyways, on to responses!

My opinions on each of the issues brought up:
Quote
Spousal support alone will be a nightmare.

Spousal support (with the exception of Rehabilitative Alimony, which obviously has its place in preventing abuse), is honestly a tremendously messed up system, and I don't support it. I don't see why anyone should have to pay for another persons wellbeing after the marriage has ended unless they explicitly agreed to it in a prenup. Even then, I don't see why it couldn't just be balanced the same way it is now, except comparing those still in the marriage with the incoming of the one who isn't. I mean, this is already a complicated calculation with a lot of variables, and I don't particularly see why anyone capable of doing the existing math would be incapable of weighing the additional

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Creditors:
If someone owes you money can you go after their spouse?
You can, but I don't think you should be allowed to unless it was a shared debt.
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Can you go after their poly spouse?

I'd assume this would work the same as above.
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Can you go after their poly spouse if they divorced them, or only part of the group marriage?
Whose names are on the debt? You can go after them. You shouldn't be going after anyone else.
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Can you only go after those remaining in the marriage for debt or should you have to attempt to collect the debt from them first and then go after spouses who have left via divorce? Should you just be able to straight up collect.
As to the rest of this: How is it handled in a regular marriage? Why couldn't it be handled exactly the same way?


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Then of course there are medical decisions.
This is already an issue with parents, siblings, spouses, and in numerous other situations. Yet we manage to figure it out. The easy solution is to declare one person, whoever, your conservator is what its commonly called when a judge appoints them, but I think people should be able to appoint them on their own, who would make decisions in situations like this - a role that I DON'T think should be limited to or automatically included as a function of marriage. I love my fiance, but I'm not entirely sure she'd be the first one I'd trust with important medical decisions... And anyways, being married doesn't automatically make you conservator as is.

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Capacity to contract
This is already handled by the poly families who basically form LLCs for this purpose since marriage is illegal for them. I don't see why a similar setup couldn't be maintained.

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Childcare decisions both during and after marriage
Does everyone who gets married have kids? Does every couple raise their kids the same way? It might be a bit more complicated, but there are pretty obvious benefits here as well, as far as child-raising is concerned. It's easier for a parent or parents to be dedicated to raising the kids, the families total income would likely be higher per person despite that, meaning children could be sent to better schools and stuff like that. This is an issue people would have to work out on their own, just like disagreements in a regular marriage.

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Wills Estates and Trusts
I'm pretty sure people should be and are able to do whatever they want in their will. And I fail to see how this makes it any more complicated than having more children, yet I've never seriously heard this as an argument against that. In all honesty, yeah, there will likely be increased complexity. But if people are able to handle that... why stop them?

It also means their loved ones (all their loved ones), get to see them in the hospital if they are sick. It would allow them to create family partnerships and better share resources. Taking leave if one of the people you love are sick. Filing for adoption, and not needing to keep any third party outside the relationship...

The thing is, poly relationships happen. They are happening, right now. Committed poly relationships, even. All this would do is give them the same rights and benefits that a normal couple who loves each other receive. Would it require tweaking some laws? Yes. Does it have potential complications? Yes, though they seem to be different only in strength, not in type. And the benefits could arguably be worth the risk.

Its obviously not for everyone. And obviously abuse is a possibility, just like in any relationship. But I don't think the fact that some people, even most people, get it wrong is a reason to deny it to those who get it right. Especially since most one on one marriages seem to get it wrong nowadays anyways (and have, traditionally).


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Truean

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Re: Vector's Chill and Relaxed Progressive Rage Thread
« Reply #3333 on: August 10, 2011, 12:30:21 am »

[Disclaimer, none of the following is legal advice. Please seek legal counsel licensed to practice in your jurisdiction if you require assistance]

My opinions on each of the issues brought up:
Quote
Spousal support alone will be a nightmare.

Spousal support (with the exception of Rehabilitative Alimony, which obviously has its place in preventing abuse), is honestly a tremendously messed up system, and I don't support it. I don't see why anyone should have to pay for another persons wellbeing after the marriage has ended unless they explicitly agreed to it in a prenup. Even then, I don't see why it couldn't just be balanced the same way it is now, except comparing those still in the marriage with the incoming of the one who isn't. I mean, this is already a complicated calculation with a lot of variables, and I don't particularly see why anyone capable of doing the existing math would be incapable of weighing the additional

The Position in Support of Spousal Support:
I can give you the traditional answer scenario: "She spent 25 years raising the kids, has no work history because of that and now you're just gonna toss her for a newer model wife?" <--- Something's not right here. Moreover, spouses have a legal duty to support one another for numerous reasons. First, if you don't support your spouse, then the state might end up doing it and we aren't happy about that prospect, then there's morals, ethics, all that stuff people don't care about....

O but didn't you make a contract to do that:
More in line with your view I submit, you made a commitment for life in the contract anyhow, "til death do us part." Well you're still alive.... Used to be you couldn't get out through divorce at all. Essentially this is you voluntarily leaving a contract and commitment you entered into. In a way you did explicitly agree to form a marital partnership with a person for life expressly by the language "til death do us part." It isn't just ceremonial though we tend to think so today with our 60% divorce rate....

Who is where in the worksheets?
As you said, spousal support is already a massively complex thing. The issue isn't the math, it's figuring out how to determine the numbers and operations to use. States differ on determination method too making it extra special fun....Child support is more standardized, because the federal government got sick of picking up the tab for welfare to kids who had deadbeat fathers. So, the federal government said to the states, "standardize all your child support or we won't pay for your welfare or medicaid." The states grudgingly but quickly standardize child care [fakes shock].

First of all, how do you determine the number of dependents and dependents from other marriages and how do you allocate them? This gets extra tricky if you have say 7 people to start with married and then one "leaves." How do they leave: partially or completely? Can they divorce certain members of the group marriage or must they divorce all of them? This is the "interlocking poly rings" problem. Can person one (1) stay married to persons two through six (2-6) but divorce person seven (7)? If so, how the hell do you figure that one out in terms of spousal support? Does only person seven (7) owe spousal support to person one (1) because person (1) is still married to two through six (2-6)? Or not? Or is the spousal support a joint marital debt shared by persons two through seven (2-7).

The equations weren't meant to handle that and I truly doubt they can for several reasons. Sometimes courts take into account if the payor (person who pays) of spousal support (who would be which person here exactly?) has other dependents such as a new spouse or children from a different marriage than the one currently under divorce suit. How do you determine which of these individuals fit into what category? Furthermore, if a court takes other dependents into account then that might mean the alimony/spousal support for the one who leaves is going to be significantly reduced because the payor could get credit for having those other dependents? or should they? [shrugs]

Who is the "dominant spouse?" (who will be paying the spousal support). Is it the one spouse who makes the most money? Is it all the spouses in the group together compared to the one who is leaving? Is it the average amount of money made among them? What happens if all seven (7) of them leave at once and go their separate ways, who owes or receives support then??? ? It matters because you can't move on until you know this and we haven't the foggiest.

It only gets more complex from there and I didn't even really throw out an equation or mention any numbers yet really. That is to say, we don't even know how to get through the first step...! The old categories won't work with more than two spouses which means we need a complete hard reboot overhaul of the system to make this work.

Then of course you have division of property which depends if you are in a community property state or or a separate/marital property state and each of these has different problems for polygamy. It is no exaggeration to say this quickly turns into an unworkable, flaming mess. I'm not saying it's impossible, but it doesn't work under the current rules because you can't categorize. The old rules simply fall apart and you can't "just do it like before," because that system doesn't have the capacity for it  as it currently stands.
Quote
Quote
Creditors:
If someone owes you money can you go after their spouse?
You can, but I don't think you should be allowed to unless it was a shared debt.

Legally doesn't matter: http://www.bcsalliance.com/y_debtFAQ_olddebt.html

"Q: I am married but have a credit card that is in my name only, which I have recently defaulted on.  Can a creditor or debt collector go after my spouse for repayment of this debt even though his name isn't listed on the credit card?

A: Yes, marriage is like a partnership with each of you jointly liable for any debts incurred during the marriage.  It doesn't matter if your spouse is or isn't listed on the card as a joint accountholder, he or she can still be sued, have his wages garnished, etc., just as if he incurred the debt."

Marriage is a partnership; each is liable for the other's debt. In the US, they will sue you if your spouse goes into debt and defaults. It doesn't matter whose name is one what....

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Quote
Can you go after their poly spouse?

I'd assume this would work the same as above.

I dunno. That's the question isn't it? Marital partnership is different from other forms of partnership like a business partnership and those differences were put their traditionally because it was a "deep personal relationship of the couple." The law has traditionally treated business partnerships a little differently from marital partnerships and I'm really not sure which of these would win out given that the number increase would open the door to saying those differences would be abolished, because the traditional notions supporting them are at least eroded or even gone.
Quote
Quote
Can you go after their poly spouse if they divorced them, or only part of the group marriage?
Whose names are on the debt? You can go after them. You shouldn't be going after anyone else.

See above, you can go after spouses for most debts.

Quote
Quote
Can you only go after those remaining in the marriage for debt or should you have to attempt to collect the debt from them first and then go after spouses who have left via divorce? Should you just be able to straight up collect.
As to the rest of this: How is it handled in a regular marriage? Why couldn't it be handled exactly the same way?

It really does depend on the state you are in and debt collection is a huge area of law with variances by state but generally.... In a normal marriage you're "jointly liable" instead of "jointly and severally liable" and this is one of those many differences between a business partnership and a marital partnership. Jointly liable means you are also liable on debt. Jointly and severally liable means you are also liable on the entire debt instead of just your share and this only makes sense to do if you have more than two people.

Jointly and severally liability is a good thing for creditors and a bad thing for debtors. If you are jointly and severally liable (as opposed to just jointly) that means the creditor can come after you for the whole amount instead of going after your business partner too. They can then take the whole amount from you and then you have to worry about chasing your business partner down to make them pay their share IF.... IF they have anything to pay you with.... If your business partner doesn't have the money to pay their share, then practically speaking you're screwed for that amount.

The credit card companies have such a powerful lobby that they rewrote the whole damn bankruptcy code in 2005. They will change this if they can if/when polygamy happens if they can manage it....

Quote
Quote
Then of course there are medical decisions.
This is already an issue with parents, siblings, spouses, and in numerous other situations. Yet we manage to figure it out. The easy solution is to declare one person, whoever, your conservator is what its commonly called when a judge appoints them, but I think people should be able to appoint them on their own, who would make decisions in situations like this - a role that I DON'T think should be limited to or automatically included as a function of marriage. I love my fiance, but I'm not entirely sure she'd be the first one I'd trust with important medical decisions... And anyways, being married doesn't automatically make you conservator as is.

The difference is the spouse usually wins over parents and others. They are deemed closer in terms of "next of kin."

Even if I take your argument as 100% valid, (which I respectfully don't). Here's the problem, there has to be a default for people who don't make those arrangements. About 1/2 of all Americans don't have wills. This means when they die their stuff gets passed down through the default system of intestacy that the state sets up by statute.

People procrastinate like hell. They won't make these Power of Attorney/"person who makes the choice if I'm under" document things in advance or at least a big enough portion of them won't that it'll be a massive problem. It will be that last thing on the to do list that keeps getting pushed down and never gets done if they even know they have to do it at all. Until, of course, someone gets hit by a bus or whatever, they've never made all those lovely documents and now that decision needs to be made. The spouses need to figure that stuff out and in the absence of a document made beforehand appointing a POA. How is that gonna work if they disagree?

It isn't that you can't get around it, it is that there must be a default system for people who don't take the time to get around it with the proper documents beforehand (remember 1/2 of all Americans don't have wills....)

Quote
Quote
Capacity to contract
This is already handled by the poly families who basically form LLCs for this purpose since marriage is illegal for them. I don't see why a similar setup couldn't be maintained.

Remember how married couples are on the hook for spousal debts? Well, one criticism of that is, "what if my spouse does out, does something stupid, wracks up $10,000 in credit card debt in one night, and I specifically told him/her not to." Is it fair to hold that person liable? With your earlier statements of asking whose name is the card in, would you say no it isn't fair to hold that objecting spouse liable?

Yeah, that x7.... or however many poly spouses you have.

Moreover, again, this really is an "interlocking poly chain" problem like from the spousal support section above. What if you have the same seven people and person 1 divorces person 7 but stays hitched to persons 2-6? How do you apportion debt in this scenario? Does the same rule apply before and after person 1 gets divorced/leaves? Does it matter who signed for the debt in this scenario? Should it (it wouldn't in a "normal marriage." What if the debt in question came from person 7 whom person 1 had divorced while remaining married to persons 2-6? Even if the divorce (partial) cleared person 1 from direct liability to debt from person 7, could they be held liable nonetheless due to their marital debt from persons 2-6 to whom they are still married? Who knows?

Quote
Quote
Childcare decisions both during and after marriage
Does everyone who gets married have kids? Does every couple raise their kids the same way? It might be a bit more complicated, but there are pretty obvious benefits here as well, as far as child-raising is concerned. It's easier for a parent or parents to be dedicated to raising the kids, the families total income would likely be higher per person despite that, meaning children could be sent to better schools and stuff like that. This is an issue people would have to work out on their own, just like disagreements in a regular marriage.

Ok, yeah, you could have operational benefits from having essentially one parent in the poly group be the "daycare/childcare person" and at least possibly have higher combined income from a greater number of wage earners in the family.

The question is how do you conclusively make decisions. All of those additional people, who contribute more money overall and division of labor/child watching, will want a say. What do you do when they can't agree? Ideally it is something these people would work out on their own, but the point is that adding more decision makers makes making a decision harder, because they can all have different conflicting views. How do you resolve that when/if they won't budge. Now that's just when they are all happily married. Imagine the contested divorce situation where they can't agree on anything and the courts are involved..... Yeah....

Quote
Quote
Wills Estates and Trusts
I'm pretty sure people should be and are able to do whatever they want in their will. And I fail to see how this makes it any more complicated than having more children, yet I've never seriously heard this as an argument against that. In all honesty, yeah, there will likely be increased complexity. But if people are able to handle that... why stop them?

It also means their loved ones (all their loved ones), get to see them in the hospital if they are sick. It would allow them to create family partnerships and better share resources. Taking leave if one of the people you love are sick. Filing for adoption, and not needing to keep any third party outside the relationship...

Eh, it starts with testamentary freedom (doing what you wanna with your will) but there are restrictions and for good reason. It varies by state, but you can't disinherit a spouse and if you try, they can try to invalidate the will, claim spousal elective share, or dower. More spouses means more restrictions on what you can do with your stuff in your will. Traditionally in French Common Law (followed by LA State and many parts of Europe) they have child elective shares too....

Furthermore, there is per stirpes, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Per_stirpes. This part wouldn't be unworkable, just made more complex.

Then of course let's not forget life insurance, pension benefits, SSI, joint spousal property benefits, and the whole slew of other estate planning/elderly/retirement instruments that have a lot do to with spouses. The insurance company isn't going to pay out a dime it doesn't have to, neither is SSI or anyone else. Frankly that's a whole 'nother ball of wax and I've already made this too long....

I'm not saying this would break the laws of Wills Estates and Trusts I'm saying it could complicate it a lot and that could end up with unforeseen complications. It might be workable, but we can't ignore it and should plan for/take it into account to be responsible. We haven't yet....

Quote
The thing is, poly relationships happen. They are happening, right now. Committed poly relationships, even. All this would do is give them the same rights and benefits that a normal couple who loves each other receive. Would it require tweaking some laws? Yes. Does it have potential complications? Yes, though they seem to be different only in strength, not in type. And the benefits could arguably be worth the risk.

Its obviously not for everyone. And obviously abuse is a possibility, just like in any relationship. But I don't think the fact that some people, even most people, get it wrong is a reason to deny it to those who get it right. Especially since most one on one marriages seem to get it wrong nowadays anyways (and have, traditionally).

Again, not saying it is unworkable, but it does need work--a lot of it. Until and unless someone puts in that work, we would be irresponsible to do it willy nilly and just.... throw it out there praying it works.

Meh, I'm tired....
« Last Edit: August 10, 2011, 05:05:45 am by Truean »
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GlyphGryph

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Re: Vector's Chill and Relaxed Progressive Rage Thread
« Reply #3334 on: August 10, 2011, 12:43:51 am »

Well, you've at least managed to convince me I should never ever get married.

Which kind of sucks since my marriage is only a month away...

Anyways, it sounds like the whole god damn situation is pretty messed up, and the bulk of the poly problems are either "reverts to situation that exists minus marriage" (like medical issues and will issues) or is a simple scaling of an major issue that already exists with marriages (like most of the bullshit like the debt stuff I think is pretty messed up about marriages right now).

God, marriage to me now just sounds more like a scam than it ever did, and for the first time in a while I'm having pretty serious doubts about my own. Bluh. I need to go do some thinking.
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Truean

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Re: Vector's Chill and Relaxed Progressive Rage Thread
« Reply #3335 on: August 10, 2011, 01:04:27 am »

O shit.... Speaking of unintended consequences.... :(

Dude don't let this convince you not to get married. Listen to what I'm about to say please,

I still would've married Rob knowing all of the above and more. If you are with the right person it is totally worth it, I mean this.

Legal shit aside, functional marriage is about forming a deep friendship with someone. From what I've seen (both in examples to emulate and to avoid). The keys are finding healthy ways to deal with stress, have fun with one another, communicate and respect one another while taking things out and writing down big decisions when possible so there is no misunderstanding (cause it's all explained beforehand).

You simply will fight, Rob and I did sometimes. It is just how you deal with it. It is about finding common ground and respectfully arguing with one another. There will be pitfalls, but you can learn how to make it through them.

If he or she is worth it, then don't regret not marrying them.
Like I said, I confessed being jealous/envious of Rob's wife while respecting her absolutely. I'm not mature enough to see him with another woman because of this. He is damn near perfect, but he will never be mine....

I thought I had everything figured out. I was going to go to law school and it would be crazy to follow a man halfway across the country when I didn't have a job lined up and I had all kinds of reasonable sounding reasons not to go after him.... Except it turned out if I'd have followed him it could be me married to him in Canada having gone through those operations and living as a woman and as his wife.... Hence my jealousy/envy of his wife.... [is somewhat ashamed]

Regret is a terrible thing to live with and regret from not pursuing someone you love is the most terrible kind of regret.....

Hopefully I've counterbalanced what I said above....
« Last Edit: August 10, 2011, 01:06:33 am by Truean »
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The kinda human wreckage that you love

Current Spare Time Fiction Project: (C) 2010 http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=63660.0
Disclaimer: I never take cases online for ethical reasons. If you require an attorney; you need to find one licensed to practice in your jurisdiction. Never take anything online as legal advice, because each case is different and one size does not fit all. Wants nothing at all to do with law.

Please don't quote me.

GlyphGryph

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Re: Vector's Chill and Relaxed Progressive Rage Thread
« Reply #3336 on: August 10, 2011, 01:15:19 am »

See, the thing is, I've no questions in my mind about spending my life with her, thats certainly not the issue on the table.

But it almost seems like it would dirty the whole thing to pile all that legal bullshit on it.

To reduce it to an analogy, it would be like finding the car of your dreams and then filling it with mud because thats how you show people you like it for serious. When really, its just stupid.

My regrets come from the fact that everything I want out of a marriage, eveything in it that is important to me, is something I have right now. We've already proven twice over we're willing to follow each other around the world, that we're committed to making it work... I mean, I've always been sketchy about the whole marriage thing, and I'll admit I've tried to keep mostly ignorant of it because I know its something she wants.

While I feel like all getting married will accomplish is ruining everything we've got. Sort of like I'm betraying my ideals and cheapening the whole thing. Its like, "Not only do I love you as much as life itself, but lets sign this legal agreement to guarantee there's a nice set of punishments in place to disincentive us from ever changing our minds about that, and to guarantee that if one of us ever screws up really badly, the other person will be hurt just as bad." Heck, saddling her with my debt burden is the exact opposite thing I'd ever want to do, why would I go through with something that seems to have no other functional god damn purpose.

Heh, I guess I should probably keep this personal shit of the progressive rage thread and dump it in life advice or some shit. Except I don't really want any advice at this point, I just want to forget I ever thought about any of it.
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Truean

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Re: Vector's Chill and Relaxed Progressive Rage Thread
« Reply #3337 on: August 10, 2011, 01:30:21 am »

Looks like somebody needs to see the benefits:
Well come on now, let's not forget all those 1,138 benefits the United States government provides to legally married couples.

After all, if marriage was so terrible, then why do you think we GLBT want it so damn badly? ;).

http://gaylife.about.com/od/samesexmarriage/a/benefits.htm

http://gaylife.about.com/gi/o.htm?zi=1/XJ&zTi=1&sdn=gaylife&cdn=people&tm=15&f=10&su=p284.12.336.ip_&tt=2&bt=0&bts=0&zu=http%3A//www.gao.gov/archive/1997/og97016.pdf

It seriously is far from all bad and I would happily be a wife to a nice man who loved me. Some of those benefits are actually freaking great :).
« Last Edit: August 10, 2011, 01:35:09 am by Truean »
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The kinda human wreckage that you love

Current Spare Time Fiction Project: (C) 2010 http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=63660.0
Disclaimer: I never take cases online for ethical reasons. If you require an attorney; you need to find one licensed to practice in your jurisdiction. Never take anything online as legal advice, because each case is different and one size does not fit all. Wants nothing at all to do with law.

Please don't quote me.

quinnr

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Re: Vector's Chill and Relaxed Progressive Rage Thread
« Reply #3338 on: August 10, 2011, 01:51:43 am »

Looks like somebody needs to see the benefits:
Well come on now, let's not forget all those 1,138 benefits the United States government provides to legally married couples.

After all, if marriage was so terrible, then why do you think we GLBT want it so damn badly? ;).

....Oh wow, didn't realize that there were that many legal benefits to marriage. Makes sense why the BGLT community fights for it so much.

It just makes be quite upset to see how negative homosexuality is portrayed throughout the US. I remember being pretty depressed and wondering why I was the one to be 'messed up' for a year after I realized I was gay (around..thirteen years old, I think. Possibly 14) due to all of the negativity surrounding it. Heck, if it wasn't for all the positive projects I found while searching on the internet (NoH8, FCKH8, It Gets Better), I'd probably still hate being myself.

Still, the bad far outweights the good as far as the general perception towards homosexuality goes, that I've found. Like that link earlier about the girl sent to a school for delinquents because her parents found out she was gay. There's just so much seriously messed up and depressing stuff in the world. :-/
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JoshuaFH

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Re: Vector's Chill and Relaxed Progressive Rage Thread
« Reply #3339 on: August 10, 2011, 02:02:35 am »

I feel utterly ashamed that I've ignored this thread for as long as I have. It is merely a habit of mine to avoid serious debate, and while I will continue to avoid it, I would like to place this into my updated threads list.

To drop my two cents though, I feel that society is becoming more accepting of gay men and women everyday. I've had quite a few friends that are gay, and they rarely undergo harassment of any kind, from what I know.

I've lived in a few places where being a homophobe is the taboo, not being gay.

As a matter of fact, I used to be the Chief Justice of MCTI, and one of my most competent Justices, now Court Recorder, is gay. Of course, it was no determining factor, I just thought I'd mention it.

There's also a GLBTA at MCTI, and they serve some of the most delicious pastries there for treats while they meet and discuss. I never participated in one of their meetings, but the Staff Adviser was nice enough to share the leftovers with me.
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Leafsnail

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Re: Vector's Chill and Relaxed Progressive Rage Thread
« Reply #3340 on: August 10, 2011, 08:42:52 am »

Looks like somebody needs to see the benefits:
Well come on now, let's not forget all those 1,138 benefits the United States government provides to legally married couples.
Doesn't this constitute state enforcement/ endorsement of a religious ceremony?  I mean, sure, you can get married in a nonreligious ceremony, but...

I mean, my parents never married (doesn't make too much difference in the UK) and they've been together longer than many of their divorced friends :P.
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Andir

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Re: Vector's Chill and Relaxed Progressive Rage Thread
« Reply #3341 on: August 10, 2011, 08:59:45 am »

Looks like somebody needs to see the benefits:
Well come on now, let's not forget all those 1,138 benefits the United States government provides to legally married couples.
Doesn't this constitute state enforcement/ endorsement of a religious ceremony?  I mean, sure, you can get married in a nonreligious ceremony, but...

I mean, my parents never married (doesn't make too much difference in the UK) and they've been together longer than many of their divorced friends :P.
You don't need to have the ceremony to be declared married.  A judge can do it.

Edit: Actually, I was wrong... it looks like Ohio requires that you get a certification from some clergy (unless that's changed) ... that sucks.  Basically that would dictate that an Atheist cannot have legal marriage status unless you can convince a clergyman to agree to it.

There are various rules by state.
« Last Edit: August 10, 2011, 09:07:50 am by Andir »
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"Having faith" that the bridge will not fall, implies that the bridge itself isn't that trustworthy. It's not that different from "I pray that the bridge will hold my weight."

kaijyuu

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Re: Vector's Chill and Relaxed Progressive Rage Thread
« Reply #3342 on: August 10, 2011, 09:31:28 am »

However, shit, I do hope I wasn't being over the top.... I do hope kaijyuu realizes I wasn't trying to unload on his/her opinion. Rather I was trying to give it a high level of attention and respond to it properly. [Really hopes I did not make anyone at all uncomfortable]
Oh not at all. I found our exchange to be enlightening :)

Anywho I'll concede pretty much everything you said about marriage difficulties. I was underestimating things.
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Quote from: Chesterton
For, in order that men should resist injustice, something more is necessary than that they should think injustice unpleasant. They must think injustice absurd; above all, they must think it startling. They must retain the violence of a virgin astonishment. When the pessimist looks at any infamy, it is to him, after all, only a repetition of the infamy of existence. But the optimist sees injustice as something discordant and unexpected, and it stings him into action.

RedKing

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Re: Vector's Chill and Relaxed Progressive Rage Thread
« Reply #3343 on: August 10, 2011, 10:02:27 am »

And Ohio gets yet another black mark in my book. I know NC allows non-religious "civil service" marriages, because a few of our friends had them (mostly to save money).

I wonder how strict Ohio's definition of "clergy" is. Considering there are religious organizations that exist almost entirely as "mail-order ordination" houses, where you can be ordained for like $50.

Pseudo-edit: Actually, it looks like there are free ordinations available. I might just have to get me one of those. Could be handy to be able to whip out the "I'm a minister" card.
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Re: Vector's Chill and Relaxed Progressive Rage Thread
« Reply #3344 on: August 10, 2011, 10:11:18 am »

How stringent are the requirements for being considered ordained in the eyes of the law? I'm hoping my status as a Dudeist priest counts, but it'd be nice to know.
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In the days when Sussman was a novice, Minsky once came to him as he sat hacking at the PDP-6.
“What are you doing?”, asked Minsky. “I am training a randomly wired neural net to play Tic-Tac-Toe” Sussman replied. “Why is the net wired randomly?”, asked Minsky. “I do not want it to have any preconceptions of how to play”, Sussman said.
Minsky then shut his eyes. “Why do you close your eyes?”, Sussman asked his teacher.
“So that the room will be empty.”
At that moment, Sussman was enlightened.
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