Well, concerning the case of Achilles, there was still the deal with Briseis, to whom he occasionally refers exceptionally fondly (to the point where wikipedia claims he's referring to the relation as equal to that of a man and his wife). Besides, Briseis was practically kicking and screaming when she was dragged to Agamemnon's tent, so it was probably mutual (at least Ovid interpreted it that way). It's still possible he spent his time with his comrades, but I don't recall any mention in the Illiad pointing at that. Later authors do however speculate that he may also have had a sexual relation with Patroclus, which would make him bisexual as well as polygamous. How's that for a role model
Meh, Ovid.... Homer or bust.
BriseisI totally knew someone would bring up Briseis and was ready for it.
It never said he actually did anything sexual with her, which is odd given that they absolutely talked about the other guys doing things with their wives and used the word for sex in the original Greek.
Briseis was practically kicking and screaming when she was dragged to Agamemnon's tentBecause Agamemnon didn't care about her, wanted to rape her/enslave her, and do every horrible thing to her for the express purpose of pissing off Achilles and show he was "better than him." "I'm the big king, you're not. Nothing you have can't be taken by me.... Know your place and fight under me and my orders only." This lead directly to Achilles refusing to fight.
I'd kick and scream too. This goes to poor Briseis being justifiably scared shitless and doesn't necessarily reflect on any romantic relation to Achilles.
Agamemnon wanted to take something away from Achilles to assert his dominance as king over the man. He thought he saw some connection to this woman and latched on to try and inflict pain through her capture and possibly use her as a hostage. Plan... backfired....
In fact that argument can be used to say Achilles DIDN'T have a relationship with her. If he really loved her or lusted after her, he'd have risked more to get her back instead of just leaving her and refusing to fight. This arguably endangered her more. Contrast this to Achilles going murderously nuts over Patroclus.
To review: Girl gets taken, pride wounded, decided not to fight. Lover gets taken, kill 'em all.... He killed Hector, royalty, over Patroclus despite Hector's huge army that matched the Greeks well. Why didn't he go after Agamemnon, also Royalty with a big army. It just doesn't add up if he loved her.
(and don't say she's still alive and Patroclus was dead and that accounts for the difference in reaction. I'd argue a life of rape slavery is worse than death. So by that logic he should've been MORE pissed about her situation if he loved/lusted after her.)
How's that for a role model Actually yeah, this is a topic for most lit classes. Lots of people try to say Hector was the Hero, because he was a family man and tried to do the best he could. One could even say he came close to being honorable at times. Except no, Achilles was the role model, for the "Ancient Greek Heroic Code System of Honor."
The Iliad is about Troy the place and Achilles the guy. Its first lines read (depending on the translation)
"Rage--Goddes, sing the rage of Peleus' son Achilles...."
He was their role model 3000 years ago, though perhaps not ours....