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[Truean]

It always seems to amaze me how this is seen as hard, really. No, its incredibly easy except it requires the things horny people freaking lack: patience and brains.

1.) Get to know and be good friends with the person.

2.) Slowly test waters/ask.

Holy shit, a good rule is a couple consensual make out sessions that both people like. Instead of the obvious, people are just focused on the shortest distance between two points and see consent as a problem.... In short, just slow the crap down. It's pretty much a better rule all around: think, then do.

The problem with our bullshit "culture" is that it was bullshit before so we threw out lots of stuff slowly but surely, except we got rid of a few things we shouldn't have. Taking stuff slow is not one of those things we should've tossed. There were all sorts of reasons for that. Now, for some damn reason, it seems today's kids are talking about oral sex on the first date . Holy shit, what happened to not kissing on the first date...?

[KaelGotDwarves]

Now, for some damn reason, it seems today's kids are talking about oral sex on the first date . Holy shit, what happened to not kissing on the first date...?

Spoilers: For thousands of years humans have spoken about sex and more on first dates or meetings, and it's no more prevalent now than it was back in the "good old days". Simply depends what crowd you hang out with.

All that has changed is that now it's possible to negate the physical consequence of a pregnancy with science and the prevalence of porn and information/internet - leading to the current ongoing sexual movements - Which you hear about more thanks to the internet.

Basically - dumb kids have been having sex forever. I would know, having been a bit involved a tad bit early.

That being said, consent is good. Society has progressed a lot in the last thousands of years but certain aspects of stupid, selfish, and horny people refuse to change.

EDIT: Still can't negate the emotional consequences of sex, unless you're both sociopathic swingers

[Aqizzar]

Because unconscious women can consent to gang-rape in this country.

I am appalled and not the least bit shocked to see it turn out that way, since KBR can do no wrong under any administration.  Thanks, I guess, for the notification on the case's resolution.  I actually am surprised it took this long.

By the way, the original event in question prompted Senator Al Franken (D-MN) to introduce his very first bill back in 2009, a continuing amendment to the Defense Appropriations bill that would prevent any money going to a contractor (Halliburton and KBR name-dropped, but applying to any entity) that included such mandatory arbitration for their employees.

“Sec. 8104. (a) None of the funds appropriated or otherwise made available by this Act may be used for any existing or new Federal contract if the contractor or a subcontractor at any tier requires that an employee or independent contractor, as a condition of employment, sign a contract that mandates that the employee or independent contractor performing work under the contract or subcontract resolve through arbitration any claim under title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964 or any tort related to or arising out of sexual assault or harassment, including assault and battery, intentional infliction of emotional distress, false imprisonment, or negligent hiring, supervision, or retention.”

The amendment would impose the will of Congress on private individuals and companies in a retroactive fashion, in validating employment contracts without due process of law. It is a political amendment, really at bottom, representing sort of a political attack directed at Halliburton, which is politically a matter of sensitivity. Notwithstanding, the Congress should not be involved in writing or rewriting private contracts. That is just not how we should handle matters in the Senate, certainly without a lot of thought and care, and without the support or at least the opinion of the Department of Defense.

A video link from a blog Vector might enjoy.  It passed, and not unanimously by the way.  Yes, John McCain, along with 29 other Senators (all Republicans) were not moved enough by a story of a woman being denied the right to sue for rape and imprisonment by her coworkers to take a vote that could possibly deny Halliburton a contract.  I specifically remember McCain himself saying something to the effect of the contractors being too vital to the Iraqi effort to jeopardize, but since I can't find it, I can't exactly stand by it.

Since Halliburton/KRB is still there, one can only assume that they amended their employ contracts to abide by the new regulation.  One would assume that in a sane universe anyway, where Halliburton wasn't effectively a nation unto itself.

[KaelGotDwarves]

Ah yes... if you do not know of it, let me pass on the aptly named www.republicansforrape.org

[Kay12]

I have a hard time believing sexual assault is only about easy sex for the assaulter, because some assaulters have had normal sex lives besides their crimes (some have even had their partners participate in the crimes). At least some sexual offenders have a predator fetish of sorts - they just don't find normal sex as satisfying as sexual assaulting.

[scriver]

So, anyone heard of the goings-on around Martine Aubry, one of the people campaigning for president in France? Damn disgusting, it is. Power games in action, and pretty obvious ones at it.

[RedKing]

http://www.thisamericanlife.org/radio-archives/episode/440/game-changer
This week on This American Life: natural gas drilling corruption, ho! >_<

Certainly worth an hour listening to.

Yeah, I caught a good chunk of that over the weekend. Utterly depressing, especially since NC is considering hopping on the fracking bandwagon. And right now we have a Republican legislature with enough power to ramrod legislation through, and then override the governor's veto. It's already happened half a dozen times this year. Yay for unchecked power in the hands of a bunch of total douchebags.

[Truean]

Now, for some damn reason, it seems today's kids are talking about oral sex on the first date . Holy shit, what happened to not kissing on the first date...?

Spoilers: For thousands of years humans have spoken about sex and more on first dates or meetings, and it's no more prevalent now than it was back in the "good old days". Simply depends what crowd you hang out with.

All that has changed is that now it's possible to negate the physical consequence of a pregnancy with science and the prevalence of porn and information/internet - leading to the current ongoing sexual movements - Which you hear about more thanks to the internet.

Basically - dumb kids have been having sex forever. I would know, having been a bit involved a tad bit early.

That being said, consent is good. Society has progressed a lot in the last thousands of years but certain aspects of stupid, selfish, and horny people refuse to change.

EDIT: Still can't negate the emotional consequences of sex, unless you're both sociopathic swingers

They're um... [ahem] doing more than talking about it. First date is waay too soon for that, at least for me.... There's a massive "hook up" culture where that's pretty much all they do. So, I guess, they don't seem to have an emotional attachment, which I personally can't wrap my head around. Actually, I've had a couple of terrible first dates where I was "asked" to do this. Thankfully, the park I chose was less than 100ft from the police station in an area I knew very well.... So, nothing was going to happen, but still, ew.

There are all kinds of reasons this doesn't work, relationship stability, emotional/psychological, heck even just making sure you don't get an STD....

[MetalSlimeHunt]

I have a hard time believing sexual assault is only about easy sex for the assaulter, because some assaulters have had normal sex lives besides their crimes (some have even had their partners participate in the crimes). At least some sexual offenders have a predator fetish of sorts - they just don't find normal sex as satisfying as sexual assaulting.

I think it has more to do with a psychological status of total power over another person more than it has to do with sex. At least, that's what I learned from psychology.

[blackmagechill]

When I said sexual abuse I meant sexual assault. Like the kind described in work manuals (grabbing chests) on this happened quite literally backwards. After that, nobody said anything for the rest of the day,
and it was never spoken of again. I can't help but laugh at this situation, so it wasn't too scarring.

[KaelGotDwarves]

They're um... [ahem] doing more than talking about it. First date is waay too soon for that, at least for me.... There's a massive "hook up" culture where that's pretty much all they do. So, I guess, they don't seem to have an emotional attachment, which I personally can't wrap my head around. Actually, I've had a couple of terrible first dates where I was "asked" to do this. Thankfully, the park I chose was less than 100ft from the police station in an area I knew very well.... So, nothing was going to happen, but still, ew.

There are all kinds of reasons this doesn't work, relationship stability, emotional/psychological, heck even just making sure you don't get an STD....

... It doesn't work for you *facepalm* ...doesn't mean it doesn't work for everyone.

May I reiterate that people of all sorts have been having healthy hookups since well, forever. There is nothing justifiably ethically wrong with consenting sex between adults on the first date that doesn't also boil down to "I personally find the concept morally reprehensible". This is the year 2011 and in most areas of the US and elsewhere, we're pretty good at having sex without society falling apart if you're educated about it. Also, all the people that you meet out in public - they're having sex. Sometimes illicit, crazy sex - and with strangers too! Ever go to a bar or club or any place people hook up? And that's a-okay - who am I to judge as long as it's consenting adults.

The important thing is to establish communication and ground rules. Some people just want to fulfill certain biological, sexual urges and now they have the ability to do so minus what used to be a good chance at pregnancy. That was the actual, true beginning of the women's sexual liberation movement - that they could make a choice of when to have a baby through birth control and abortions and do not need to rely on men for many months to look after them as they did throughout much of the formative periods of human society. That's why limiting access to those things is a result of a complex power play by men whether they realise it or not.

Sex is mainly a big deal to those not getting any (healthly lovin').

[Truean]

They're um... [ahem] doing more than talking about it. First date is waay too soon for that, at least for me.... There's a massive "hook up" culture where that's pretty much all they do. So, I guess, they don't seem to have an emotional attachment, which I personally can't wrap my head around. Actually, I've had a couple of terrible first dates where I was "asked" to do this. Thankfully, the park I chose was less than 100ft from the police station in an area I knew very well.... So, nothing was going to happen, but still, ew.

There are all kinds of reasons this doesn't work, relationship stability, emotional/psychological, heck even just making sure you don't get an STD....

... It doesn't work for you *facepalm* ...doesn't mean it doesn't work for everyone.

May I reiterate that people of all sorts have been having healthy hookups since well, forever. There is nothing justifiably ethically wrong with consenting sex between adults on the first date that doesn't also boil down to "I personally find the concept morally reprehensible". This is the year 2011 and in most areas of the US and elsewhere, we're pretty good at having sex without society falling apart if you're educated about it. Also, all the people that you meet out in public - they're having sex. Sometimes illicit, crazy sex - and with strangers too! Ever go to a bar or club or any place people hook up? And that's a-okay - who am I to judge as long as it's consenting adults.

The important thing is to establish communication and ground rules. Some people just want to fulfill certain biological, sexual urges and now they have the ability to do so minus what used to be a good chance at pregnancy. That was the actual, true beginning of the women's sexual liberation movement - that they could make a choice of when to have a baby through birth control and abortions and do not need to rely on men for many months to look after them as they did throughout much of the formative periods of human society. That's why limiting access to those things is a result of a complex power play by men whether they realise it or not.

Sex is mainly a big deal to those not getting any (healthly lovin').

See above: "which I personally"

I get it, I really do. That's fine. Thing is, I'd just like to find a decent guy who is more interested in a relationship than sex per se. I find this problematic when guys say they are all about meeting someone nice and having a stable relationship but then their actions show anything but....

[ggamer]

Ah yes... if you do not know of it, let me pass on the aptly named www.republicansforrape.org

I was about to re-join the convo before I saw that.

Really?

What the fuck is that?

[G-Flex]

The problem is forced arbitration in general.

But yeah, the gist of it is: There have been companies like those who contractually force private arbitration in cases like that (sexual assault, etc.), leaving few legal options to those who have been victimized, and encourages a sort of system where such incidents get swept under the rug.

[ggamer]

well, now I HAVE to stay in the conversation, to give a conservative viewpoint.