Alright Siquo, It's possible you're from The Netherlands , where people are pretty lax about... well damn near everything really and especially in Amsterdam. There are a lot of Dutch here actually, Capt Duck, seems to be of the best of you around here. It's a decent enough country, and as I said lax about nearly everything. This could conceivably explain what happened here to some degree. [Edit: just read Phmcw's post. He's right].
In short, I'll say it again:
The only possible redeeming quality is the possibility that you didn't realize you said it.
You may not have realized the flaming shitstorm into which you stepped, while projecting bravado mistaken for realization and willingness.
Prejudice in the U.S., has despite a national foundation proclaiming that "all men are created equal," been a massive problem and a violent one as a rule. Racism and sexism have a history of being institutionally accepted by the government and society at large.
A while ago I offered 10 points if someone could recognize a sexism reference of threatening to hit a girl and send her to the moon:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UbCv6b96OK0&feature=fvwrel(Check out the later parts of the video. It started out as "POW! Right in the kisser!" Then the moon stuff happened. That's right, this was the improved version!)
Pointed out Nicely by Family Guy:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5b9ONh4FtlI&feature=relatedAnd of course, as a musical complete with Stockholm Syndrome:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lEAOGZwmIhA&feature=relatedIsn't that just great? He's threatening domestic abuse against his wife on national television and everyone laughs and claps. It's his trademark and hey this was the #2 show in the United States
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_honeymooners and the creators, "wanted a realistic portrayal of life."
Keep in mind, this was in the 1950s, when the censors were so powerful you couldn't say the word "pants" on TV, but this was perfectly ok and funny too!Transphobia has been and still is the single worst and least discussed of these, and I have unwanted personal experience with it so it sends up red flags.
The most recent and public example, April 18th, 2011 is a lovely case of 1st and 2nd degree assault in Baltimore, Maryland in a McDonalds restaurant by McDonalds employees. What happened and why was she beaten to and past the point of having a seizure, in a 2 on 1 fight where her earrings got ripped out. She simply tried to use the bathroom:
Warning, this embedded video is very graphic and shows the actual crime being committed:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1379691/Transgender-girl-beaten-seizure-McDonalds-attack-victim-hate-crime.htmlThe breakdown:
The two suspects, ages 18 and 14, allegedly did it because she was "flirting with her man." I don't believe this. She asked to use the bathroom.... Rule 34 guarantees there are guys somewhere who are turned on by that, notwithstanding, this isn't flirting. The Camera Man is a (former) McDonalds employee who at first looks like a bit of a hero for filming this, until you realize that he actually tells the two girls beating the shit out of the victim to run before the cops come.... That's right, he doesn't care about protecting the young woman who got beaten half to death right in front of him, he cares about the people doing the beating.... The victim has actually went with this one, but I think it's just because she is upset that she is now famous as a transwoman and doesn't want to be, especially since she really just wanted to blend in.
Meanwhile, everyone just stands there and watches as this poor transwoman is beaten the shit out of and begs for it to stop. The best part, who at least tries to intervene? An old woman.... That's right, the rest of them sit back and enjoy the show, granny is the only one who thinks this is wrong enough to try to do something about it while the victim begs for it to stop.
This didn't just come out of the blue either. These people didn't just wake up one morning and say, "You know what, I'm going to kick the shit out of any transsexual who tries to use the bathroom." This happens all the time:
http://www.google.com/#sclient=psy&hl=en&source=hp&q=Transsexual+woman+assaulted&aq=&aqi=&aql=&oq=&pbx=1&bav=on.2,or.r_gc.r_pw.&fp=905e9081899b75b1&biw=1024&bih=574This is incredibly recent stuff too!:
http://www.nbcwashington.com/news/local/122528829.html May 24th, 2011
http://sfist.com/2011/04/15/transgender_youth_assaulted_near_16.php April 15th, 2011
(How the hell did this happen in San Francisco of all places?)
http://grand-divisions.blogspot.com/2010/12/transwoman-assaulted-at-kohls.html Dec 2nd, 2010
(How the fuck do the police not really care when someone puts their hand in your mouth and pulls out three of your fucking teeth!)
http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/lanow/2010/10/lapd-seeks-help-in-case-of-assault-on-transgender-woman-in-hollywood.html October 27th, 2010
My God, half of these attacks end in broken jaws and other bones.... And these aren't usually reported in the mainstream media except as side notes.... The best part is police and EMS have a tendency of look down on you once they figure out you're trans.... *sigh*
I really was wondering how the same statement made by two different people is bigotism in one case, and self-deprecating humor in another. The statement or what it says does not change, and neither of the two people is actually a bigot.
To the extent you honestly didn't mean it like that, it's a step in the right direction. Even then, my problem is that it makes it harder to find the people who are doing it to make my life a living hell. These same people, who are the reason I was terrified to go to school as a child, blend in, and whether you realize it or not, when you're joking like this, it makes it easier for them to do so....
Additionally, there's a great big assumption in there, "neither of the two people is actually a bigot."
This isn't always true, and bigots rely on this assumption to hide. Also, self depreciating humor is easy to understand, you've got to be it to make fun of it.... The assumption behind it is that if you are the thing you're making fun of, then you don't have malice as a motive. Unless it makes sense to sincerely hate yourself and everyone else like you (reasonably considered rare if not nonexistent), then the exception for self depreciation is valid.