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[Cerol Lenslens]

Wait, I thought he was raised by Pokemon? You and the Shadow Triad really ARE Pokemon, aren't you?

As amazing as this would be, (A Pokemon plot with a Pokemon as the main antagonist?) with it making the bit with Munna actual foreshadowing, I don't see how it could be the case. I mean, how would a person like Ghetsis be fabricated by N's caretakers: a Darmanitan and a...

...and a Zoroark?!?

Welp. Headcanon adjusted.



Oh, and while I haven't tried one out myself, I'm given to understand that with the correct ability, (i.e. not Cute Charm) Mincinno and his evolution can actually dole out some credible damage. It might be worth using.

[monk12]

I'll give Gen V a lot of credit if that's where the plot is actually going. I don't THINK it is, just because nothing else about the plot has been that subtle thus far, but I'll be super impressed if there is a twist of that caliber coming up.

I haven't done too much research into Mincinno just because I can always take Teddy out of the box or Heinrich out of retirement if I don't find something better. I've had success with Normal types on previous Nuzlockes; STAB from Normal type moves is pretty great, and Minccino seems to be like a Clefairy sort of trick Pokemon since it has Sing.

[flabort]

Awe, how sad, you lost one.

[Neonivek]

-Edit: Meh I don't think anyone will appreciate the joke...-

[Urist Imiknorris]

I haven't done too much research into Mincinno just because I can always take Teddy out of the box or Heinrich out of retirement if I don't find something better. I've had success with Normal types on previous Nuzlockes; STAB from Normal type moves is pretty great, and Minccino seems to be like a Clefairy sort of trick Pokemon since it has Sing.

Does it have Technician?

[birdy51]

I haven't done too much research into Mincinno just because I can always take Teddy out of the box or Heinrich out of retirement if I don't find something better. I've had success with Normal types on previous Nuzlockes; STAB from Normal type moves is pretty great, and Minccino seems to be like a Clefairy sort of trick Pokemon since it has Sing.

Does it have Technician?

This... Miccino can actually be a good Pokémon depending on what it has.

[monk12]

Upon further review, Jerry the Minccino possesses the Cute Charm ability. Wah waaaaaaah. Jerry is also a female Minccino, nicely continuing the trend of inappropriately gendered names.

[Tawa]

Good luck to you, good sir. Best wishes to Simon and his type advantage too.

That gives me an idea, are there any non-legendary Fire/Ice types? That would be awesome to have a competitively viable Pokémon that's part fire and part ice.

Then again, that would also cause infinite Game of Thrones references, but meh.

[flabort]

That gives me an idea, are there any non-legendary Fire/Ice types? That would be awesome to have a competitively viable Pokémon that's part fire and part ice.

No, no legendary fire/ice types either.
The closest you appear to be able to get is Frost Rotom; Ice/Electric.

If there were a fire/ice pokemon, it would be weak to Water, Fighting, Ground, and especially rock. It would be resistant to Grass, bug, fairy, and especially ice.

[Urist Imiknorris]

I think the closest you'd get is one of those newfangled gen 6 legendaries that wasn't in X/Y. I forget its name but it was fire/water.

[Tawa]

I think the closest you'd get is one of those newfangled gen 6 legendaries that wasn't in X/Y. I forget its name but it was fire/water.

It was another something uncreative involving "volca".

[Neonivek]

I think the closest you'd get is one of those newfangled gen 6 legendaries that wasn't in X/Y. I forget its name but it was fire/water.

It was another something uncreative involving "volca".

Volcanon

It is a decent Special attacker with a lot of burn opportunity.

But Volcanon is an event pokemon. I kind of wish Pokémon was more forgoing with their event pokemon... but whatever.

[Furtuka]

Volcanion*

[Tawa]

That gives me an idea, are there any non-legendary Fire/Ice types? That would be awesome to have a competitively viable Pokémon that's part fire and part ice.

No, no legendary fire/ice types either.
The closest you appear to be able to get is Frost Rotom; Ice/Electric.

If there were a fire/ice pokemon, it would be weak to Water, Fighting, Ground, and especially rock. It would be resistant to Grass, bug, fairy, and especially ice.

Wait what oh yeah forgot that

Spoiler: DON'T READ THIS AAA (click to show/hide)

White Kyurem

was dragon/ice.

[monk12]

PART XXXIV: Drayden

As is tradition for Gym battles, tonight's update comes with musical accompaniment. Tonight, the song is All Systems Go by Krypteria. Now, on to the update!

I hope this sign is accurate

	Alright, Route 9! Last chance to find a decent replacement for Lumiere! Ooh, look at all that LOOT just lying in the grass!
	*Wild Foongus appeared!*
	...Mew's Whiskers but I'm stupid.

The same reason Mimics look like treasure chests, obviously

	Well, at least Grass/Poison isn't a type my main party already covers. You can pal around for a while, Toad.
	[I stand ready to do my best! NO FOE SHALL IMPEDE OUR VALOROUS QUEST!]
	...Your sanity may be in another castle. Well, I probably didn't pass up anything too great on this route.
	*Wild Bouffalant Appeared!*
	Is that a Tauros with an afro?
	*Head Charge*
	[AUGH! MY BOINGLOINGS!]
	Holy crap! Get out there, Urkel!
	[Hey guys, what's-]
	*Head Charge*
	[HEY! Easy on the threads!] *Hi Jump Kick*
	*KO*
	...okay, with Urkel in front, and a Lemonade after every fight, we should be okay to move through the grass here.
	[That's a lot of Lemonade; can't we train somewhere safer?]
	Shut up and drink, Urkel, there's LOOTZ over there!

There are indeed lootz on the other side of some pretty hairy dark grass (double battles with Bouffalant and Amoongus, ho!) but they aren't particularly exciting. Mostly I walked over there for the trainers who are also not particularly exciting, but who are worth enough EXP for me to feel confident in returning to Opelucid City to challenge Drayden.

Speaking of Opelucid City, it's not particularly exciting (are you detecting a theme?) The NPCs are all in the grip of existential angst as a result of the speech Ghetsis made, and the only point of interest is a house where you can enjoy some Rotation Battle shenanigans. Yes, I said house, and it looks the same as Drayden's house, which is to say it looks exactly like every other building in this City, inside and out.

Well, every other building except for one.

Zany architecture? Giant mechanical whatzits?
Yep, definitely a Gen V Gym

	I already hate this place and all who dwell within it.
	The Dragon Gym in Opelucid City is where tough Trainers show they can carve out their own path!*
	Really? Because it rather looks like I'm going to be following a rotating, predefined path again.
	[Hey, it's worked out in our favor so far. Why change what ain't broken?]
	As the name suggests, a Gym Leader is the top of a Gym! The Leader is top of the heap at this Opelucid Gym! If you want to meet the Leader, climb up on the dragons' backs and aim for the top floor!*
	I've already been in a roller-coaster Gym; a Chuck-E-Cheese animatronic snake isn't going to confuse me.
	I will tell a Trainer who beats me how to move forward in this Gym!*
	Considering I'm already on the dragon, I've gotta be halfway there already.
	[By Frost, I love this Gym!]
	Jump from a triangle mark! When you land on a switch on an arm, the dragon's head will move, and you can move ahead!*
	Mew's whiskers, this is exactly the same as Brycen's Gym, just with a Dragon motif! It's not much of a puzzle if there's only one possible button to jump on! Fine, whatever; jump on button, dragon head moves, walk to the next bit, battle a trainer...
	Do you understand how the Dragons' heads move?*
	...walk past the trainer while Simon deals with it...
	[Makin' your way in the world today takes everything you've got!]
	The dragon's arms go up and down... And depending on the arms, the dragons' heads turn right and left and move up and down, too. Listen! Here is a hint! If both arms point down, the dragon's head sinks down, too.*
	...ignore their advice because there's still only one button to go to, jump on it, dragon head moves, so on and so forth. Who knew a Gym full of Dragons could be so boring?
	Thanks for coming!
	Ah, a Veteran. I'm glad it's not just a pretentious bunch of Ace Trainers in here.
	I happily welcome you! But... I may be a little rough on you!*
	Well, you can try, but if you use Dragons then Simon is going to be rougher on you.
	[Takin' a break from all your worries sure would help a lot!]
	Advancing or retreating is up to you. But if you proceed, prepare yourself! Moving forward halfheartedly is disrespectful to your Pokemon!*
	That's actually pretty wise, Veteran Whozits. But as long as I have Simon, everything in this Gym is going down in one hit anyway.
	I will test you to see how well you really know Pokemon!*
	I know that Ice beats Dragon, what more do I need?
	[Wouldn't it be nice to get away?] *Icicle Crash*
	[Ice beats Dragon, but I have high Defense. Fighting beats Ice; how's your D?] *Revenge*
	*OHKO*
	...what? No! NOOOOOOOOOO! Simon Dragonslayer, how could you lose to a freaking Digimon? Aaah, this Gym just got much tougher... okay, he's got 1 HP- go snag some EXP, Mothra.
	[Cleanup, Aisle Three!] *Flame Charge*
	Okay, time to rethink this Gym.
	Hey, you and I aren't done yet! Go, Fraxure!
	[Attention Opelucid Gym Shoppers, today we have a special on humiliating death, for a limited time only!]
	Oh. Well, I guess I'll start by finding out whether Dragon resists Bug, since Flame Charge did practically nothing.
	*Bug Bite* [Bleh, you taste like dirt.]
	[Ow! Die, you annoying mosquito!] *Dragon Claw*
	*OHKO*
	FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-
	[I will avenge my fallen comrades while you grieve, human.]
	-UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKING BULLSHIT!
	You are bringing out your Pokemon's full potential!*
	Oh, eat a dick, Ace Trainer. How do I get out of here? I need to attend to some funerals.
	Well, you can't, really; not until the end. You've changed the path of the previous dragon, and there isn't a one-way road out of here until just before Drayden.
	So this is exactly like Brycen's Gym. My liver boils with hate... come on, I can't even Escape Rope out of here? Fine, whatever, the rest of my party has full HP and PP.
	I wonder what you will do as a Trainer?!*
	That's a really good question. I think the answer is-
	[ATTAAAAAAACK!]
	Well, I was going to say that Gustave's Moxie makes him a pretty good sweeper, but I suppose the demonstration works just as well.
	We have ten years' experience battling! I give you a taste of a Veteran's skill!*
	This Gym feels like it's going on forever. Well, at least it's giving me the opportunity to fine tune my new strategy.
	[GUSTAVE WILL BREAK THESE PUNY DRAGONS!]
	Getting stronger... is like walking down a road that never ends, no matter how much you fight...*
	So it's rather like a death march, then.
	It's what this Dragon Gym is about. It's the secret of the dragons' backs...*
	The "secret of the dragons' backs" boils down to "JUMP ON DA BUTTON DUR DUR." Mew preserve us, are we there yet?

Oh. Yes we are.

	Welcome. Thank you for coming. I am Opelucid Pokemon Gym's Leader, Drayden.*
	And I am Sir Monk of Nuvema Town. I am the bearer of the Trio Badge, the Basic Badge, the Insect Badge, the Bolt Badge, the Quake Badge, the Jet Badge, and the Freeze Badge; with these badges in my possession, I claim my right to challenge you for the Legend Badge, Mayor Drayden, and the right to face the Pokemon League, defeat the Champion, and oh yeah, save Unova.
	Hello Pokemon fans, and welcome to a special presentation of Unovan Idol! Today, young Monk seeks to claim his eighth and final Gym Badge from Drayden, Mayor of Opelucid City and master of the Dragon Type! In light of Team Plasma's recent announcement that they have captured the legendary Dragon Type Pokemon, this match has some added intrigue as we will see whether Monk can overcome the power of the Dragon Type! His Ice Type Beartic and Fire/Bug Mothra fell earlier in the Gym, so now he challenges Drayden with nothing but a Krookdile, a Scrafty, a Foongus, and of course his starter Pokemon, Samurott. The action begins right after these commercial messages!
	You seem scornful of my title, Sir Monk.
	You aren't even a nobleman, Drayden. There's no way you can compete with my pedigree, let alone my skill. You have three ready-to-fight Pokemon, and so do I. When was the last time anyone was intimidated by a mayor?
	As the mayor, I've given everything to developing the city. As a Trainer, I've simply been pursuing greater strength. But what I'm searching for now is a young Trainer who can show me a bright future. Perhaps you can show me that future, the way Iris has?*
	Iris hasn't done anything that I know of, other than molest Bianca. If you think her future is bright, I'm going to stand you up in front of a supernova! Show'm, Gustave!
	[Who thinks they can stand against the might of GUSTAVE?]
	[What fool thinks they can hold out against the primordial majesty of the Dragons?] *Dragon Dance* *Dragon Dance*
	Fraxure has sent its Attack and Speed skyrocketing! It's a tactic that Monk has been vulnerable to in past Gym matchups.
	Please, this hasn't been an issue since my first Gym. I'm barely the same person I was then.
	*Dig*
	Hyper Potion, Fraxure!
	[I'm sorry, did you just raise your Attack dangerously high?] *Foul Play*
	*KO*
	[OH YEAH!]
	Gustave's Moxie raises his attack every time he faints an enemy Pokemon; Monk is gambling on creating a killing machine!
	It's your turn, Druddigon!
	[OH NO IT'S NOT!] *Dig* [...Ow! That stings!]
	[That's my Rough Skin, mortal. It is the last thing you'll feel.] *Revenge*
	*OHKO*
	FRIGGIN' HELL, NOT AGAIN! I hate Druddigon... fine, I need someone with Defense. It's up to you, Marvin!
	[I can't believe you need my sword for this commoner filth.] *Razor Shell*
	[You think your blades are stronger than my defense?] *Chip Away*
	[It seems they will beat you down before your weak techniques overcome me.] *Razor Shell*
	[Heh. Gotcha.] *Revenge*
	*KO*
	no.  nononoNoNONONOOOOO! Not Marvin! We... we were supposed to be best friends forever... this is the end.
	Now is the moment of truth! This really gets my blood pumping!*
	FUCK YOU, DRAYDEN! I swear to Mew, if I fall here I'm taking you down with me! No mercy, Urkel!
	[You got it boss, but if you don't mind my sayin', his last mon better not have Revenge; I'm weak to that shit, too.] *Brick Break*
	[I may have no future, but neither do you. Heh.] *KO*
	Our last two Pokemon, as it should be!
	[Such discourtesy! What about me?]
	What about you?
	Behold! Haxorus!
	[The most glorious Dragon is I!]
	...well, THAT looks like trouble.
	[Hey, you gotta respect dis.] *Hi Jump Kick*
	Woah! Where was this high-powered assault from Monk earlier?
	Sweet Mew, we might actually walk out of here alive! Assuming Urkel doesn't get Revenged here...
	[I must prepare myself for this most important battle!] *Dragon Dance* *Dragon Dance*
	[Dis look like a dance floor to youse? If you ain't gonna fight, get out of the arena.] *Crunch*
	*KO*
	And it's over! Monk has once again emerged victorious, scraping past Drayden with the singleminded ferocity we've come to expect from him! With this Badge, Monk has earned the right to challenge the Pokemon League's Elite Four and take his shot at the Championship! Tune in next time, Pokemon fans!
	...everyone is dead. Gustave, Mothra, Simon, Marvin...
	This intense feeling that floods me after a defeat... I don't know how to describe it. Wonderful.*
	Wonderful? Wonderful? Do you even REALIZE what you've done? My Pokemon are DEAD! You wanted to test my strength, to see if I was worthy of saving Unova, and then you gutted my team! Urkel is my oldest friend now, and I had an entire team's worth of companions before I even met him!
	And what happened to those early Pokemon? They died. And you rebuilt. You've shown your strength time and again; not the strength of your Pokemon, but your strength. Your team keeps changing, but you've always picked up the pieces and gone on to win against the toughest opponents. Just as you'll do against N.
	Drayden, shut up. Back then, I had my best Pokemon ahead of me, routes and caves and forests I'd never explored! Now I've got what, Victory Road before I take on the Elite Four? What am I going to build this team out of, Boxed Rejects? I've got a Watchog with Pokerus in there, do you think HE'S going to take on the the toughest trainers in the world?!? I assume the Elite Four will all use a full team, even if none of the Gym Leaders did! What am I going to do?
	Head for the Pokemon League and go after Alder. The Pokemon League is past Route 10, which runs from Opelucid City to Victory Road. I know Alder's strength, but I don't know the depths of N's power...*
	Just... give me the Badge so I can go.

Oh hey, it even looks like the spiky death dagger in my heart

	I can't... what do I even have in my box.
	...Hello! Was Drayden as tough as ever?*
	Fuck off and die, Professor. Why would you even ask me that question?
	Oh, I came to report on how to resurrect the legendary Reshiram. I thought it would be better to tell you in person than over the Xtransceiver.*
	Reshiram... I wasn't going to give in to that temptation, but I guess I have a hole or two in my team now...
	And as for the conclusion... Well, I haven't figured it out yet.*
	Well thanks for coming down and telling me that in fucking person, Professor Juniper! Just jump up and down on my last embers of hope, why don't you! Any more happy news to share? Somebody hack my PC and leave me with nothing but Magikarps, maybe?
	I'm sure the Pokemon will wake up when it deems someone worthy. More importantly, aren't you amazing! You have all eight of Unova's Gym Badges now, right?*
	Yeah, not that they do me much good. I didn't start this journey so I could ALMOST make it to Pokemon League.
	You've become so strong! You probably don't even know it, but you've changed a lot since you left Nuvema Town.*
	Yeah... I don't even care about becoming King anymore, not really. I just want the Pokemon League to do something instead of cowering in fear of N. If I could just stop all this Legendary Dragon nonsense, I'd be happy.
	Monk? Do you regret setting out on your Pokemon journey?*
	...no. No. Even now, at the bitter end, I don't regret starting in the first place. If I'd never left, I'd have never realized that that Oshawott was worth getting to know. Even if I crash here, it's been a hell of a ride.
	Thanks! That's the greatest answer you could give! I was really happy to give you three those Pokemon as a present! Because Pokemon create chances to meet more wonderful people and Pokemon! Monk, this is a present for you!*
	Bitch is that a Master Ball?!?
	This Master Ball is the most powerful kind of Pokeball. It can catch any Pokemon without fail. This is the only way I can support you, except to say... be true to yourself. No matter what happens, stay strong and keep going with your Pokemon!*
	You know what, Professor Juniper? You're right. I've got to see this thing through. I've got some mons in the Box, and I can probably get something decent on Victory Road. Maybe I won't be able to be Champion, but I'm already a damn fine Pokemon Trainer. It's time to do what I do best.
	Whine incessantly?
	Grind. Right after a trip to Celestial Tower.

Outro music courtesy of Area 11

NEXT TIME: To The Bitter End
Suggestions, Comments, Criticism welcome as always.

Spoiler: Routes Visited (click to show/hide)

Nuvema Town- "Marvin", Oshawott, 5-45
Route 1- XXX
Accumula Town- ??
Route 2- "Pompey", Lillipup 6-12
Striaton City- ??
Dreamyard- "Mojo Jojo", Pansear 10-12
Route 3- "Timon", Patrat  8-15
Wellspring Cave- "Cletus", Woobat 11-14
Nacrene City- ??
Pinwheel Forest- "Heinrich", Pidove 12-30
Castelia City- ??
Route 4- "Urkel", Scraggy
Desert Resort- "Gustave", Sandile, 19-44
Nimbasa City- ??
Route 5- "Miho", Gothita 19-25
Route 16- "Oscar", Trubbish 19-27
Relic Castle- "Teddy", Yamask
Lostlorn Forest- "Himmler", Tranquill
Driftveil Drawbridge- "Dewey", Ducklett
Driftveil City- XXX
Cold Storage- "Pompey II", Herdier
Route 6- "Bambina", Deerling, 22-22
Mistralton Cave- ??
Chargestone Cave- XXX
Route 7- "Charlie", Watchog
Celestial Tower- "Lumiere", Litwick, 26-42
Twist Mountain- "Simon", Cubchoo, 28-47
Route 17- "Ishmael", Frillish
Route 18- "Mothra", Larvesta, 1-43
Route 8- XXX
Icirrus Moor- XXX
Dragonspiral Tower- "Nemo", Basculin
Tubeline Bridge- ??
Route 9- "Toad", Foongus
Opelucid City- ??
Route 10- ??