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[Furtuka]

:3 heheheheheheh


Still a pity you weren't able to get a Golett or something

[Tawa]

This is epic. PTW.

[ivanthe8th]

Part 1: June 2011

Part 31: June 2014

I knew you'd be back.

[monk12]

I'm trying very hard to finish before we hit another anniversary

[Tawa]

That's a year, you're good for a year.

[Thexor]

IT'S ALIIIIIIIIIVE!

*ahem* Glad to see another few updates!

[monk12]

PART XXXII: Relic Castle Redux

My "Daycare for Spartans" hypothesis wasn't sufficiently evil enough

	[What are we doing here? Our glorious quest to save Unova leads to Relic Castle, not this gathering place of prepubescent sociopaths!]
	This is your new home, Himmler.
	[What!?! Outragous!]
	Hey, hey, calm down. Don't look at me like that; we've already discussed your status as Route 1 vendor trash.
	[How DARE you! I am, quite literally, a superior warrior!]
	I'm not saying you didn't do a good job; you were a perfectly acceptable replacement for Heinrich. I just don't want you to meet the same fate as he did, which you surely will if I take you with me to fight an ancient lightning dragon of death.
	[And who is going to take my place in the party, then?]
	[All aboard the Friend Ship!]
	It turns out Simon will evolve into a pretty powerful bear, and when Mothra grows some wings I can use him for my Flying needs. You've earned an honorable discharge, Himmler; enjoy your retirement with whatever sexy bitches you can find in your Egg Group.
	[Well, I HAVE been meaning to start a Heinrich Youth movement... very well. I shall wait here in reserve! If ever you need my assistance, do not hesitate to call me back to the action!]
	That's the spirit, you psychotic little bird you! Play nice with the other Pokemon!
	[Jawohl!]

Actually, maaaaybe I should have kept him until AFTER Relic Castle

	*pant* Mew preserve me, but I'll never understand what sadist decided to call this place a resort.
	Stop, Monk! That's the entrance to the Relic Castle.*
	Yes, and it's refreshingly free of abrasive wind-driven sand. Get out of the way!
	You're impressive, Monk, making it here before I did. Dealing with the Desert Resort's Pokemon took longer than I would've thought.*
	You can't be serious. Even assuming your Pokemon aren't 20 levels higher than the dust-grubbers here, even assuming you don't have a single Repel in your pack, you can just walk around the sandholes where the Pokemon live! What were you really doing?
	I only made it all the way out here thanks to my Pokemon. Alder went on ahead.*
	Hm. You're saying you're late because Alder ditched you in the wilderness while surrounded by hostile wild Pokemon? Well, that meshes with everything I know about Alder, so your story checks out. Let's get inside.
	Stop right there!
	Who the hell is this nondescript bum?
	That's Ryoku, one of the Seven Sages!
	The more of them I meet, the less personality they have. At least Zinzolin had a "fat cold coward" thing going on.
	Ghetsis told us that once again we should test how much power you have. We will see if you can defeat Team Plasma!*
	Right then! Bring it on!
	Who, me? No, no, I don't fight. That's what the grunts are for.
	Look, I don't care about the grunts; I'm going to beat the snot out of you and send you to prison!
	Uh, Monk, if Team Plasma is in the ruins of Relic Castle, that means they're going for the Light Stone...
	So we don't have time to kill this guy, yeah, fine, I learned that lesson at Dragonspiral Tower. Okay, where's this Plasma Grunt Gauntlet at?
	Hurry and fall through the flowing sands!*
	Okay, not to sound distrustful and petty, but I don't think you have my best interests in mind when you say "Jump into that pool of quicksand." How stupid do you think I am?
	Actually, I've read some interesting studies on Relic Castle in my spare time, and Ryoku is right; the sinkhole is the fastest way to get to the bottom of Relic Castle.
	...I am going to regret this, aren't I?

I mean, there's a staircase RIGHT there!

	Bleh. I've got sand in my hair. And my shoes. And my underpants.
	You! To please my Pokemon, lose!*
	Oh certainly, here, just let me-MARVIN!
	[FURIOUS CONCH SHELL TECHNIQUE!]
	Because of you, my Pokemon lost! Don't you feel sorry for them?*
	I feel sorry that they have to fight for such a weak Trainer, yes.
	You are just depending on your Pokemon for strength.*
	Gee, it's almost as if that's the entire job of a Trainer. Idiot.
	Pokemon are too good for the likes of you! They are amazing, but putting them in the hands of foolish Trainers can bring nothing good!*
	[Not true, princess! It can bring a good beatdown!]
	Me, lose? Here I am, covered in sand, throwing everything I have into it, and I lose? Am I that much of a loser? It should be your loss. And that's an order!*
	You know, considering how much of a loser you are, you'd think you'd be better at it. You lose, you don't get to give orders. It's really quite simple.
	If everyone frees their Pokemon, there is no winning or losing!*
	I... you're saying that people are too awful to use Pokemon, but also, if we didn't have Pokemon we wouldn't fight each other? Which is it? You can't have it both ways!
	If I don't have Pokemon, I won't lose like this! How dare you interrupt us without understanding us?*
	Oh, you might not lose like this, but I expect you'd still be a loser.
	We fight for the young king... That's it!*
	Ah, well I can understand that. Maybe when I overthrow Alder you'll be convinced to fight for me when I'm the king.
	[Vive le roi! Vive le roi!]
	Everything changes. Unova will also be born again. Why don't you admit that?*
	The same reason you don't admit that I'll never lose to a grunt; sheer bloody-mindedness, I suppose. I'm gonna jump down this sinkhole now, cheerio.

As sinkholes go, this one is pretty nice

	So this must be the "Castle" bit of Relic Castle.
	Whew! I finally caught up.*
	Oh good, that must mean it's time for a cutscene.
	You two. Come here... Come to my side.*
	...I need an adult.
	Monk! Alder is up against Ghetsis!
	Oooh, special guest Hugo Weaving!
	It looks like everyone is here. It seems you are working hard to resurrect Reshiram, the other Dragon-type Pokemon, aren't you? But it appears the Light Stone you seek is not here. Well then, congratulations are in order!*
	Wow, and I thought Alder was a dick.
	Monk, you were chosen by our king. If you truly desire to keep the world as it is, where Pokemon live alongside people, you must bring the other Dragon-type Pokemon spoken of in legend and battle with our king. Otherwise, Team Plasma will steal every Pokemon from every person in the world and release them all!*
	Too bad you don't have an evil mustache to twirl.
	Release them, you say? Do the Pokemon who live with their Trainers actually want that? Is the liberation you talk about really just stealing Pokemon from people?*
	What's this? Champion Alder, even though illness took the Pokemon that had been your partner for many years, and you haven't had a serious battle in all that time...*
	Aw, come on, don't make him sympathetic. I've been working really hard to hate this guy.
	Even you, who ordered the Elite Four to protect the Pokemon League and left to wander the Unova region alone...*
	You're never alone when you're accompanied by the threat of imminent violence!
	Monk, shut up and let him monologue. I've got sand in my eye and I really want to leave and get some eyedrops.
	Even a Champion like you now wants to protect a world where Pokemon and people live together? Team Plasma's king will show the people of Unova that he is stronger than a Champion who keeps Pokemon bound! And just like the hero who founded Unova, he will be accompanied by the legendary Pokemon. He will give this order! "Trainers, release your Pokemon!" For this, we have prepared a suitable castle for the legendary Zekrom and our king!*
	You guys have just been waiting for an excuse to build a castle, haven't you? You really DO want to drag us all back into the Middle Ages. Well, I for one won't let your insane Renaissance Fair conquer Unova!
	I won't lose! I'll fight for all Trainers who love their Pokemon, and for all Pokemon who believe in their Trainers!*
	...there's a hidden camera in here somewhere, isn't there?
	easy there he doesn't see you keep the camera steady you're not even there just think like sand and flow like sand and film like sand
	Our king has no interest in you. He has already determined that victory against you is assured.*
	Ha! Looks like Alder needs a BURN heal! Good one, Ghetsis!
	So you stayed behind just to tell me that? Just to make a fool of me?*
	Alder, quit fooling around and fight him. He's charismatic, and he knows there's a camera in here somewhere. You're not going to win a debate with him.
	Of course not. I'm doing this out of kindness. Yes, kindness. I'm making sure the Champion doesn't get hurt for no reason. Granted the moment when someone loses all hope... I really do love to watch that moment. Well then, farewell.*
	You know, as much as this Ghetsis guy is growing on me, you should really arrest him, Alder.
	Alder... What are you going to do now?*
	Hmmm... It seems my only choice is to return to the Pokemon League and battle N. But it bothers me to do exactly what Ghetsis wants...*
	Hey, you're the one who tried to belittle Ghetsis on national TV and wound up looking like a pathetic weakling. If you don't fight N now, nobody will support you as Champion.
	More importantly, what should we do about the Light Stone?*
	Alder... Why don't we go outside for now?* My eye is killing me.
	Yes... that's a good idea. It's hard to breathe in here!*

I KNEW there was a staircase!

	It's hard to put into words... but I'll never forgive them for this!*
	Forgive them for what? Making Alder look like an idiot? It's not like they found the Light Stone.
	What could that guy called N possibly want? Could he be trying to prove he is right by winning the battle of the two dragons?*
	Battle of the Two Dragons: Coming soon to a theater near you!
	Monk! Monk!! Hello? Monk!!*
	Monk, your butt is yelling at you.
	Oh hey, the Cross-Magigger X. Hello?
	Oh! You picked up! Hey, Monk. Come to the museum in Nacrene City immediately! Right away, got it? I mean right now!*
	I could hear Professor Juniper's voice from clear over here! Seems like something big is happening. I wonder what is waiting at the museum in Nacrene City.*
	Well, I'm guessing that Team Plasma totally could have gotten the Light Stone way back in Part XI but they got distracted by the giant dragon skeleton.
	I'll look around here once more. I don't want to believe what that Ghetsis says... You should head for the Nacrene City Museum.*
	Of course the game wants me to backtrack as soon as I deposited my flyer. TO THE MUSEUM!

In Plasma's defense, there is more precedent for resurrecting fossils than there is for resurrecting random rocks

	Alder told me what's going on. Monk, you got caught up in something serious, it seems...*
	Imagine that, attempting to become the new Champion of Unova got me involved in matters of national security.
	Is this it?*
	Whoa. Isn't that the... stone... found in Desert Resort?*
	Yes, that's right, but is this really a Dragon-type Pokemon?*
	No, that's a rock. It might BECOME a Dragon-type Pokemon, though.
	Surely... When I investigated Dragonspiral Tower, I found elements that were dated to the same era as this Light Stone!*
	...I looked into that.*
	Impressive, as always.*
	But, you know, we're lucky... 'Cause what if Team Plasma, like, noticed that old stone that time...*
	We're not that lucky; they're idiots, and they sent Grunts to do an archaeologist's job.
	That's a good point. It's clear to me that they were trying to steal the Dragon Skull so they could revive the legendary Dragon-type Pokemon. If you would, Monk, take this...*
	Wait a moment, Monk! If you take this Light Stone, that means you'll be the one to battle N if anything happens to me. Are you really OK with that?*
	Hell yes I'm okay with that! I'm gonna kick N's skinny white ass three ways to Sunday, Dragon or no Dragon.
	I understand. You are determined to take on this duty. Then, here it is. Prepare yourself. Be strong.*
	Well, I'm screwed if I need to wake up this thing at Dragonspiral Tower, but hopefully it does its juju someplace I haven't caught a Pokemon yet. Keep everything nice and legal. Though when you get right down to it, I can probably kick N's ass with the team I have, once we've trained a bit more.
	...I see. If things don't go as planned, you'll use this Light Stone. You'll protect the true future for us and Pokemon. Monk, we're counting on you. Please take care of yourself.*
	...So how do we wake the Dragon-type Pokemon from the stone, then?*
	Er... well it doesn't exactly have an on/off switch, does it? I guess we need to fiddle around with Dragonspiral Tower a bit? Hm...
	That's it! We've got them, don't we?*
	Ah-hah. We've got those two. Monk! Go to Opelucid City. The Gym Leader of that city uses Dragon-type Pokemon. The Gym Leader could know something. I'll go ahead and wait for you there! Until then!*
	That's right! Opelucid City's Drayden might know something!*
	Hey, Monk. Never forget that you always have Pokemon right by your side.*
	I'm going to head back to the lab and do some research... I'll see if I can uncover what kinds of beings these legendary Dragon-type Pokemon are and if there is any way to awaken them...*
	Don't worry! If we have something for you, we'll come running to find you!*
	Ooh. Sounds real serious... Um, that's about all I got out of it.*
	Let me summarize for you, Bianca! I'm gonna roll on up to Opelucid City, kick the Gym Leader's ass, and then pump him for information on the Dragons! Even Lenora and Alder are realizing that I'm the only one who stands a chance against N. I'm gonna be running this show before the week is out, just you watch!

NEXT TIME: Dragon Tales
Suggestions, Comments, Criticism welcome as always.

Spoiler: Routes Visited (click to show/hide)

Nuvema Town- "Marvin", Oshawott
Route 1- XXX
Accumula Town- ??
Route 2- "Pompey", Lillipup 6-12
Striaton City- ??
Dreamyard- "Mojo Jojo", Pansear 10-12
Route 3- "Timon", Patrat  8-15
Wellspring Cave- "Cletus", Woobat 11-14
Nacrene City- ??
Pinwheel Forest- "Heinrich", Pidove 12-30
Castelia City- ??
Route 4- "Urkel", Scraggy
Desert Resort- "Gustave", Sandile
Nimbasa City- ??
Route 5- "Miho", Gothita 19-25
Route 16- "Oscar", Trubbish 19-27
Relic Castle- "Teddy", Yamask
Lostlorn Forest- "Himmler", Tranquill
Driftveil Drawbridge- "Dewey", Ducklett
Driftveil City- XXX
Cold Storage- "Pompey II", Herdier
Route 6- "Bambina", Deerling, 22-22
Chargestone Cave- XXX
Route 7- "Charlie", Watchog
Celestial Tower- "Lumiere", Litwick
Twist Mountain- "Simon", Cubchoo
Route 17- "Ishmael", Frillish
Route 18- "Mothra", Larvesta
Route 8- XXX
Icirrus Moor- XXX
Dragonspiral Tower- "Nemo", Basculin

[Remalle]

Fantastic as always, Monk.

[USEC_OFFICER]

I dunno how anybody can criticize your updates, Monk. They're always so awesome if when they finally arrive!

[Tawa]

Looks like you're around the end of the game next update. From what I can tell, you have 3 or 4 more.

Keep it up!

[Thexor]

Just out of curiosity... what level has our little moth-in-training made it up to? I don't want to say when he evolves, but I would like to know how far away it is. I really kinda like his evolved form!

[monk12]

The party as a whole is in the low-mid 40s; I think Mothra specifically is like 43 or 44. Simon the Cubchoo is the lowest at 39, and has been receiving the bulk of the training.

[Furtuka]

Hmm he might make it in time for the Elite 4, but it'll take quite a bit of extra training methinks.

[birdy51]

Indeed. Mothra is an investment. A worthy one mind you.

[monk12]

PART XXXIII: Dragon Tales

Whoever designed the routes for this game really liked bridges

	Monk!*
	Bianca? What are you doing here?
	As I've been traveling lately, I've been thinking about things. Things like what I can do with my life, and what I want to do, but...*
	Thinking hurts, I know. It gets easier the more you do it, trust me.
	I'm thinking how cool it would be to be a model like Elesa.*
	Ha! Like you could ever be a model.
	And what's that supposed to mean, Mr. "I Like Getting Kicked in the Crotch?"
	I, uh, what I meant was that you could never be satisfied with being a model since you, uh, really like helping people and solving problems? Oh sweet Mew there's no good way out of this conversation
	How cool it would be to do research on Pokemon like Professor Juniper...*
	There you go! There's never a lack of demand for research monkeys!
	If that's what I want to do, I'm gonna have to know a lot about Pokemon. Sooooo... would you please battle me?*
	Oh, is that where this conversation is going? Sweet! I never turn away free EXP.
	Go, Stoutland!
	[Och, it's time to avenge your slander of Bianca!]
	Unova: Land of Magnificent Mustaches. Light him up, Lumiere!
	[Vraiment? Dans cette pluie?] *Fire Blast* *Fire Blast*
	Well that did way less damage than I had expected. It must be the rain.
	*Work Up* *Crunch*
	*OHKO*
	NO! Mew's whiskers but this is some kind of bullshit!
	What, you thought my Normal type would be useless against your Ghost? We're pretty late in the game for that kind of hard counter.
	Shut up! Alright, no more playing around; take him out, Urkel!
	[You want a hard counter, eh?] *Brick Break*
	*KO*
	You can do it, Emboar!
	[ĦAi ai ai!]
	Your Pokemon are actually pretty close to my level; I need to have a grind session. Marvin!
	[An old enemy, but a new battle. The battles never end.] *Surf*
	*OHKO*
	Simisage, now's your chance! Get his Samurott!
	Oh hell no it's not; enjoy another levelup, Mothra!
	[Oh, this doesn't look good.] *Seed Bomb*
	[I wouldn't say that, Fonzarelli; it looks pretty good for me!] *Flame Charge* *Bug Bite*
	*KO*
	Every time I watch my Pokemon battle, it ends like this.*
	Gee, I wonder why that is. Let's get this over with, it looks like I've got a funeral to attend.
	[Come on guys, stop talking about me like I'm dead!]
	[Bug beats Psychic. Game over.] *Bug Bite* *Bug Bite*
	*KO*
	Monk! You're amazing! I'm really, really impressed, and that makes me want to give this to you!*
	A Full Restore. Great. Well, if I had to lose a Pokemon to you, Lumiere is the most expendable now that I have Mothra. I don't know who I'll replace him with, though...
	In Castelia City, my precious Pokemon was stolen by Team Plasma. So I really, really understand!*
	Except I was able to beat up Team Plasma to get your Munna back! Who am I going to beat up now, the grim hand of Death itself?
	If Team Plasma forces everyone to liberate their Pokemon, there will be nothing but sad people! Monk! Stop Team Plasma! Don't allow Pokemon to be stolen from Trainers who love them! I think that's the truth- or ideal- that you've been pursuing, Monk...*
	I... not really? You haven't actually watched any of my matches against the Gym Leaders, have you?
	Oh dear, here I've come all this way, and I'm afraid I'm bothering you when you're going through so much. All I wanted was to help you relax, Monk.*
	Well, at least you gave me a wake-up call. If I can't beat you without losing a Pokemon, I need to train hard before stepping into the Dragon gym.
	Knowing you, you'll be fine! Definitely! You'll totally be fine! I guarantee it!*
	Another great pep talk, Bianca.
	Anyway, you know what I mean... Yeah... So, bye-bye!*
	Yeesh. Okay, training time; let's see how many bundles of EXP are hanging out on this bridge!

Surprisingly few

Tubeline Bridge is pretty boring; a random pedestrian informs me that Trainers hang out here on a specific day of the week, but right now there's nothing to look at other than the trains rumbling through down below. I'm not sure where these trains are coming from, considering there wasn't any train tracks to be seen on the previous Route, but I have more urgent things to worry about.

	Hey, is that Ghetsis over there? I think it is.
	...Come.*
	Special Guest Hugo Weaving is literally only five steps away. The escort is unnecessary.
	...Ghetsis. We brought the one you wanted.*
	Excellent. It seems that you have obtained the Light Stone. I congratulate you on a job well done.*
	I did basically nothing to get this. The eggheads found it in the museum.
	It is my lord N's thought that the two holders of the legendary Pokemon should put their beliefs on the line and strive to find which is the true hero. This is not necessary, however.*
	Damn straight it's not necessary- I'll kick his ass with or without a fancy pants legendary Dragon!
	From his infancy, I provided him with the education required to become the hero of legend.*
	Wait, I thought he was raised by Pokemon? You and the Shadow Triad really ARE Pokemon, aren't you?
	Indeed, he has been so acknowledged by the legendary Pokemon. ...Such purity of purpose is his.*
	I bet if I chuck this Ultra Ball at you I can cut the plot waaaay short.
	The liberation of Pokemon of which I... Of which Team Plasma speaks is the separation of Pokemon from foolish people! That's the truth! All Trainers will become helpless to resist us! We alone will be able to use Pokemon!*
	The Seven Sages don't seem to use Pokemon, but you plan to keep using them yourself? You may yet fall victim to the monster you created, Ghetsis.
	The preparations are complete! When my perfect plan is set in motion, first a few gullible Pokemon Trainers who are unable to resist Team Plasma will release their Pokemon. Then that number will become a hundred, then a thousand... In no time, even the Gym Leaders and the Champion will become unable to fight us. Having a Pokemon will be considered a bad thing! Even people like the sad little Bianca, whose Pokemon was stolen in Castelia, will be unable to face public opinion and will release their Pokemon. That's the kind of world we'll make!*
	How do you plan to keep using Pokemon yourself if you're going to brainwash the population to the point that even the Champion can't have a Pokemon? Though I guess if you guys are trained in medieval weaponry- and I see no reason to doubt this assumption- then you'll instantly become the most powerful military force in Unova... which will be all well and good until Kanto invades us and we are forced to fend off Kantoese Rapidash Cavalry using only pointy sticks.
	You may have the Stone, but there's no chance whatsoever that the legendary Pokemon will accept you as the hero. So, if you're not willing to hand over your precious Pokemon, I suggest you search for some courage- because you're going to need it!*
	What? That's it? You're leaving? At least let me fight one of your Shadow Assassins before you go! Ah, hell. Hopefully there's some action on Route 9.

No action, but at least there's a mall

Route 9 is a wonderful example of the inequitable distribution of wealth in Unova; the poor rabble loitering outside the mall and rustling through the bushes is the motley assortment of roughnecks, bikers, and hooligans you'd expect to face in only the seediest of alleyways. Inside the mall is a small (but representative) sample of Unova's wealthy elite. Rich Boys, Ladies, and their servants wander the different stores buying Pokemon stuff and overpriced lemonade.

Of course, I fight all of them. Including the bushes.

	Alright, let's see what fearsome, late-game killing machine we get to replace Lumiere!
	*Wild Minccino Appeared!*
	...Huh. It's not often that every single word I speak in a sentence is completely wrong.

Nothing says "Pit Fighter" quite like "Well Groomed"

	Okay, so Jerry's a complete loss.
	[I'm not a mouse, I'm a chinchill-]
	COMPLETE LOSS. Hopefully we can hit up another Route before facing the Gym Leader.
	If I win, give me your Pokemon!*
	If you win, I won't have Pokemon, I'll have rapidly-cooling corpses.
	[Also, you won't win.]
	Bah! I haven't fallen so low that I'd steal somebody's Pokemon like Team Plasma!*
	Team Plasma: Less Honorable than Street Thugs.
	Join our team! Actually, I will force you to join us!*
	Again, killing my Pokemon kinda defeats the purpose of me joining you.
	[Powers of Frost, lay this lowlife... er, low!]
	Our team doesn't need a Trainer who is quite that strong!*
	Yes, it would be a shame if you were remotely competent.
	Hey, hey, what have we here, boys? You have good Pokemon. Let me see!*
	Hey, hey! A bad one teamed up with another bad one? Do you know what that means? That means we are very bad!*
	Yes. You are very bad.
	[One double scoop of Ice-cold PAIN coming right up!]
	I guess it was worth teaching you Frost Breath after all.
	*Simon is evolving!*
	*Simon evolved into Beartic!*
	Excellent. Now I won't be embarrassed to be seen with you around these wealthy, intelligent socialites.
	Welcome to Shopping Mall Nine! It's called Nine because it's on Route 9.*
	Well, the wealthy, intelligent socialites and then the chick behind the service desk.
	You can remember it by thinking of this: "Done shopping? Nein!"*
	Yes, yes, very clever. Let's see... ooh, I can buy a Hyper Beam TM here. Mew's whiskers, I might actually have to sell some stuff if I want that and the Giga Impact TM, though.
	Would you like a cool drink while your Pokemon battle?*
	Why yes I- wait, do you mean battle right now? I love this mall!
	[Me too, battle buddy! It's full of beautiful princesses.]
	Even when I am resting from too much shopping, I'm willing to battle!*
	Of course, it's your Pokemon doing all the hard work.
	I am very rich, but even I am pleased with the selection at this mall.*
	Eh. Mostly I'm happy it's all in one area so I don't have to wait for a new floor to load in.
	I am a Rich Boy, so I have great Pokemon!*
	Too bad you're not a great Trainer.
	[Hey, I've got no time to waste on Princes... even if you are a pretty prince. Ice King don't swing that way.]
	I am a Rich Boy. I will go on a shopping spree to make myself feel better!*
	I already feel great, so I'll go sit through some exposition to make myself feel worse.

Oh hey, haven't seen a Plasma Pep Rally since the beginning of the game

	Hello, Monk. This way.*
	What, we're going to lurk in the back of this crowd instead of dispersing it? Are you that afraid of Ghetsis?
	Ghetsis... What a liar. Desperately trying to con everyone with his speech.*
	That's correct! Our lord N has combined his power with the legendary Dragon-type Pokemon and intends to create a new world. We herald the return of the hero of Unova, founder of this region.*
	Preying on the superstitions of the common folk; he knows his audience, alright.
	Pokemon are different from people.*
	No shit.
	They are living beings who contain unknown potential. They are living beings from whom we humans have much to learn.*
	It's gonna be hard to learn from them if we abandon them all in the wild.
	They are beings whose greatness we should acknowledge! Beings who should be freed from our oppression! We, Team Plasma, invite you to join us! We all want to create a new world where people and Pokemon are both free! Ladies and gentlemen, I ask you now... please, release your Pokemon. And so I end my plea to you today. Thank you one and all for your attention.*
	Is it true?*
	Have we been making Pokemon suffer?*
	Maybe we should release our Pokemon like Team Plasma says...*
	No way! Without Pokemon, I'd be lonely and sad!*
	Well, at least the crowd isn't completely on Plasma's side, even if only for the most selfish reasons.
	What was that about? That speech was off-the-charts strange! The cooperation of people and Pokemon is how Unova came to exist to begin with. If a Pokemon really didn't want anything to do with humans, it would simply leave... Capturing a Pokemon in a Pokeball doesn't mean you've captured its heart.*
	If that was true, then why do we use Pokeballs at all?
	It's been a while, Iris and Drayden.*
	Oh! Mr. Alder! ...and the guy who helped out that time.*
	I'm Monk, future Champion of Unova, Ms. Little Girl Who's Only Here Because She's Drayden's... daughter? I've actually got no idea who you are.
	What's wrong? What does the Wandering Champion who left the Pokemon League need from us?*
	Briefly, my request is this. Tell us about the legendary Dragon-type Pokemon!*
	Are you talking about Zekrom? Or Reshiram? What's the sudden interest?*
	Moments ago, a troublemaker known as Ghetsis was here. He said a Trainer named N has reawakened Zekrom...*
	Yes! That Trainer called N apparently told Monk here to search for the other Dragon-type Pokemon!*
	It comes in a convenient carrying rock which fits my nomadic lifestyle, but it didn't come with an owner's manual on how to unpack it.
	Let me check that I have this straight. This N, or what have you, presumes to set the two Dragon-type Pokemon against each other in battle to test his convictions?*
	Oh, no! The Dragon-Type Pokemon get along so well!*
	Mew have mercy, if this entire sidequest ends in one big hugfest instead of a proper battle I think I might throw up.
	That's right, Iris. The one who makes Pokemon battle are the Trainers... And it's so the Trainers and the Pokemon can get to know each other better.*
	And also because it's an easy way to take things that other people don't want you to have.
	I'm going to the Pokemon League. No, I guess in this case I should say I'm "returning" to the Pokemon league! Of course, I'll defeat N! I'll teach him about the beauty of this world, where Pokemon and Trainers live together in harmony! Also, Monk, I'll await your arrival. Once you've obtained the Opelucid Badge, come to the League! The Opelucid Gym Leader is tough. Take care! Farewell. I'm counting on you, Drayden and Iris!*
	Aww... He's gone. Is he OK? He looked kinda scary.*
	Don't worry, Iris. He is the strongest Trainer in all of Unova.*
	Hey, I'm right here!
	Well, Monk, is it? Come to my home. As Alder asked, I'll tell you everything I can about the legendary Dragon-type Pokemon. Iris, child, please show me the way.*
	You need directions to your house?
	You bet! If it's Opelucid City, I can take you anywhere. As for the story of Zekrom and Reshiram, we'll tell you all we know about it! This way!*

I was expecting the house of the final Gym Leader
to be a little more mansiony

	I'll explain. What you are holding is the Light Stone. Reshiram, who will likely awaken from the Light Stone, and Zekrom, who is already awake, were once the same Pokemon.*
	That's... weird.
	That single Dragon Pokemon, along with twin heroes, brought a new region into being. And people and Pokemon had happy lives!*
	One day, however... The twin heroes, the older brother who sought the truth, and the younger brother who sought ideals,began to argue about how to decide which one of them was right. The single Dragon-type Pokemon that had been with them all that time split its body in two. One sided with the older brother, and the other sided with the younger brother.*
	That's super weird.
	In its pursuit of ideals, the black Dragon-type Pokemon sought to usher in a new and better world... It's name was Zekrom. And the other, the white Dragon-type Pokemon, sought truth, and to usher in a new world- a world of good... It's name was Reshiram.*
	So that makes me the older, truthy brother. I certainly have a better idea of how the world works than N does, though he set that particular bar quite low.
	Because the two of them were once the same entity, their battle raged endlessly and neither one could be declared the winner. They simply exhausted themselves. The twin heroes proclaimed that there was no one side that was right and ceased the conflict.*
	That story is way more boring than I had anticipated.
	But, but... The two heroes' sons started the battle again! And an instant later, Zekrom and Reshiram destroyed Unova with lightning and fire! Then, they disappeared!*
	Wait, so first they fought endlessly and nothing happened, and then they destroyed Unova? In an instant? No middle ground?
	But, but... if people work with Pokemon in the right way, we don't have to worry anymore about the world being destroyed. I mean, Zekrom and Reshiram worked hard for everyone and made a new region! So, it should be all right, I think.*
	Except Unova is full of people who don't work with Pokemon in the right way, from the Gym Leaders, to Team Plasma, right down to special guest Willi Ninja! If N starts this battle again, won't they just destroy the world again?
	True. Pokemon cannot speak. People may hurt Pokemon even more by imposing their selfish thoughts on them. But, no matter what, Pokemon and people believe in each other, need each other, and will continue to live together...*
	Yeah! So I'm never gonna forgive Team Plasma for trying to separate Pokemon and us!*
	Yes, yes, nobody likes Team Plasma. How do we stop them from destroying Unova?
	Sorry. We got a little off topic at the end. That is everything we know. Unfortunately, we don't know how to wake up the legendary Pokemon...*
	Great. What a productive conversation this was.
	I made a promise to Alder.* He told me not to hold anything back. If he can't defeat N, then Unova will need the strongest available Champion.
	I haven't seen anything to prove Alder can battle his way out of a paper bag; I'm definitely the one who will face N.
	We'll see. None of the Gym Leaders have really tested you; they all have their positions because of their wealth, power, or noble blood. I train Pokemon. Nobody challenges the Pokemon League unless they can overcome the power of my dragons.
	All anyone has been talking about lately is "Legendary this" and "Dragon that." I'll tell you something, Drayden; I'm not afraid of your dragons. Not yours, and not N's. A Pokemon is a Pokemon; it has hit points, and it has weaknesses. For once, I'm glad Unovan Idol will be broadcasting my match; I'm going to show the world the weaknesses of the Dragon-type!
	Monk, I'll be waiting for your challenge at the Pokemon Gym!*
	I'll be there, Drayden. I just need to make a quick stop before I go.

NEXT TIME: Drayden
Suggestions, Comments, Criticism welcome as always.

Spoiler: Routes Visited (click to show/hide)

Nuvema Town- "Marvin", Oshawott
Route 1- XXX
Accumula Town- ??
Route 2- "Pompey", Lillipup 6-12
Striaton City- ??
Dreamyard- "Mojo Jojo", Pansear 10-12
Route 3- "Timon", Patrat  8-15
Wellspring Cave- "Cletus", Woobat 11-14
Nacrene City- ??
Pinwheel Forest- "Heinrich", Pidove 12-30
Castelia City- ??
Route 4- "Urkel", Scraggy
Desert Resort- "Gustave", Sandile
Nimbasa City- ??
Route 5- "Miho", Gothita 19-25
Route 16- "Oscar", Trubbish 19-27
Relic Castle- "Teddy", Yamask
Lostlorn Forest- "Himmler", Tranquill
Driftveil Drawbridge- "Dewey", Ducklett
Driftveil City- XXX
Cold Storage- "Pompey II", Herdier
Route 6- "Bambina", Deerling, 22-22
Mistralton Cave- ??
Chargestone Cave- XXX
Route 7- "Charlie", Watchog
Celestial Tower- "Lumiere", Litwick
Twist Mountain- "Simon", Cubchoo
Route 17- "Ishmael", Frillish
Route 18- "Mothra", Larvesta
Route 8- XXX
Icirrus Moor- XXX
Dragonspiral Tower- "Nemo", Basculin
Tubeline Bridge- ??
Route 9- ??
Opelucid City- ??
Route 10- ??